IIM-C : Cruise control...

Home sweet home! Well… to be honest, it wasn’t Calcutta – nor was it my bachelor pad @ good ‘ol Hyderabad, but getting back to the familiar comfort of Bangalore was a relief. It had been a long week and with XL and FMS safely (and if I may add, hazardously) dealt with, there was just the IIM-C to go. Ironically, it was also the most arduous and important bit of my trip. Arduous – simply because it was the only place where I knew that the process would span over two days. And important it was - for more reasons than one. Not only did it feature in the top three… but I’m also reasonably sure that my mum would be all too thrilled if I landed up over there. The campus being a mere 30 min ride from home, of course.

Oh by the way, even in the middle of all this – I managed to lose my driving license. It’s a different thing that it had expired last December, but till date I haven’t been able to make up my mind as to whether it was Chennai or Delhi where I had taken it out of my wallet. Why?! You would ask me. Well – I warned you… I hate unnecessary bulges and I had to jettison more than half of all the junk that had mysteriously crept into the many folds of my wallet. Well, at least I did manage to get rid of the weird-potato-bulge on the back of my trousers! A new license [:o] – jeez! And they’ll tie a red-‘L’ on my Karizma, hand me a lollipop and ask me to make a figure of eight!!! Hyyuck!

Back to business – and I knew I had just one day to brush up all the Maths I could manage. They called it the ATM – the Aptitude Test in Mathematics, a one hour paper on specific student-unfriendly, hostile and difficult topics which is meant to test your affinity for the wrong kinds of figures and numbers. Apparently, this is to gauge your suitability for the PGDCM course, a separate management course offered by this institution with a special emphasis on software/systems related subjects. So much for the 98+ %-ile in the Quant section! L But then, even in your darkest hours – you’ll find your angel if you pray really hard. In this case, it was my IMS mentor-guide-counselor-friend, Sailaja. Believe it or not – she got me those easy-to-learn AP State board level I & II Maths texts, from which I did most of my Matrices & Probability revision! Actually in retrospect, it was her and another gem of a tutor-friend Bhaveen (English)... Over the past twelve months they managed to push, prod and motivate me into giving in my best for the entire process. Priceless, if you ask me.


March 13th, 2006 : My IIM-Calcutta interview @ Bangalore

Amongst the many things that you have to keep fighting when you know that the finishing line is not too far away, is complacency. I was lucky, I guess. The one hour that I spent on Sunday the 12th – trying to rack whatever little was left of my brains and solve the 33 questions that were staring back at me in the form of the ATM paper, was an eye-opener. As a rule, I try not to guess. For some strange reason, even after all the probabilistic and deterministic encouragement I could lure myself with – I always landed on the wrong side of the moon. For me – a 3/4th probability of my guess boomeranging back onto me, always turned into 1. And as for copying, I stopped doing that after one fateful day in BITS Pilani when I virtually photocopied my neighbour’s answer sheet – only to realize later that 1 and 2 at the top-right corner of the page were not page misprints – but darned different sets! Time’s up – and I manage 18 attempts spread over matrices, probability, time-speed-distance, the works!!! Okay, let me be honest 16 attempts and 2 educated guesses! Old habits die hard! [:o]

Out in the sun – and I hear figures. 26 attempts… then 29… then there were even 31 – and the average seemed to be well above twenty. The matter-of-fact way in which the others around me seemed to be discussing the fact of the matter – unnerved the hell outta me! What was I thinking? Here I was… with a hundred others who had smashed the CAT quant bouncer over the stadium for a Dhoni-Six – I was trying to play marbles with them! I decided to make a beeline for Koramangala. Tomorrow, would be a different contest – and I vowed to fire all cylinders. Oh well, hopefully!

Day of the lucky 13th…

Reality, as well as the sun – took too long a while to dawn on me. The good news being that my interview was at two in the afternoon. The bad news – Attestation woes! Although I had carefully attested my certificates, I had never really gone through the IIM-C interview form! I know – bad me [:(]. Apparently, the form needed to be attested as well. The day before had been a Sunday – no luck, whatsoever. Having woken up at nine and taken the next five minutes to risk-analyze the fact that I had just 5 hours to get my certificates attested from somewhere in Bangalore and hit the scene, I spurred myself onto action. Ninety minutes, and it really did take that long! A mobile wreck of PPTs, Gillette, headlines, towels, CherryBlossom shoe-shine - as unenviable as it could ever get! But the certs? I had to take a chance – I decided to head straight for IIM-B.

After pacing the corridors of IIM-B for nearly forty-minutes, I finally managed to get my interview form and certificates attested by none other than the Administrative Officer of IIM-B, himself! A good Samaritan named Sirajuddin who wished me luck for the day’s trials. Hmmm, the day seemed to have started off on a good note – I thought to myself, as I rounded the last turn which led to the IIM-Calcutta interviewees.

As I walked up to the pillar where the list of participants and their panels had been put up, I noticed my name under the list which read ‘Panel I’. Something, though – did not seem right at first glance. One… two… four… seven… nine…. ELEVEN ?! Eleven people – in my panel? In a flash, the whole FMS experience came back to me – all that commotion and chaos and minutes of pointless sparring with no conclusion and- NO! I stopped myself. That was different. This was IIM-Calcutta and I could not, even in the slightest way let this slip. Before long, a soft-spoken gentleman of about forty-five and with a decisively Bong look stepped up to check on us. An initial round of calling out the names revealed that the 11th member of our panel had decided to give this interview a pass. Hmmm… better – but only mildly so. Now there were ten of us… and Oh! NO!!!!!!!! – I was the tenth of the lot! No escape, this time. As I slowly resigned to my fate and readied myself for the scene where I’d be the forlorn candidate standing amongst the shadows awaiting my turn in the guillotine, we were summoned inside for our Group Discussion. It was time for the party to begin!


Their Majesty – the jury…

As we stepped inside the room, the first thing I noticed was that there were three of them. Somehow, after the ‘A’ and the ‘XL’ experience I had begun getting used to three-member panels. Of course, maybe two would have been better – but now was not the time to deliberate on speculation. It was the time to survive.

Coatman – There is something very important and urgent about a man who is suited for an occasion as this. Of course, I wouldn’t count some of the sweaty-palmed interviewees who decided to use their blazers – as an armour, I guess – against the barrage of questions that they were about to face. But a fair, elderly and well-spoken gentleman who carried it off with enough panache… yes you would mind your p’s and q’s in front of him.

Bongman – and trust me, you could make that out even before he said a word. For one – he seemed to be the one who was in charge of the proceedings. He spoke slowly, his speech impregnated with deliberate pauses – and as I would come to know later could scrutinize well, and debate – even better!

Admini – I will call him so, because for the better part of the entire process he was involved in some administrative work or the other. If he wasn’t verifying your score-sheets, then he’d be making a note of them in his own records – in fact, I guess he must have thought of me as a pretty interesting subject to cross-examine, that he took a quick break to pitch in a few bouncers of his own!

Bongman: Good afternoon, everyone…(short pause) And welcome to IIM-Calcutta’s second round of selection…..(long pause)….You know the rules…. We will give you a topic - you will have 3…4…5...minutes – (short pause)…you will have enough time - to think over it - and then... we will tell you - you will start discussion - and the discussion will last for a maximum of 15 minutes - maybe 15… maybe less - but everybody will have ample time to speak...and then you will have one minute - we will call out your names in a random order - and you will have to summarize, the discussion.

A-ha! I thought to myself, this was about to be my first Group Discussion where I would have to summarize… interesting!

Bongman: Your topic is - please note it down - 'Democracy demoralizes....'

Ten heads looked down busily into their notepads and scribbled down these two words. And there we were looking at him expectantly... waiting for the next word of the topic…

Bongman: I'll repeat that again… Wtf?.... 'Democracy demoralizes.'

And that was all?! It suddenly hit us out of the blue that those two words were probably all that there was to the topic – and time was already beginning to run away. A good thing – the fact that the FMS group circus which was not even 48 hours old had also dealt with democracy, albeit in a different avatar – but even as I thought of this, I had already begun jotting down my points in the standard 3-column structure.


Partners in Crime…

Start!

What?! Already ? Wait a sec… should I? But the guy on the other end of the table with over five years of work-ex was off in a flash!

Uh-oh – too late! Okay – plan ‘B’, second to break in. And once I had eased my way in – it actually turned out to one of the best group discussions I have ever had in my lifetime. There were examples, too many of them - pros and cons - 'of the people, for the people, by the people'. Somebody pitched in with a comparison of democracy with other ruling systems such as patriarchy, oligarchy and the like. On a personal front, I re-iterated a couple of my FMS points - the largest democracy, India vis-a-vis the wealthiest democracy, U.S. both successful models, but in India we followed more of a 'bottom-up' approach than a 'top-down' approach. The various levels of bureaucracy, where corruption has a chance of creeping in - the various stages of approval which might be needed to pass the simplest of laws, these were discussed in detail.

One of the more attention-grabbing points, I happened to churn out was about the State Assembly elections in West Bengal - where this time, unlike that past - there promises to be a lot of interest - the Left parties versus TrinaMool Congress - and the UPA in the middle. Such that no matter which party eventually ends up winning, the UPA will be in the middle - mentioned that it wasn't a 'happy’ situation to be in. Yes, I realized it – the minute I uttered it. Happy!? This was another one of the SMS-Mail generation virtues…I suspect!

Funnily enough – even while all this was going on, our very own Bongman was actually patrolling around the room, making it a point to note everybody’s expressions. There were about three-four of the group who didn’t speak much – but the rest of us were having the perfect GD – cordial, responsive and in fact, accommodative as well! Once, when one of the more reticent types tried to push his point forward, we actually stepped back and let him have his say. Ah! And I was fearing another FMS [:o] God is good!

And just for the record - ideas were still flying all over the room! [:)] China… to New Zealand... in the middle, I put across my point of FDI and privatization and how economic liberalization faces a challenge in this coalition government - the votebank politics that are foremost in the minds of all the politicians, it impairs the reform process. God! I was actually sounding like a politician on a compaigning spree! In fact, the group spent quite a while discussing this vague ‘reform process black-box’, lol!!! Yet another fact - Mentioned that the Indian middle-class in 300 million and more than the entire population of the USA - which led to President Bush acknowledging the fact that India was a better example of democracy than US was. Man! We were on a roll!

I had a minor slip-up in the middle when I decided to put forward the case of the UPA government carrying out a census of the number of Muslims in the Indian army… somehow, I realized it after saying it - that maybe religion wasn’t the best way to go. I switched tracks and the point was never brought up again. Phew!

Our heady discussion was brought to a sharp end by the single tap of a pen.

Admini: Thank you! That will be all… ‘X’ can you summarize the group’s discussion, please.

And then started a long and winding process of summarizing the GD - where then ten of us had our names called in a random order. Well, maybe not that random as well! The order had an uncanny feel of shifting from the one who spoke the least to I guess, the one who participated the most – and quick check with some of the other groups after we exited the room, confirmed the theory. And yes, I was the last one to be asked in my group. [:)] In all modesty, I thought the GD went off really well. In fact, one of the guys I met there – Shreekrishna, was even asked in his interview about whom he thought performed the best in the group discussion and how much he would rate him. Wonder of wonders! He actually mentioned my name and gave me a 9/10. He, truly was… Godsent! Well – it’s a different that when asked to rate himself, he pegged an over-modest ‘4’... which, of course I would not agree with.

Last Man Standing...

The minute-hand of my Swatch arced one 360 after another, as one-by-one everybody had turn in the fire. It was a long wait – the longest I have ever waited for an interview. Well, I did end up making a few good friends! Well - finally, the 9th candidate stepped out and I inched towards the door – waiting to be called in. Suddenly – Bongman stepped out! And started walking away… Hey?! Heyyy !?!? I’m still left !!!How could they forget-

Ah…. “loo break”! Another few minutes, I guess – oh well I thought to myself, as Bongman crossed me on his way. He saw me gong through the budget-special edition of Businessworld - Sorry, you're having to wait really long…

Huh?! Oh – he was talking to me! It took me completely by surprise – the words, the humbleness in the tone… I managed to mumble a - ‘Yes Sir...no problem though’

As he passed, I looked down and thought… Stupid answer! I should have said something else. Maybe broken the ice with a witty remark or something!

I started thinking of what could have been an appropriate response. In the meanwhile Coatman and Admini had come over for their li'loo trip, as well. As they passed me by - on their way back to the room - Coatman turned to me and said - Quite a long wait for you…

Err…Yessir! Damn it – the second opportunity to strike an informal chord before the actual grilling and I had blown it again! What on earth- then it struck me! The Indore scenario suddenly flashed up before me - chatting with Alaap, with half-a-marie biscuit concealed in my mouth, when they decided to summon me – me, originally the 5th out of the 6. Okay – done then, I decided. Next time, this would have to be it. Mind you – this oughtto go down in history as a Class ‘A’ act of courage – using one’s past misery to one’s advantage… lol!

As Admini called me into the room, finally – I purposefully walked up to the seat. All I needed was a decent interview. Bongman was already there at the panel and as the others walked in to their places - Coatman decided to start the conversation.

Coatman: Must be horrible to be the last one in the group, isn't it?
Myself: Yes...but Sir – I could help smiling - its better than being called in for an interview when you least expect it. In an earlier experience, I was 5th and much to my surprise, I was asked to go in first, when I was least prepared.

Coatman nodded in acknowledgement. There… done it! The air seemed more casual, now. Hah!

Bongman: So...you're working? How long?
Myself: I love my work! It gives me loads to talk about in interviews! Yessir - with Oracle...I've been with them for the past one-and-a half years. Actually a little more than that – about 20 months.

Bongman: And you did your engineering from?
Myself: Sir, BITS Pilani. (and I’m proud of it, baby!!! Err… though I admit – I wouldn’t be too sure if the equations were turned the other way around!)

Bongman: So, why do you want to do this? You're in a nice software job...doing well. I see you've got a pretty streamlined profile - why leave all this to join IIM-Calcutta?
Myself: Why? Are you kidding me? After all that slogging for CAT?! I decided to play my usual tune. Sir, to me a ‘management degree’ – is more than just a degree - its the bridge between the present and the future I see for myself. My long term objective is to launch a venture of my own - sometime in my early thirties.. As of the present day, I have contributed as a developer in the software industry - having been through almost an entire product life cycle, I realize the need to get a bird's-eye level view of the system…

Bongman: What view?!
Myself: Uh-oh… you know someday I should sincerely stop throwing words around! Ummm... Sir, a holistic view of the industry...I contended.

Myself: I was brought into this team at its formative stages - so I've been through the stages of requirements gathering from the clients, designing the functional and technical model - that project is slated for a May 2006 closure - (now, what I didn’t realize then was that I was shuffling between two conscious streams of answers - and mucking up both - mixture of my ‘why mba’ and my ‘job profile’. As usual though, my face put on a terrific expression of being 120% convinced about whatever I was uttering) Given my long-term goals, I need to do more than just develop - I need to understand the scenarios that leverage the software that we make - the business and economic factors involved - and for that I know that I cannot be stuck to a desk-job.

Bongman: Apparently – it wasn’t half as convincing as I hope it would be. No...but I don't understand.. You're in software now – (long pause) - in our course, we do not teach only software - it a lot of general courses. (Looong pause) Say, for example Admini would teach human ethics, I might teach you economics and Coatman here might teach you finance... so how is all this going to help you.... (Pause – I tried breaking in – but was cut off. Apparently the soliloquy still had a couple of lines to finish…) You could stay within the organization and learn all that you want to learn - rise up the ranks in your field.
Myself: Sir - my interests lie in running a software company - and not just developing it. For this, I need to understand the various factors which affect my long-term objective - a company would not only deal with developing the code - and we can always get people to do that bit - a company would mean... its HR, as you talked about human ethics.... its finances, its business impacts - and many other factors which would help me run a successful venture in a competitive environment...

Man…. I was weaving a fable around the situation and using the very strands that the panel had supplied me with. After all, very soon – I would reach a point where I would run out of arguments and justifications.

Bongman: But no... see even if you want a 'birds eye view' - you are going to end up diluting what you have built up over the years... ( and this very thought process stretched into another insanely long question… I had no option but to wait for him to finish)
Myself: Sir... but there's one thing here - what could be otherwise perceived as dilution could actually be used as an advantage-

Bongman: It was as if he had suddenly seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes... yes, tell me - what advantage?
Myself: Uh-oh… now what had I landed myself in! Sir, ultimately I would not be building software for the software industry - I would have to write it for some other field... so getting an exposure in all the fields would not be dilution, it would help me understand them better. Today - the software sector caters to sectors that are saturated - we need diversity and creativity to make a mark and survive...

Bongman: Creativity? (gives a disbelieving laugh)...You know I would really like to see you do it. Quitting your job, when you have the best of offers... and then start a company - and how would it help the country anyways?
Myself: Woah! So now it had come to challenging my idea on my face – I had no option. I had to stick by it. Oh Sir.. but I am pretty positive that we can make a difference. Right now... most of the software we build are for foreign customers - in about ten years time, India will be rich enough to buy the software they produce - there would be sectors such as… say, health and education - which could benefit immensely by investing in softwares... and these would indeed make a difference even to the lives of the poorest sections of the society.

Bongman: It looked as if he was thinking about something – about whether he should go on with the debate or not. He looked straight at me, and with a dissatisfied nod, said - Well...okay, but I just want you to know that I do not agree with you.

Now, in situations like these there isn’t much you can do really. There’ll be a part of you that’ll want to retrace every step you took that did not go down well with your audience – but too late, once a stand is taken, the best you can do is be convinced and stick by it. I pursed my lips and made a face as if I regretted the fact that he didn't seem convinced, but I really wasn't willing to budge from the theory I had so convincingly cooked up for myself.

Bongman: (turning to the Admini) You wanna take over ?

Admini: (Who was busy flipping through my attested education certificate copies all this while… suddenly found a new toy!) Uh... yes - You said.. how many years work-ex again?
Myself: Sir, a little over one and half years - twenty months at Oracle IDC, Hyderabad. Hey, I’d already mentioned this earlier!

Admini – in meanwhile was focusssing hard on the part of my interview form where I had written my work-ex details. His eye brows furrowed into question marks, his face screwed up in shades of doubt - he was busy doing mental math - and then… finally, the muscles relented.

Admini: Ah…. yes, that is 18 months. Dude! [:o] So, Hyderabad.... and you're from Calcutta - tell me the differences - from what you have observed within these two cities.
Myself: Okay… not a prepared one – but manageable. Sir... firstly Calcutta is a metropolitan city and has been a important city of the map of India for quite a while now whereas Hyderabad has made its presence over the past few years. Again, a lot of it has been because of good governance - and a willingness to invest in infrastructure… I had to shift to keywords – investment, FDI - and a willingness to let companies invest by granting them land and other facilities. This is one thing that is missing in Calcutta - as they are very wary about opening up the city for foreign investment. Well done, Kaushik! That is one reason why probably, barring Wipro - we would not find many software ginats in Calcutta - it is a pro-labour Union set-up which is not exactly the thing which works for a software company setup - where we are bound by timelines...

Admini: Decides to cut me short. So you think its a good thing to work for 18 hours in a day ?
Myself: Uh-oh… maybe I carried that one a bit too far. Sir, that is not what I'm trying to say - different companies have different work cultures - some work on a strict nine-to-six basis and whereas others, like ours - work on a flexible timings, but irrespective of that - project deadlines cannot be compromised on because of labour union strikes - because more often than not we are bound by foreign hand. A disruption in the work force would truly ‘ring the death-knell' of any company.

God!!! – what is with me! – and over-dramatization of the English language, every now and then!

Admini: Okay... so tell us a little bit about your extra-curricular interests and hobbies...
Myself: Wow! This was the best part of any interview! Sir.. would you like to have a look at the file.. (I lifted the file from my lap on to the table..) of certificates...

Admini: Umm... no no - you can tell me - that'll be fine.
Myself: Damn! Must’ve come across as the over-excited-about-extra-curriculars brat! When will I learn! (A little disappointed...) Sir, I was a part of the University Swimming team at BITS. I was also a member of the Dance Club and taught classical ballroom dances to over four batches of students. At Oracle... I am a part of the Toastmaster's Club - and a part of the office band, Trisha. We have given three live performances over the past 2 years. (Well… it’s a different thing that I wasn’t exactly a part of all the three shows… oh well – two sides of the same coin !!!)

Coatman: Now, for some reason - this peaks his interest. From being the silent observer all this while, to stepping right into the thick of things. My interview was about to get a shot of steroids!! Really...What do you play? Can I have a look at that folder of yours?
Myself: Awrite! Now this guy had to be my favourite! Sir... I am the lead vocalist in the band. However I do play the drums and have had formal classical training in the sitar for over six years. (Simultaneously, I handed over the file...)

Coatman: So where did you find the time to do all of this...?
Myself: Gee… I never really did what I should have done, Sir – study! But I decided to save that answer for another interview - :) Sir... I've done these at different phases in my life - and I would say that they have been really important in maintaining a balance between work and life beyond.

Coatman: Hmmmm... so do you get to swim now ? These days at work...
Myself: I was beginning to enjoy this. Sir... not much. Swimming was mostly in the college days.

Coatman: So how do you manage to keep fit? Do you exercise..?
Myself: At that point – trust me, I felt good enough to go jogging with him the next morning! Sir.. I used to till about four or five months back...and then... (made a sub-conscious effort of stiffening my posture in a funny kinda way – anything, to give some credibility to the fact that this bag-of-bones, at one time – did exercise.. lol !)

Coatman: Decides to play fill in the blanks. And then.. you gave it up to prepare for CAT and all this.
Myself: Well, it wasn’t really untrue… I gave a sheepish grin. Yes sir, I had to give it a break to focus on this.

All this while.....Coatman keeps flipping through the leaves of my file...and then suddenly lands on one ornate certificate that catches his eye...

Coatman: And football also? One word to describe his look – incredulous.
Myself: Uhhh…. (I was a little unsure of which one he was referring to and my best guess was that it was the XII class Super-A school division footer)... Sir, I think it’s the XII one you're... (and then I trailed off - oops ! He had landed on the ISB cert – one of participating in a BITS Alumni versus ISB match. What next?!) Oh that one was more of an initiative than a match - it was between the BITS Pilani Alumni Association and the present batch of ISB - I was a part of the organizing committee..

Coatman: ISB...Hmmmm... I knew what was coming next! So are you considering that as well..?
Myself: Thing is – over the past few minutes, I had developed a healthy rapport with him and I could not risk it – I had to be true. No Sir, I haven't applied to ISB. I did attend an information session and I did not think it suited my profile - and moreover, it was not what I was looking for in a b-school at this point in my life.

Coatman: He was hanging on to every word I was saying. And why would you say that ?
Myself: (Okay, firstly ISB guys no offence... ask me this question some other time.... but now - it was survival of the slickest) Sir - the ISB would typically be more suited to people with over 4-5 years of work-ex... also those who have missed the opportunity to do an MBA earlier in their life. With a major part of the batch being made up of people with increasing years of experience - a person in my shoes would probably end up investing the same amount, but losing out on the placements. Moreover, I don’t think one can learn all that there is to learn, in a 1-yr course…

Coatman: Yes, but their logic for that would be squeezing the number of hours into a smaller time frame. You know - some 600 plus hours. no holidays.... one straight stretch of about fourteen months or so.
Myself: I was about to correct him - 673 hours in 12 months, but checked myself. It would have clearly given away my interest in ISB!!! Also... I think 1-year is not enough to network, grow and gain a strong foothold in the field we specialize in.

Coatman: Hmmmmm.... but I must say, this folder of yours is very impressive. Very good, I must say.
Myself: WOAH! What a pleasant surprise.. I was so unprepared for this, it took a second longer to settle in. I don’t know how – somehow, I managed to keep a modest straight face. Thank you, Sir.

Coatman: So you were mentioning that you had attended some other interviews... what were they? What calls did you have ?
Myself: Sir - I had calls from all the six IIMs - (decided to stick to the modest look –it couldn’t have been more plain) - I have Bangalore next week. i am done with the others..

Coatman: Hmmm… so L-A-K-I... you're done with these. Okay - Kaushik (and having said that, he suddenly pried his fingers open to give a side-shot like one of those skimpy starving Channel V anchors. I was flabbergasted. WHAT?) - tell me TWO... (and he waved the ‘V’ of his fingers very emphatically) two things about yourself, which will make me go ... 'WoW!!!' - 2 things.
Myself: OMG! Where had I landed myself - now what? This was getting more interesting by the minute. I took about 5 seconds to look around and do the intelli-thinking act. Hey, I had to buy time! Sir… I guess I would consider my ability to 'perform-under-pressure' as one of things - my strengths.

Having said that, I shifted my gaze across the panel, to include them all in the next sentence I was about to utter - I was going to be an important one.

Myself: Sir, you see - to be honest, I have never been a 'first-boy' of sorts - but what I did was set goals for myself, worked my way towards them and got to them... It's not easy when people do not expect you to get there - circumstances change, friends change...the pressures change.. (and all too soon I found myself drifting into the slipstream of the past years... I had to stop... STOP!!!] - but it’s a nice feeling when you can brave all that and reach to where you thought you were capable of. I - I would consider that as the first point. Secondly... (okay now what!... I paused for a second or two..) I would mention my ability of being able to empathize with others around me - putting myself in another's shoes and seeing things from their point of view. Sometimes people we interact go through different patches and see things from a very different perspective - times like these we need to understand the situation and communicate with them in the language that they would want to be communicated in (whatever that meant!!!) In my past, this is one thing which has helped me in dealing with my friends in college, colleagues at work... and others... (I trailed off…)

What a whole lot of gibberish !!!

Coatman: Okay... Kaushik - so how do you think you are performing now - you know we're all performing over here. The others who were here before you - so how do you think you're doing?
Myself: Man, this gentleman was turning out to be one helluvan interviewer! Sir...(I began..on an unsure note) I think I am giving in my best...and trying to-

Coatman: Cuts me short. No… I want you to rate yourself. How do you think you're performing in right now ?
Myself: Hmmm…. I felt my brain – or whatever remained being prodded, poked, tested and pushed into overdrive! Sir...I... think I am doing okay... I'm doing good. I nodded emphatically, as if that would go to show my conviction in what I said. Sheesh – the things I do!

Coatman: Hmmmm.... okay Kaushik - you said that you're good at empathizing. Now consider a situation where you step out of the situation you are in right now... and say, step into….my shoes - what do you think is going on through my mind... (even as he said this, a smug patronizing smile spread across his face..)
Myself: Now, honestly – I don’t know how any of you would have reacted to this question – a beamer, aimed straight for the jugular? Quite frankly, I somehow found this in good humour – and decided to play along. Well Sir.... I think you have had a long day.... - (and I could see slow smiles spreading across the faces of Bongman and Admini... even as they pretended to be busy in other stuff) - and this being only the very first day of the interviews - you would have a fair idea in your mind as to what your decision regarding me is - so I guess you would take the next few minutes to ask a few questions to clear the remaining doubts, doubts about taking me in - and doubts against taking me in.

HERE is where I should have stopped, but I never do..... as you would surely know by now :) I decided to push it a little bit.

Myself: I don't think you would ask me these questions directly - you would probably find out the answer in an indirect manner. What a load of garbage from Soothsayer Kaushik!!!

Coatman: He was looking at me very pointedly – the grin unmasked. Okay Kaushik – what if I tell you that I have already made up by mind about you. What would you think I have decided…?
Myself: Death-trap! But looking back at what I said still makes me smile. I spoke slowly – as I chose each word with utmost care. Sir…. You have probably decided… that yes, I am an honest and a passionate person. You would probably discuss your views… with the rest of the panel and then arrive at a decision.

Coatman: He suddenly had this huge grin on his face. Well - that is a politically correct answer. That's alright - but you know what I would have said if I was in your place ? I would have said that 'You Sir, have already made up your mind to take me in - now it depends on these other two gentlemen'.

Now, really - I didn't know how to react to this...at all. First, I kept wondering whether what I had heard was correct – then, I kept wondering whether I should read anything into it. Well in any case, I managed a polite smile.... for whatever the moment was worth.

Coatman: Shot an authoritative look towards the others. Okay... anything else ?
Bongman shrugged and looked to his right. He, apparently – had had enough of me in the first few entrepreneurial moments itself!

Admini: Kaushik... this 464/500 and 385/400 in your ICSE/ISC.. how is it so? You have more than five and four subjects..
Myself: Old confusion. Sir - in ICSE, we usually take the best five out of the six subjects that we study and for ISC - we take E+PCM... tried telling him about how the board and our school interpreted the marks - but for some strange reason - as if his job was on the line, he insisted that I note down the total marks obtained on the interview sheet.

As I took some time to recalculate the scores - Bongman started on a monologue - Hmmm… you know different colleges might interpret the scores differently - my son had the same thing when he had applied…

I lifted my head to mumble a few explanations, as I thought these words were directed towards me. Oops - apparently I had barged into a private conversation between Coatman and Bongman ... Bongman gave me a wearisome look - and asked me to carry on filling the form...I hastily wrapped up the remaining bit.

As I finished, there were the customary round of thank you's... and as Coatman handed me my folder back – and his last words still ring in my ears. Loud and clear.

Coatman: But seriously Kaushik - handing my folder-full of extra-curricular certificates back to me - good work. Keep it up!

It was a happy Monday evening I stepped out to, as I exited the room. For some reason, the day seemed like a relief. Not the ones where you wait for it to get over and done with, but the times when you know that you did your best – and there were some who appreciated that.

Patience, the say pays. Well, in this case – it had paid me enough to keep my dreams alive.

In retrospect...

The spirit of competition - so, how important is it to win? The English language is treacherous enough to allow phrases like – Well begun, is half the battle won! As well as - A bad beginning makes a good ending! I think what lasts longer than the ephemeral juxtaposition of words meant to confuse, is what we ourselves believe in. Here, in the cut-throat competition of the society we live in, the easiest way to get bigger than our neighbour, is by cutting him short. This spawns a malicious chain of negativeness, which keeps us from realizing that another way to get ahead of the competition is by bettering oneself. Here, in the final selection round of one of the most sought-after b-schools in the country – it was almost unreal to see the dignity and class with which the group went through the minutes. Experiences like these set the tone for things to come. As a person, we are not insecure about being who we really are. Comfort and a feeling of safety would give a boost to anyone’s confidence. Confidence to do more than just answer questions thrown at you from every subject you could possibly think of – it’s the confidence to leave a lasting impression on whoever your audience is. Amen.

Sing for the moment

Live in virtue, no desire...
In the grave and angel's choir.
You look to heaven and wonder why...
No one can see them in the sky

- Engel, Rammstein (translated).

Verdict: Selected for the PGDM and PGDCM batch of 2006-2008.