>> Trial by fire...

Final Fantasy 2006

2006-04-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

V for Verdict. C for Convert.

FMS : Waitlisted at No. 007 in order of merit.

XLRI : Waitlisted at No. 057 in order of merit.

IIM-K : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-I : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-L : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-C : Selected for the PGDM and PGDCM batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-B : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-A : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

... and nothing else matters.

01. http://www.hindu.com/2006/04/13/stories/2006041319840300.htm

02. http://www.hindu.com/edu/2006/04/17/stories/2006041700270100.htm

03. http://www.hindu.com/edu/2006/04/24/stories/2006042400070100.htm

04. http://sandpaper.bitsaa.org/10_academics/mba.htm

05. Economic Times - 21/11/2006

IIM-B : Bong-wronged...

2006-03-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

And finally, I was running the concluding lap. The long and winding road was nearing its last few bends and as I approached Bangalore for yet another time, I could not help but pause for a minute and think about the whirlwind, the last six months had been. I remember the days before it all began, January 2006 – the initial euphoria of having surpassed expectations, the high of the investment having paid off (oh come on! The guys who know me would agree – getting up for 6 a.m. ‘midnight’ classes was not my idea of a joke!) - all that, allayed with the fear of the wish-train getting derailed prematurely. February 2006 – the struggle to keep the conscience clear and putting up one helluva show for the office party in the first week. All that traveling and ‘holidays’ which didn’t really agree to my definition of the word, the pub-visits skipped, the circumstantial camaraderie of a bunch of anxious MBA-aspirants, the interviews baits pitched, the gaffes masked, the sheepish ‘I’m-sorry-I-don’t-know’ grins unmasked. We don’t realize it, till we’re though it – but there’s no missing the truth behind it all. It changes you.

For most aspirants who I have had the opportunity of interacting with in the last year or so, the CAT experience resembled a journey akin to walking a tightrope over burning coals. But make no mistake - it’s not the difficulty of the journey that dissuades most, it is the uncertainty of the result. Now, this is where I failed to see eye-to-eye with most of them. Figures are meant to intimidate – 150,000… 99.99… 6… 1:110 – and with media and peers serving as a constant reminder of how high the stakes really are, the selection process takes on the ominous avatar on being more of an elimination process. So, is it always the survival-of-the-fittest? Fitness is not a one-day wonder – it’s the outcome of a regime that has been perfected over time. But for most of us, we teeter dangerously close to burying ourselves in a plethora of self-indicted ‘what-ifs’. But is it even justified to be unduly worried about the results even before embarking on the journey? Unchecked, it breeds in the mind and saps the confidence out of our successes, magnifies the despair in our failures. Justified – yes, maybe for the peers. After all in a competition as intense as this, there’s nothing that would possibly stop you from benchmarking yourself against your thickest pal.

March 21st, 2006 : My IIM-Bangalore interview @ Bangalore

The first thing that dawned on me as I woke up to the unfamiliar alarm of Bikram’s phone (I’d forgotten my own in good ‘ole Hyd) - was that it was the day of redemption. Now, in retrospect – I should have seen the warning bells, and cautioned myself against my old enemy, complacency. Why, frankly I had had quite a few ups and downs, but somehow I seemed to be at ease with the way the ‘A’ and ‘C’ experiences had shaped up. Personal opinion, of course – this might not have any bearing with the way things finally result in – but maybe, there was a part of me that simply wanted to believe that where it mattered, I would do well. Even as I put on the grey Turtle for one last time, even as I glanced through the day’s headlines on the Monday TOI, even as I made my way to Banerghatta road for my final interview - I was guilty. I was pre-empting the result before even re-visiting my PPTs for the Bangalore stint. 7 – I thought of the number of interviews I had been though, and convinced myself that after being through such a diverse bag of questions – they probably wasn’t any question that could upstage the apple-cart. It was Bangalore, after all wasn’t it? (There, again!) Looking back, this turned out to be one of those learning experience you’re really too guilty to talk to others about - but the lessons remain, of course.

IIM-Bangalore had four panels scheduled simultaneously on two different floors. The surprise almost caught me off-guard – I was listed with eight unknown names!!! Somehow, this certainly seemed off the normal scheme of things. Maybe the fact that IIM-B has the most unpredictable call-list of all the Indian MBA institutes had something to do with this, I told myself, as I decided to break the ice with a couple of others in my panel. There was who I thought was a demure CA-girl, who turned out to be a diametrically opposite all-32 baring well…umm…situation, if you please. The over-excited fresher who reeked of trouble – the reticent one, the playful one. In short, I was treading in unfamiliar territory. There were a few with the lone ‘B’ call – it’s a thing IIM-B’s famous for – and in all fairness too. An amazing number of applicants who would have otherwise missed the IIM-MBA bus altogether – oh come on, anyone can have a bad day! Bottomline, I was up against stiff competition and it was difficult ignore the fact that I would have to prove myself amongst the unknown – yet again! I felt tired at the thought – definitely not the kind of mental-setup you would want to be in when you’re about to sell yourself in the half-n-hour tryst with one of the top two b-schools in the country.

The Bong Identity…

Having faced quite a few three-member panel, I felt ready for whatever was in store for me. In fact, I had half-expected the panels to have three, if not more – as in, how much does it take for the odd prof-on-a-chai-break to step in for a few minutes to get himself some grade ‘A’ entertainment (might even be R-rated at times, who knows? Refer to my XLRI experience!). After all it was home ground, and we were the visitors! Well, not that we had much cheerleading for the others [:)]! But it turned out to be only two of them.

Uno - I recognized the gentleman even as he stepped out of the discussion room to cross-check our names with his copy. Hey! It’s a BONG!!! [to be shrieked in the same pitch as that of that crazy its-a-boy-nurse in one of the earlier Pulsar ads] In fact, with his round viewfinders(on further inspection - specs), skeptical frown and important gait, he so resembled the quintessential Calcuttan, I was half-sure that I could engage him in a MohunBagan-EastBengal discussion – right there! What I didn’t know – is that he would have won hands down. Convince him? Next to impossible. And reason with him? Impossible. We shall refer to him as Imposso. No,not related to Picasso – to the best of my knowledge.

Dos – Hey! I’d almost mistaken him to be an applicant! Surely, he seemed to be too young to be interviewing us? But oh well – it’s not that I could do anything about it. With close-cropped hair, a smart air about himself and a Thinkpad lying ostentatiously on his side of the table, I was unsure of what to expect. For the time being, Smartie he was – and so he shall be in this episode.

As Imposso read out the list, we realized with considerable amount of relief, that one amongst the eight had decided to skip it. Hmmm…. Seven, now that didn’t seem too bad! In a flash, I remembered my IIM-A interview where one of the seats was left vacant by some kind soul, and OH! – apparently, there were more coincidences than just that. The discussion room turned out to be the same room as that of my IIM-A interview! We trooped in as our names were called out in order… and as I looked around the familiar U-setting, check this out - the seat, which I had been allotted for the Case Study was also the same as that of the ‘A’ interview! OMG! On this day, we were seated from the left – me being the 4rth in order. Come to think of it - the other day we were seated from the right – and I was the 5th!!! As I indulged in momentary parallelisms and basked in the fleeting idea of my interview season ending with a grand finale – Imposso, cuts in. Oh well, that was just the beginning in any case.

Imposso and Smartie – God bless their souls – began by giving us an informal introduction of themselves. Now this felt good! For the first time, the interview panel had considered us worthy enough to give their introductions to. I was flattered… but maybe for a nanosecond. Suddenly, it struck me! Smartie – in his intro had mentioned his surname as… oh no! BONG again! See if you’re confused – lemme explain, with Bongs – it’s like that old proverb where two’s company, but three’s a crowd. And little did I know – that it would be worse than that – FFA. Back home, they call it a free-for-all, if you know what I mean!

Imposso: You will be given a case-study to go through and the first ten minutes will be for you to go through the case. 10 minutes?! Wow – that’s generous! You will have the next fifteen minutes to discuss the case, at the end of which you will have to arrive at a conclusion. Woah?! Conclusion – so this is gonna be one of those where we simply have to conlude? Dangerous. In the last fifteen minutes, you will have to write a summary of the group’s discussion – lemme repeat, not your own points, you will have to write what the group discussed.

Fifteen!!!?!? To write a summary?! OMG – there at the other interviews they’d hardly give us anytime for the summaries! I’d had to submitted incomplete sentences… and fifte- no! maybe I had mis-heard them. I clarified by asking Imposso, and by jove – 15 it was! Man, I was rolling in excess time - little did I know then, that when it matters most - you never ever seem to have enough time.

Imposso: Now before we begin, we will have one round of introductions. Please start from this end (pointing to the girl at one end) – something in brief. About 2-3 lines or so…

Ah, now this reeked of an opportunity begging to be taken. The first time the group and the panelists get to hear you. I was determined not to make a mess of it and decided on a 30-second ‘sound-bite’ – branded, of course! While most of them began with a pretty informal “Hello/Hi friends”, I decided on an assertive ‘Good Morning’ baritone. Touched upon the three brands that I knew would sell – Don Bosco, BITS Pilani and Oracle! Okay… now this was weird. I had finished – and where were the admiring stares? Leave alone admiring – I hardly received a look. In the next few minutes, my questions were answered, of course. This innocuous little group of seven had 4 IIT-ians and 1 Chartered Accountant. Need I say more?

Yes. I say - Damn!

Laissez-faire a.k.a free-market

It was a tough case – the toughest of all the ones I have attended or heard of. Also, I suspect that in this case – this market was selling fish, fish and only fish.

The Mongolian govt. has spent its budget building a bridge which the people of the residential half of the city use to commute to the commercial half of the city. But now, everybody seems to be using the bridge and the congestion has reached alarming levels. Now there are three people with weird-ass Mongo-names... one is the economist who pushes the idea of levying a tax on people who use the bridge. This incurs the wrath of the socialist who says that the rich and the poor cannot be taxed the same amount. Another person in trouble is this lady - politican-counselor, I think - who doesn't want to lose the next elections and thus cannot levy a direct tax and at the same time has to do something about the congestion. She also knows that levying an income-based tax will not work as it is not possible to accurately determine the actual income of a citizen. What is the solution?

To add to the confusion, some suspicious-looking numbers were also thrown about - Mongolia has a population of 10 crore and with 10000 men working per day it takes XYZ amount of money to build the bridge… and so on, and so forth. And that, to it was given separately – right at the end of the passage, which almost mandated us to use it.

Now it had been a while – a good three weeks, since I had practiced my last case study – I thought I’d be pretty comfortable with the McKinsey MECE grid and the incredibly useful logic tree. Negative. It hit me hard, as I struggled to find ways and means out of the mess. We were not supplied with any extra paper and had to do with the unused half of the GD-sheet – in fact, although I didn’t realize it then, I was developing a dislike for the case. I guess it might have something to do with the fact that I wasn’t able to spot any giveaways – easy insights at the first go. And then…. the circus started.

Imposso: Okay…. Begin.

C-R-A-Z-Y, and that is if you want me to spell out what happened in the next fifteen minutes. In fact, it was more of a Kumbh Mela, to be precise – and sadly, it wasn’t one with the happy long-lost-brother reunion. No sooner was the green flag waved, than the one to my right – sped off on a monologue, which I suspect – only he understood. Amidst all that incoherency – Fresherboy starts strutting his stuff… okay… now that’s it – 1 up – 2 up…. And there’s the thir- ! HEY !!!!! Jabberlady on the other end of the table had butted in with her two cents… wwwhat? Three down and I’m not even there? Oh come on, this was not how it was supposed to have gone! And even as I thought this angry thought – the fourth person had squeezed in his view. This was turning out to be quite a nightmare!

Panic gripped a part of me as I barged in rather angrily with my ‘key-entities’ point, which by then had become stale meat. I shifted gears to stakeholders – and much to my vexation, was interrupted even before I could make my points! And that guy had the nerve to talk about stakeholders! Whoa!! Suddenly, it was as if the tables had turned – and I was on the receiving end. What next? Nonstop-Fresher decided jump onto the solution in the second minute, that’s what! Boy, I could have pummeled him to the ground right then! Grrrr….

Jabberlady, meanwhile was on her own trip, which was – time-dependent one way traffic. ON A BRIDGE!!!! And to add insult to injury, she quoted an example of Calcutta! WTF!? It was almost like an unwritten rule in my mind – if anybody had the right to quote an example about the City of Joy, it was me. Apparently, the lady thought otherwise! Once - twice – thrice… and the same one-way point. I had to interrupt her – it’s a different thing that her voiced boomed over mine for a good five seconds before we tag-teamed her out of the ring. But I had hardly contributed any original points as such – and flagging this off as an emergency situation, I had to resort to an old trick of mine. I like calling it – ‘ethical piggybacking’. Make no mistake – you’d hate me if I’d do it to you. But what the heck – it was a question of survival, so I guess the usual disclaimers apply… lol! [:)]

In the melee, somebody mentioned the word ‘boat’, as a substitute for cars. Fortunately his voice was drowned in the commotion and by the next break, I was prepared. I ethically built on his idea to talk about 'ferries' for cars. Hah! So listening does have its merits, I guess! NonstopFresher spoke about infrastructure cess and "equitable distribution of wealth" – once, and the other time ‘inequitable’… not that anybody was paying any attention to what was being said! Somebody brought the point of commercial hubs being built on this side of the bridge. Good point! Darn it – I should have thought of that!

My problem was the at the start of the GD I had just one point - instead of same tax, or varying it based on income - we could vary it by the time, that was people who HAD to travel during peak hours would have to pay the toll tax - others could very well reschedule their journey, if it wasn't of utmost importance. And then came the wacky ideas – having cars of specific colours pass on specific days! NonstopFresher cheaply brought up my sole point some five-minutes later under the garb of a new point! I couldn’t help but cut him short with a rude ‘Yes… that has already been discussed of course!’ Boy- was he pushing it!

I had my time to payback all that when he started – “Also if it is a big vehicle…” My mind was on fire – more with irritation than anything else! ACT NOW!!! Hmm.. I thought - WHAT TO DO?! Well.. give it a high-sounding name! Well - OKAY DONE... what next?! SHOOT! And then, finally - I had my twenty seconds of fame. “Vehicle-specific taxation” – don’t ask me what it means, it sounded good – and apparently meant that the small cars had to pay less. Along the way, we also drifted to the point that lorries, trucks and heavy-goods vehicles could be taxed higher during the office hours so that they could schedule their operations. Well, if anything, we had a surplus of points - getting corporates and commercial houses on the other side of the bridge to sponsor a second bridge... and also , apparently - I wasn't the only one thinking about 'well-sounding-names' – NonStopFresher barged in with "staggered work timings". Oh well, it reminded me of Kiran Mazumdar Shaw's biocon - but I had been advised to keep real life examples away for case studies - and I forced myself to do just that. Overall – considering the kind of group discussions I was conditioned to, you’d agree with me if I say that it was wholly unsatisfactory. There were few overtly aggressive players - not a group where you could break free from the pack to make your mark.

Thankfully, in the minutes that followed, I managed to scribble my summary all the way to the last line. And I finished in time - WOW! Well, in any case - this was new. Usually - the GD/case study went off well. So by the time I was called in for my interview, I was pretty much at ease. Today, I knew that the PI would play a key role in my selection. About interviews, there were two things that hadn't been touched in any interview till date - a) the stock markets, and b) the "venture" I keep throwing at every second interviewer - nobody till date had asked me about what that venture could possibly be... oh well. They had warned me against it – and I was sure that as long as I didn’t get into specifics, I’d survive. Well – mea culpa. I did, and I sure as hell paid the price for it.

The Bong Massacre…

Before I knew it – the three applicants ahead of me had finished their time in the trenches. Feedback seemed encouraging, indeed – cordial tete-a-tete minus any offensive questions on probability or statistics.

Smartie, in the meanwhile had stepped out to relieve himself, I suspect. Dunno why this keeps happening to me! As he summoned me inside on his way back, I stepped into the room and closed the door firmly. Well, this was it - and as I walked up to them, I started on a very confident 'Good Morning Sirs' note.

Imposso: Morning... please sit.

I made myself comfortable in the hot-seat - as comfy as I could with 2 Bongs staring at me.

Imposso: Your marksheets, please.

Well, I decided to hand them the entire folder which had all my certificates. Of course – give me the slightest opportunity and I’m gonna do a Japanese fan-dance of all my extra-curricular certificates. Well, it’s a different thing that you might not see them after you’ve seen my BITS Pilani grades-sheet!!!

Smartie in the meanwhile seemed transfixed to his Thinkpad, which I suspect had the details of all the candidates...

Imposso: So - Kaushik, tell us a little bit more about yourself.
Aami: Of all the clichés… tsk! tsk! Sir, I was born and brought up in Calcutta - and I did all twelve years of my schooling in Don Bosco School, Calcutta...

Smartie: Interrupts. Park Circus, or Liluah?
Aami: Woah... they knew stuff about Calcutta and the two different branches of the school! Hmmm…another born-n-brought-up-in-Cal, I suppose. Park Circus, Sir.

Smartie uttered a 'hmmmm...' and shook his head with the obvious pleasure of having established his familiarity with my profile. In any case, I decided to continue.

Aami: As a result of spending such a long period of time with my family I have developed strong ties with them. My father is an electrical engineer and currently working as the Deputy Manager (again, I missed the word 'general' - I dunno why, I keep goofing up my Dad's job profile) in Techno Electric, India. My mother's a Geography teacher is Shree SharoDa AashrOM Balika BidyalOy - I was using cheap tactics here - deliberately using the Bong pronunciation - to strike a chord - well, it failed - and if anything, miserably. My sister's in her second year of Engineering. I've always thought of myself as very goal-oriented. For example, I was never really a class-topper, but I wanted to get into BITS Pilani and set myself that goal - and finally, did end up getting there....

Smartie: Cuts in again, with a snide look panning his face. Yes, and that is all you seemed to have done. Get into it...

Uh-oh! Unwarranted attack!!! And that too, way too early in the interview! Very very unexpected. I glanced at him nervously - forced a smile.... and mumbled a ‘Sirrr…’

Smartie: You joined and then your grades went decreasing and decreasing... and then in the third year especially...
Aami: Get up Kaushik, fight! Get up, you dog! Sir… that was not just because of academics - I had jaundice - for which I could be on campus for only two months of the five that a normal semester spans. (This is where I should have taken out my marksheet and showed him the withdrawal 'W's - but I was handcuffed - I couldn't - the second sheet had a rainbow of D's - which given a chance, I would not bring their attention to - I decided to continue.) I'm not saying that this is the sole reason - however, this did play a part...

Imposso: Meanwhile, he had arrived at my marksheet - and was looking very intently at the first page. Well, in all honesty – that’s all that was visible to him - the four pages were stapled and inserted one over the other in the sheath - would be pull it out? Would he? Your Maths - you seem to made poor grades in all your maths-based courses...
Aami: Oh no! I forced an incredulous look! - Sir....not all...

Imposso: Boy, did he have me on a platter! No... no... I'm seeing here - Maths I - C.... Maths II - C.... Maths III - C.. Optimization - C...

Oh well, didn't I tell you I was consistent? The moment, he said Maths II, I was almost tempted to say - Sir, thank heavens, it's not a D! It's called Death by Linear-Algebra… LOL!!! [:)]

Imposso: Only Prob-Stat you have made an 'A'...Ah! salvation! Awrite - lemme hear it, fellas [:)]

Now what... would he ask me a question on Probability-Statistics? He was pouring over my courses - a part of me wanted to offer to take out the whole transcript - but seeing the kind of reaction C's had on him, I decided to stop. D's would obviously kill him, if not bury him altogether.

Imposso: Principles of Management.... what have you done in it?
Aami: Ah! the circle of life! if you remember, I first faced this question in my first interview - K, and now, my last. This time around, I decided to do justice to it. Sir, it was a course where we were introduced to the basics of management principles - we learnt about various analysis tools such as the SWOT analysis and had modules on HR-related issues, ethics, marketing and strategy...

Imposso: Okay Kaushik - please do a SWOT analysis of yourself...
Aami: WWWHAT????! I'm sure for a second - my face would have had a BIG “OH-FUCK!!!” scribbled all over it. I quickly masked it - and thought for a few seconds. Strengths...okay. Weaknesses..okay. Opportunities... umm, still okay. Threat?! Umm - bong interview panels, I suppose. [:)] Sir… would you like me to use a paper to draw it for you?

Imposso hesitated for a quick second, but Smartie quickly pushed a paper under my nose and egged me on – “Sure, sure... use this.”

Hmmmm...now what?! I drew the cross and labelled the four quadrants and Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. And then, I had to start!

Aami: Blabber-mode on! Sir, first my strengths. One - I would like to mention my ability of performing diverse roles. My ability to fit into any given responsibility - I would label that as one of my strengths. Second - I paused for a while, as I was not really sure of how to word this - my ability to empathize with others - to put myself in another person's shoes - this has helped me immensely in the past - in conflict diffusion and enhancing communication channels between people (Say what ?!) Thirdly - I would also mention my Determination - to perform under pressure - and achieve a goal I set for myself…

No reaction. There could have coconuts in front of me, for all I cared. I had to go on.

Aami: Amongst my weaknesses, I would first mention my ability to be euphemistic in situations which demand tough-talking. Sometimes when what has to be conveyed is not really the best of news, I have sugar-coated it to make it seem better - this is not necessarily the best thing to do - as I have seen in the past - people to tend to take you for granted. Of course, these have been learning experiences and I have improved over the past few years. A second thing I would mention is my tendency of getting too attached to tasks I might undertake - this is in specific reference to an incident from my college days - (will they ask?) - sometimes if we treat things on their personal worth to us, we might not deal with it in the best way possible. In my case, I ought to have decentralized power and delegated responsibility to handle it better...

Imposso: So you're basically telling me that you're not a very good manager.
Aami: Shocked! They were actually trying to stress me out. Or maybe, I think I stressed them into stressing me out. No Sir, what I'm trying to tell you is - that I have identified these weaknesses and learnt from past experiences to make sure I don't repeat them, and that I would make a very good manager indeed.

Imposso: Hmmmm... and having uttered that profound syllable, he looked down.

I had to continue.

Aami: Moving on to Opportunities.... what the hell do I say?!.... I think I am in that point in my life where a two year management course would fall in line with my long-term goal of launching a venture of my own.

Imposso: Starts digging… What kind of venture are you exactly looking at? – my grave!!!
Aami: Unsuspecting poor old me. Sir... it would have to be something where I can leverage my present experience in the software field - so in all probability, a software company to cater to segments that are yet to be tapped.

Smartie: Jumps in - I could literally see the excitement in his eyes. So what will it be - a products company or a services company...?
Aami: I was walking a fine line between what I knew and what I didn't. I knew I had to be careful. Sir, it would probably be a products company. The recent trend has been that of a shift towards services companies - and that sector is inundated, if I could call it - (seriously Kaushik - wouldn't flooded been much simpler...) - so if it has to be in service, it would have to be in niche segments. In products - there are not many companies in India that have a product to sell -

Smartie: Do you know of any Indian companies that have products?
Aami: Uh-oh - no, I didn't. But I had to try thinking - suddenly, almost like a flash of lightning - I knew I had the answer. [:)] Yessir, there are a few products like say Finacle - the banking software product of Infosys - and then we have Flexcube by I-flex...

Imposso: With an impatient look on his face. Okay... so what would your product do?
Aami: Oh dear - he was asking me for a business plan... no no, where did I lead them to? And that too - I really don't remember committing to a product plan at all! Sir, today most of the software India makes is exported abroad - because that is where the money is. But in about ten years, India would be able to invest in software products which might leverage some of the otherwise uncommon segments....

Imposso: Boy, I couldn’t have named him anything else! Yes... so tell me. What will your product do?
Aami: Jeez. This was insane - I began feeling like a newbie trying to convince two VC's of the sense and sensibility of my idea. I waged on. Sir to quote examples from the top of my head - we could leverage them in fields like health and education...

Point to be noted - SO far, I always tried baiting the panel. This was one case - I might as well call it - the revenge of the panel - no idea why, no idea how - but they had successful managed to drag me into a slipstream, where I was going too fast to stop.

Imposso: Six feet under. Okay - so what would you product do?
Aami: Now, there was no turning back. Okay, Sir - let me try explaining this. I might be a little biased because of my backing in a database company. Let us take the health sector - we could have an interface where the a patient's details could be stored in a central repository - and this would span across the country - so no matter where the patient is - he could get a check-up done... and...

Smartie: Cuts in - But what good is that? I could simply buy an Oracle database and then install it...
Aami: With a knowing look. Ah... but Sir-

Smartie: Interrupts. And then... I could access the database anywhere and get information...
Aami: With a pleading look. Yes… and if you-

Smartie: Again! And I could use any existing service to do that - that would not exactly be a product!
Aami: Kept quiet for a while - and let him finish. Done? Good, phew! Sir, this would be different - this would be a light-weight application which would have an integrated interface - so that when I, say - Kaushik Mukherjee – peace brother, do not kill a fellow Bong! - I go to a shop and ask for three doses of Insulin - the shopkeeper enters my name and enters the medicine bought - and this connects to that central repository so that even before the medicine can be billed - there might be a message flashed across the screen which says that - 'Kaushik Mukherjee is currently under such and such medication and three-doses of insulin could prove to be potentially harmful to him' - so in this way, we could sell it to every vendor.. We need a system where from the time a person is born - we can store his profile and keep updating it with data - as and when he undergoes treatment...

Smartie: Obviously, in no mood to listen. But do you think it is that easy to get a drug... you need a prescription for it…
Aami: Now where did that come from?! Sir... I could go to a medical shop to buy so many things – ahem, of course! - but not all medicines need to have a prescription.

Imposso: Looked quite disbelieving. No... but for the kind of drugs you are suggesting, you would need prescriptions. Also… it is not that easy... and in any case, how do you think a management degree is going to help you?
Aami: Could I get back in the game? Sir… a management degree would help me understand the many factors affecting a business. Today, I have contributed as a developer and a designer - but to actually run a successful business in a competitive environment - I would not like to be stuck in a desk job. I need to go beyond - and understand the scenarios that leverage the software that we code at our desks - the business and economic factors behind it...

Imposso: The look turned an irritated purple. No... even this empathizing and MBA and all - how will it help in opening your company?
Aami: I was hanging on for dear life. Sir... when we run a company - we deal more with people - we have to bring out the best in the people who work for us - and most of the work would be done by the people who you employ - so it's imperative that we learn to be very responsive to the needs and requirements of people around us- BANG! Interrupted!

Imposso: Shaking his head. No... but that you can do even in your present job - work there for a while - rise up in your company - you'll deal with people, you'll understand the many aspects of your business as well - why a management degree in this school ?
Aami: Sir... thing is - I believe an MBA degree is a two-way exchange. You have to bring your experience with you when you join a school - and learn what you can from the school - use it along with your experience, to gain a competitive edge in the industry. I believe I have the experience - having seen a product almost through it's entire life-cycle... a management course would definitely help me know more about the other aspects of business and running one's own venture.

Imposso: He was shaking violently. Scary, very very scary. No... no... but still - how would an MBA help you ? Why an MBA...?
Aami: I had to stick to my guns. Sir, my motivations for doing an MBA are very different from that of most of the people around me. Most people do an MBA simply because of the herd mentality - because they find people around them doing it. To me, an MBA is more than that - it's a bridge between the present and the future, where I want to be. I'm not one to be swayed by the most lucrative offers - I don't want the highest paying job on campus. I don't want an I-banking job. (Oh boy! This was getting more fantastic by the minute!) I don’t want to do this just for the sake of the money. What I am looking at is leveraging my experience in this field to learn more about running my own company some day...

Imposso: He looked as if he’d found the net to trap me in. But - no no... you say you don't need the money. But you have to agree that money is the - one of the critical factors of any business...
Aami: Yessir - one of the things, all ventures need to start off...

Imposso: With a self-satisfied grin. Yes... so have you thought about the money - the finances, where is it going to come from?
Aami: I felt – ummm… just about 223 kms from home. [:(] Sir, as with most ventures, we would have to convince Venture Capitalists about our plan - we could arrange for a loan - or convince bigger companies or the government to invest in this... Today, most of the software we develop is for exports because that is where money is - in the next ten years, this country will be rich enough to invest in software for health-

Imposso: Cut me for the umpteenth time. But that is just one thing...what do you think are the main problems - or difficulties you might have to overcome.
Aami: Think, boy! Think! Sir - one would definitely need funding to invest in the development of the software - for that we might have to look at an initial investment-

Imposso: No... no... - he was back to his irritated purple - what else - no funding, that is a problem in any line of business.
Aami: For God’s sake – where were we!? Sir - then again, our software would need machines - and since installing a computer would be much easier in urban locations - the first phase of the project might target only a section of the customer base - in rural locations - not only do we need machines, we also need people who can operate these machines. Also... we need to make sure that the process is being done in the right way.

Imposso: So… investment and machines - but all you're talking about is the financial aspect of it… what are the other problems...
Aami: What on earth did he want? Martian attacks!? Sir - we need to follow bundling process - we can bundle the billing and the data entry to mandate the steps involved - for example, in a shop a person might choose to skip entering the details to directly generate the bill, but when we integrate it all in the same application, he has to go through the first step to go through the billing-

Imposso: No... no…no... - Well, you’ll understand it the day you try convincing a Bong - you're not getting it. It is not that easy - what are the other problems you can think about?
Aami: Sir… doctors...I ventured in a rather uncertain tone.

Imposso: Eyes lit up - ah, yes - what doctors...?
Aami: Was that it? Sir, we need doctors - we do not have direct exposure in the health field - so we would need qualified doctors to develop a repository of drugs and medicines...

Imposso: Crossface! But why do you need a doctor for that...
Aami: HEEELP!!! Sir, we need both people from medicine and the pharma industry to store data about medicines, their effects-

Smartie: Decided to sock a few from his side. Do you know that individual hospitals already have a database where every detail about their patients is stored... and that they use it...
Aami: I wanna go home! Sir, I know that - but as of today - they exist in isolation. Although, it might sound unthinkable at first, we could come up with a system with connects all the hospitals and medical centres across the country.

Smartie: With a decidedly intellectual look. Have you heard about 'Doctor-patient confidentiality' ...?

Now, I was taken aback by this - we had started on a note about entrepreneurship being a long-term goal and these guys had taken me for one helluva ride. I decided to let him continue...

Smartie: The medical history of any patient is confidential and with the doctor whom he consults... how can that be made public?
Imposso: Adds to the symphony. Only that I was the one who was facing the music. See... for such a long time, you described your plan - but you did not mention this 'doctor-patient confidentiality' - apparently very happy at this new term he found - even once...
Aami: I was tired – bruised and battered. Sir, at this point I have not thought out all aspects of my business plan - in fact education… sorry, health sector (?) was just one of the ideas...and I was trying to give a possible scope where I could launch a venture...

Imposso: With that dissatisfied look, his face seemed to be permanently set in. No..no.. but I'm not convinced. You don't seem to have thought of all the issues relating to your business plan...
Aami: Oh, man – gimme a break, it's not like I'm gonna start my company tommo. Sir, but I was trying to give you an insight into what I thought might be a lucrative sector to launch a venture in... as of today, it's difficult to predict otherwise...

Imposso: As pointed as it could get. But how do we know that you actually mean all these things - and are not saying these things just for the heck of it - teaching ballroom dances - how will that help in opening a company...by when did you say you would like to launch your venture ?
Aami: Dances?!? Where’d that come from?! Sir... preferably by the time I'm 32-33.

Imposso: No - but you don't seem to have thought through the plan... fully (nodding a strong disapproval)
Aami: Dead man talking. Sir...it's not like this is a definite business plan - it was more of an example I was trying to furnish - I mentioned education - err... I did it a second time! - health, I mean - and I was trying to give you an example of how we could implement something-

Imposso: This was no way nearing its end. No... why don't you go into I-banking ?
Aami: Officer, lemme go..!!! Sir, simply because it is not in line with what I would like to do in the long run. I would like to use my present experience in the field-

Imposso: Smirks. Do you know what is i-banking...?
Aami: Yes, thank you very much! Humph! Sir… you do 'Finance' (oops! too casual a start) and get into one of the I-banks. Their primary role is in advising corporate bodies about their investments - mergers and acquisitions - for example, in case they want to raise capital through private equity issue, etc. Also they usually charge a fee of 0.5% to 5% of the transaction value and as a sign of affirmation - they also invest a small portion of their own money in the investment option that they recommend.

Imposso: Suddenly switches tracks. Hmmmm...do you have any role models - as in people whom you look up to ?
Aami: Brain-dead. Sir, could I ask one question - is this related to someone whom I know personally, or could it be anyone whom I know...

Imposso: Non-commital. No… no.... someone who you know something about
Aami: This was weird - I had prepared a Richard Branson - now could I pitch his name forward - no, must be someone personally related to me - who ? Mom! but they wouldn't find any link to my darned business plan - which seem to be the flavour of the day. Dad ?! Hmmm... lemme see. Sir - I would mention my father. Simply because he himself quit his job in the middle and launched a venture of his own - unfortunately that did not work out - and I have seen him through the entire phase of ups and downs and how he sustained through it - and got back into the service industry after that. Even though his own venture did not click, he never dissuaded me from trying to do my own thing.

Imposso: Inexhaustible!!! No... give me an example of something successful - you're saying this didn't work out..
Aami: Enough, I had to interrupt! Sir, it's not that. The fact that inspite of things not working out, he has discussed all that went wrong with me - so that I do not make the same mistakes - and actually learn from them. That says quite a bit.

At this point, I think he got a little wary about the fact the interview had taken a very personal turn - and he couldn't push me beyond a point. Smart-n-wily thing that he turned out to be, he decided to switch tracks.

Imposso: Okay - no... someone else - tell me about someone else who you look up to...
Aami: I decided to pause for a while. Not only did I look like I was thinking - I actually was ! Okay - Mr.Branson, this is where you come to my rescue. Well, Sir - if I can include people who I have not met personally but have inspired me - I would like to mention Sir Richard Branson-

Imposso: Jumped at my throat. Richard Branson- what do you know about Richard Branson?
Aami: What now?! Sir, as I mentioned earlier - my knowledge of him is limited to what has been published about him - but yes, inspite of all the media-bashing he attracts because of his unconventional methods - there are some characteristics of his which have definitely made an impression on me. After all, he started with a Record Mail Order company - and from there expanded into the entire Virgin empire. His theory of recycling the money to start a new venture proved to be very beneficial...

Smartie: Back with a bang! But this money - where did he get the money? It is after all the public's money right?
Aami: Preposterous assumptions! No sir, when he launched his Mail Order company, it was funded by a loan from the bank. It was only later when he branched into his airlines business that he decided to go for a public offer of shares... His theory was not to let the profits from any business lie idle - he always had a new plan to make his money work harder for him - so with the profits, he kept expanding his business. What was his Record Mail order company - expanded to Airlines, Books, etc.

Smartie: Not to be outdone - Yes... but to open Virgin airlines, he used the who's money? [mind you, in bonglish - this is perfectly permissible] public money - so don't you think he would have some responsibility towards his shareholders... so should he spend all the money from the airlines to launch new businesses ?
Aami: Talk my language, baby! Sir - I would say that instead of adopting any one path - what one should do is - return a bit of the profits as dividends, so as to retain the shareholder loyalty - and the rest of the profits could either be re-invested in the same business or used to launch a new venture. Also, if we used the entire profits to payout a hefty dividend, the shareholders might read it as the end of a bull-run for the share and book their profits. This could lead to them selling their shares. Rather than that, if we use a bit of the profits to invest-

Imposso: Upper jab. There... you're talking about investing. And then you say you do not want to be in I-banking?!
Aami: Okay, so I was Pinnochio and he was ‘puppeting’ me for all he was worth! Sir, I was talking about investing in the business or launch a business - it would all be under the Virgin umbrella, so people would either stick to the share or even if they shift to some other branch of the Virgin business, it would be under the same roof.

Smartie: Hmmmm... Kaushik - you seem to have a LOT of extra-curriculars - swimming, teaching western ballroom dances... playing the sitar, kung-fu - although you didn't mention the last one, I noticed that in your folder...

Woah - sharp! That was impressive. But I guess when you see a “semi-japanese-fonted” certificate with an orange dragon on it - chances are that you would remember it. He continued… finally one aspect where I could seek some solace.

Smartie: ...long-distance biking.... online share trading (looks up) - although I don't know how that is an extra-curricular...
Aami: (It was a bait, of course - would they finally ask me about the markets?!) Sir, it's a hobby - a pastime. Not an extra-curricular.

Smartie: So what is it that you are currently involved in... which of these activities ?
Aami: The usual routine. Sir... as far as swimming goes - I haven't been doing much of it in Hyderabad - I mainly did it during my college days when I was a part of the BITS team that took part in the district-level championship where we won the gold-

Imposso: I think he lived to interrupt me! yes... but what are you involved in these days !?
Aami: Drat - me and my big mouth. I did it again.. I thought for a split second - what do I say? Karate ? - nopes, they'll kill me - how does karate relate to your business plan ! [:D] I decided to play safe. Sir, I'm a part of the Oracle music band, Trisha - I'm the lead vocalist and I play the sitar and although I'm not the drummer, I do know how to play the drums as well.

Smartie: Hmmm… thinks for a while – okay, so what are the different kinds of...

What ?! Music ?! Drums ?! Sitars !??! Raags?!

Smartie: Swimming strokes ?
Aami: I tell - you ask a swimmer this question - and it's actually insulting. What the heck - you're asking a swimmer the styles? Sir, there are four primary styles - the freestyle, the backstroke - the butterfly and the breast-stroke. Besides this there is an unofficial 'crawl' stroke - which is what most of the newcomers learn first - it helps them get a feel of things before learning the other strokes.

Imposso: Oh, his penchant for off-track questions! ....okay – the swimming pools in India, do you have any ‘plan’ which could improve their conditions and the infrastructure?

I was dumbstruck. Apoplexy – at it’s worst, and I could not shake it out. How on earth was I expected to answer that? I looked distinctively at discomfort.

Imposso: Broke into a grin – oh that’s okay, you don’t have to make up a plan if you don’t have one… - unfair – Goddamit, unfair!!! - what is India's tally in the commonwealth Games?
Aami: Yes... yes... man, yes - the medals tally had just happened to catch my eye while I was waiting my turn outside. Sir...12 (or was it 8 - I decided to stick to 12) - India is currently third in the list (obviously, feeling very happy with myself)

Smartie: Grins. Is this the medals tally or the gold tally?
Aami: Eeeks! It was the gold tally - and that guy had asked me the medals tally - save situation! Sir, I'm, sorry - it's the Gold tally I was talking about.

Imposso: So - do you have any questions-

And this is exactly when I interrupted him. DAMN ! VERY VERY BAD THING TO DO.

Aami: Roobish. Most of the medals came from shooting and power-lifting...

And that drowned the 'any questions' question - I waited and looked at Imposso. Willing him to ask the question again...He didn't. Damn - I missed it. The only time any panel had asked me the question - and I had actually prepared two pretty sharp questions…

I was losing time. They were looking at each other - that look, which usually comes 5 seconds before they nod their heads in unison and mutter the 'thank you'. Should I bring up the topic - should I push and say that "I have a question" - should I barge in and say - "Sir, I think you just asked me if I had a question"

Think, Kaushik - decide. Okay, one of the questions was regarding entrepreneurial cells in IIM-B : I decided to chuck it – I’d had enough entrepreneurial talk to last me a while. The other question – IBP, International Business in Practice… should I? shouldn't I?

I had to take a call. I decided against it. A quick lookback said it all. Over the course of the last 20 minutes, I had been pretty assertive, if not forceful altogether - and I decided against forcing myself into another conversation. Things had not gone off as smooth as they should have, but I had stood my ground. Things were OK.

Sometimes, you just have to let go. It's not satisfactory, but you know when you HAVE to. I relented. As the customary thank-you’s signaled the end of my spate of interviews and I walked out to the questioning faces of the remaining applicants – I knew it was all over.

Now, the wait would begin.

In retrospect

If you’ve reached this far – I thank you, and just so that I know who has been this patient with my pensive ramblings - I’d request you to leave a comment. As a rule, I do not blog – simply because some of what I write is too private a shade of me to paint the town in. This is where I would draw ‘bedraggled’ to a close. The verdicts of course, would be updated as and when they are available…. Of late, there have been times when the odd well-wisher, the long-lost friend pitched in with a – ‘Hey! I’m gonna need you to guide me through the CAT maze pretty soon’. This gets me thinking - they’re unique in their own individual manner, each more deserving than the other, each with loads of talent in them to contribute to the lucky few who come across them. Unfortunately, we’re still in the collective. What is then that one thing that puts you miles ahead of the rest? I remember the time I first scribbled these words on the inner page of my Class XII school diary – the Commonwealth ’98 Games motto – ‘Aspiration leads to Motivation, Motivation leads to Determination – and that’s how new stars are born’.

Some things, they say - simply do not change with time. I agree.

Sing for the Moment

It's just sex and violence,
Melody and silence...

- Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve

Verdict : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-C : Cruise control...

2006-03-24T04:13:00.000-08:00

Home sweet home! Well… to be honest, it wasn’t Calcutta – nor was it my bachelor pad @ good ‘ol Hyderabad, but getting back to the familiar comfort of Bangalore was a relief. It had been a long week and with XL and FMS safely (and if I may add, hazardously) dealt with, there was just the IIM-C to go. Ironically, it was also the most arduous and important bit of my trip. Arduous – simply because it was the only place where I knew that the process would span over two days. And important it was - for more reasons than one. Not only did it feature in the top three… but I’m also reasonably sure that my mum would be all too thrilled if I landed up over there. The campus being a mere 30 min ride from home, of course.

Oh by the way, even in the middle of all this – I managed to lose my driving license. It’s a different thing that it had expired last December, but till date I haven’t been able to make up my mind as to whether it was Chennai or Delhi where I had taken it out of my wallet. Why?! You would ask me. Well – I warned you… I hate unnecessary bulges and I had to jettison more than half of all the junk that had mysteriously crept into the many folds of my wallet. Well, at least I did manage to get rid of the weird-potato-bulge on the back of my trousers! A new license [:o] – jeez! And they’ll tie a red-‘L’ on my Karizma, hand me a lollipop and ask me to make a figure of eight!!! Hyyuck!

Back to business – and I knew I had just one day to brush up all the Maths I could manage. They called it the ATM – the Aptitude Test in Mathematics, a one hour paper on specific student-unfriendly, hostile and difficult topics which is meant to test your affinity for the wrong kinds of figures and numbers. Apparently, this is to gauge your suitability for the PGDCM course, a separate management course offered by this institution with a special emphasis on software/systems related subjects. So much for the 98+ %-ile in the Quant section! L But then, even in your darkest hours – you’ll find your angel if you pray really hard. In this case, it was my IMS mentor-guide-counselor-friend, Sailaja. Believe it or not – she got me those easy-to-learn AP State board level I & II Maths texts, from which I did most of my Matrices & Probability revision! Actually in retrospect, it was her and another gem of a tutor-friend Bhaveen (English)... Over the past twelve months they managed to push, prod and motivate me into giving in my best for the entire process. Priceless, if you ask me.

March 13th, 2006 : My IIM-Calcutta interview @ Bangalore

Amongst the many things that you have to keep fighting when you know that the finishing line is not too far away, is complacency. I was lucky, I guess. The one hour that I spent on Sunday the 12th – trying to rack whatever little was left of my brains and solve the 33 questions that were staring back at me in the form of the ATM paper, was an eye-opener. As a rule, I try not to guess. For some strange reason, even after all the probabilistic and deterministic encouragement I could lure myself with – I always landed on the wrong side of the moon. For me – a 3/4th probability of my guess boomeranging back onto me, always turned into 1. And as for copying, I stopped doing that after one fateful day in BITS Pilani when I virtually photocopied my neighbour’s answer sheet – only to realize later that 1 and 2 at the top-right corner of the page were not page misprints – but darned different sets! Time’s up – and I manage 18 attempts spread over matrices, probability, time-speed-distance, the works!!! Okay, let me be honest 16 attempts and 2 educated guesses! Old habits die hard! [:o]

Out in the sun – and I hear figures. 26 attempts… then 29… then there were even 31 – and the average seemed to be well above twenty. The matter-of-fact way in which the others around me seemed to be discussing the fact of the matter – unnerved the hell outta me! What was I thinking? Here I was… with a hundred others who had smashed the CAT quant bouncer over the stadium for a Dhoni-Six – I was trying to play marbles with them! I decided to make a beeline for Koramangala. Tomorrow, would be a different contest – and I vowed to fire all cylinders. Oh well, hopefully!

Day of the lucky 13th…

Reality, as well as the sun – took too long a while to dawn on me. The good news being that my interview was at two in the afternoon. The bad news – Attestation woes! Although I had carefully attested my certificates, I had never really gone through the IIM-C interview form! I know – bad me [:(]. Apparently, the form needed to be attested as well. The day before had been a Sunday – no luck, whatsoever. Having woken up at nine and taken the next five minutes to risk-analyze the fact that I had just 5 hours to get my certificates attested from somewhere in Bangalore and hit the scene, I spurred myself onto action. Ninety minutes, and it really did take that long! A mobile wreck of PPTs, Gillette, headlines, towels, CherryBlossom shoe-shine - as unenviable as it could ever get! But the certs? I had to take a chance – I decided to head straight for IIM-B.

After pacing the corridors of IIM-B for nearly forty-minutes, I finally managed to get my interview form and certificates attested by none other than the Administrative Officer of IIM-B, himself! A good Samaritan named Sirajuddin who wished me luck for the day’s trials. Hmmm, the day seemed to have started off on a good note – I thought to myself, as I rounded the last turn which led to the IIM-Calcutta interviewees.

As I walked up to the pillar where the list of participants and their panels had been put up, I noticed my name under the list which read ‘Panel I’. Something, though – did not seem right at first glance. One… two… four… seven… nine…. ELEVEN ?! Eleven people – in my panel? In a flash, the whole FMS experience came back to me – all that commotion and chaos and minutes of pointless sparring with no conclusion and- NO! I stopped myself. That was different. This was IIM-Calcutta and I could not, even in the slightest way let this slip. Before long, a soft-spoken gentleman of about forty-five and with a decisively Bong look stepped up to check on us. An initial round of calling out the names revealed that the 11th member of our panel had decided to give this interview a pass. Hmmm… better – but only mildly so. Now there were ten of us… and Oh! NO!!!!!!!! – I was the tenth of the lot! No escape, this time. As I slowly resigned to my fate and readied myself for the scene where I’d be the forlorn candidate standing amongst the shadows awaiting my turn in the guillotine, we were summoned inside for our Group Discussion. It was time for the party to begin!

Their Majesty – the jury…

As we stepped inside the room, the first thing I noticed was that there were three of them. Somehow, after the ‘A’ and the ‘XL’ experience I had begun getting used to three-member panels. Of course, maybe two would have been better – but now was not the time to deliberate on speculation. It was the time to survive.

Coatman – There is something very important and urgent about a man who is suited for an occasion as this. Of course, I wouldn’t count some of the sweaty-palmed interviewees who decided to use their blazers – as an armour, I guess – against the barrage of questions that they were about to face. But a fair, elderly and well-spoken gentleman who carried it off with enough panache… yes you would mind your p’s and q’s in front of him.

Bongman – and trust me, you could make that out even before he said a word. For one – he seemed to be the one who was in charge of the proceedings. He spoke slowly, his speech impregnated with deliberate pauses – and as I would come to know later could scrutinize well, and debate – even better!

Admini – I will call him so, because for the better part of the entire process he was involved in some administrative work or the other. If he wasn’t verifying your score-sheets, then he’d be making a note of them in his own records – in fact, I guess he must have thought of me as a pretty interesting subject to cross-examine, that he took a quick break to pitch in a few bouncers of his own!

Bongman: Good afternoon, everyone…(short pause) And welcome to IIM-Calcutta’s second round of selection…..(long pause)….You know the rules…. We will give you a topic - you will have 3…4…5...minutes – (short pause)…you will have enough time - to think over it - and then... we will tell you - you will start discussion - and the discussion will last for a maximum of 15 minutes - maybe 15… maybe less - but everybody will have ample time to speak...and then you will have one minute - we will call out your names in a random order - and you will have to summarize, the discussion.

A-ha! I thought to myself, this was about to be my first Group Discussion where I would have to summarize… interesting!

Bongman: Your topic is - please note it down - 'Democracy demoralizes....'

Ten heads looked down busily into their notepads and scribbled down these two words. And there we were looking at him expectantly... waiting for the next word of the topic…

Bongman: I'll repeat that again… Wtf?.... 'Democracy demoralizes.'

And that was all?! It suddenly hit us out of the blue that those two words were probably all that there was to the topic – and time was already beginning to run away. A good thing – the fact that the FMS group circus which was not even 48 hours old had also dealt with democracy, albeit in a different avatar – but even as I thought of this, I had already begun jotting down my points in the standard 3-column structure.

Partners in Crime…

Start!

What?! Already ? Wait a sec… should I? But the guy on the other end of the table with over five years of work-ex was off in a flash!

Uh-oh – too late! Okay – plan ‘B’, second to break in. And once I had eased my way in – it actually turned out to one of the best group discussions I have ever had in my lifetime. There were examples, too many of them - pros and cons - 'of the people, for the people, by the people'. Somebody pitched in with a comparison of democracy with other ruling systems such as patriarchy, oligarchy and the like. On a personal front, I re-iterated a couple of my FMS points - the largest democracy, India vis-a-vis the wealthiest democracy, U.S. both successful models, but in India we followed more of a 'bottom-up' approach than a 'top-down' approach. The various levels of bureaucracy, where corruption has a chance of creeping in - the various stages of approval which might be needed to pass the simplest of laws, these were discussed in detail.

One of the more attention-grabbing points, I happened to churn out was about the State Assembly elections in West Bengal - where this time, unlike that past - there promises to be a lot of interest - the Left parties versus TrinaMool Congress - and the UPA in the middle. Such that no matter which party eventually ends up winning, the UPA will be in the middle - mentioned that it wasn't a 'happy’ situation to be in. Yes, I realized it – the minute I uttered it. Happy!? This was another one of the SMS-Mail generation virtues…I suspect!

Funnily enough – even while all this was going on, our very own Bongman was actually patrolling around the room, making it a point to note everybody’s expressions. There were about three-four of the group who didn’t speak much – but the rest of us were having the perfect GD – cordial, responsive and in fact, accommodative as well! Once, when one of the more reticent types tried to push his point forward, we actually stepped back and let him have his say. Ah! And I was fearing another FMS [:o] God is good!

And just for the record - ideas were still flying all over the room! [:)] China… to New Zealand... in the middle, I put across my point of FDI and privatization and how economic liberalization faces a challenge in this coalition government - the votebank politics that are foremost in the minds of all the politicians, it impairs the reform process. God! I was actually sounding like a politician on a compaigning spree! In fact, the group spent quite a while discussing this vague ‘reform process black-box’, lol!!! Yet another fact - Mentioned that the Indian middle-class in 300 million and more than the entire population of the USA - which led to President Bush acknowledging the fact that India was a better example of democracy than US was. Man! We were on a roll!

I had a minor slip-up in the middle when I decided to put forward the case of the UPA government carrying out a census of the number of Muslims in the Indian army… somehow, I realized it after saying it - that maybe religion wasn’t the best way to go. I switched tracks and the point was never brought up again. Phew!

Our heady discussion was brought to a sharp end by the single tap of a pen.

Admini: Thank you! That will be all… ‘X’ can you summarize the group’s discussion, please.

And then started a long and winding process of summarizing the GD - where then ten of us had our names called in a random order. Well, maybe not that random as well! The order had an uncanny feel of shifting from the one who spoke the least to I guess, the one who participated the most – and quick check with some of the other groups after we exited the room, confirmed the theory. And yes, I was the last one to be asked in my group. [:)] In all modesty, I thought the GD went off really well. In fact, one of the guys I met there – Shreekrishna, was even asked in his interview about whom he thought performed the best in the group discussion and how much he would rate him. Wonder of wonders! He actually mentioned my name and gave me a 9/10. He, truly was… Godsent! Well – it’s a different that when asked to rate himself, he pegged an over-modest ‘4’... which, of course I would not agree with.

Last Man Standing...

The minute-hand of my Swatch arced one 360 after another, as one-by-one everybody had turn in the fire. It was a long wait – the longest I have ever waited for an interview. Well, I did end up making a few good friends! Well - finally, the 9th candidate stepped out and I inched towards the door – waiting to be called in. Suddenly – Bongman stepped out! And started walking away… Hey?! Heyyy !?!? I’m still left !!!How could they forget-

Ah…. “loo break”! Another few minutes, I guess – oh well I thought to myself, as Bongman crossed me on his way. He saw me gong through the budget-special edition of Businessworld - Sorry, you're having to wait really long…

Huh?! Oh – he was talking to me! It took me completely by surprise – the words, the humbleness in the tone… I managed to mumble a - ‘Yes Sir...no problem though’

As he passed, I looked down and thought… Stupid answer! I should have said something else. Maybe broken the ice with a witty remark or something!

I started thinking of what could have been an appropriate response. In the meanwhile Coatman and Admini had come over for their li'loo trip, as well. As they passed me by - on their way back to the room - Coatman turned to me and said - Quite a long wait for you…

Err…Yessir! Damn it – the second opportunity to strike an informal chord before the actual grilling and I had blown it again! What on earth- then it struck me! The Indore scenario suddenly flashed up before me - chatting with Alaap, with half-a-marie biscuit concealed in my mouth, when they decided to summon me – me, originally the 5th out of the 6. Okay – done then, I decided. Next time, this would have to be it. Mind you – this oughtto go down in history as a Class ‘A’ act of courage – using one’s past misery to one’s advantage… lol!

As Admini called me into the room, finally – I purposefully walked up to the seat. All I needed was a decent interview. Bongman was already there at the panel and as the others walked in to their places - Coatman decided to start the conversation.

Coatman: Must be horrible to be the last one in the group, isn't it?
Myself: Yes...but Sir – I could help smiling - its better than being called in for an interview when you least expect it. In an earlier experience, I was 5th and much to my surprise, I was asked to go in first, when I was least prepared.

Coatman nodded in acknowledgement. There… done it! The air seemed more casual, now. Hah!

Bongman: So...you're working? How long?
Myself: I love my work! It gives me loads to talk about in interviews! Yessir - with Oracle...I've been with them for the past one-and-a half years. Actually a little more than that – about 20 months.

Bongman: And you did your engineering from?
Myself: Sir, BITS Pilani. (and I’m proud of it, baby!!! Err… though I admit – I wouldn’t be too sure if the equations were turned the other way around!)

Bongman: So, why do you want to do this? You're in a nice software job...doing well. I see you've got a pretty streamlined profile - why leave all this to join IIM-Calcutta?
Myself: Why? Are you kidding me? After all that slogging for CAT?! I decided to play my usual tune. Sir, to me a ‘management degree’ – is more than just a degree - its the bridge between the present and the future I see for myself. My long term objective is to launch a venture of my own - sometime in my early thirties.. As of the present day, I have contributed as a developer in the software industry - having been through almost an entire product life cycle, I realize the need to get a bird's-eye level view of the system…

Bongman: What view?!
Myself: Uh-oh… you know someday I should sincerely stop throwing words around! Ummm... Sir, a holistic view of the industry...I contended.

Myself: I was brought into this team at its formative stages - so I've been through the stages of requirements gathering from the clients, designing the functional and technical model - that project is slated for a May 2006 closure - (now, what I didn’t realize then was that I was shuffling between two conscious streams of answers - and mucking up both - mixture of my ‘why mba’ and my ‘job profile’. As usual though, my face put on a terrific expression of being 120% convinced about whatever I was uttering) Given my long-term goals, I need to do more than just develop - I need to understand the scenarios that leverage the software that we make - the business and economic factors involved - and for that I know that I cannot be stuck to a desk-job.

Bongman: Apparently – it wasn’t half as convincing as I hope it would be. No...but I don't understand.. You're in software now – (long pause) - in our course, we do not teach only software - it a lot of general courses. (Looong pause) Say, for example Admini would teach human ethics, I might teach you economics and Coatman here might teach you finance... so how is all this going to help you.... (Pause – I tried breaking in – but was cut off. Apparently the soliloquy still had a couple of lines to finish…) You could stay within the organization and learn all that you want to learn - rise up the ranks in your field.
Myself: Sir - my interests lie in running a software company - and not just developing it. For this, I need to understand the various factors which affect my long-term objective - a company would not only deal with developing the code - and we can always get people to do that bit - a company would mean... its HR, as you talked about human ethics.... its finances, its business impacts - and many other factors which would help me run a successful venture in a competitive environment...

Man…. I was weaving a fable around the situation and using the very strands that the panel had supplied me with. After all, very soon – I would reach a point where I would run out of arguments and justifications.

Bongman: But no... see even if you want a 'birds eye view' - you are going to end up diluting what you have built up over the years... ( and this very thought process stretched into another insanely long question… I had no option but to wait for him to finish)
Myself: Sir... but there's one thing here - what could be otherwise perceived as dilution could actually be used as an advantage-

Bongman: It was as if he had suddenly seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes... yes, tell me - what advantage?
Myself: Uh-oh… now what had I landed myself in! Sir, ultimately I would not be building software for the software industry - I would have to write it for some other field... so getting an exposure in all the fields would not be dilution, it would help me understand them better. Today - the software sector caters to sectors that are saturated - we need diversity and creativity to make a mark and survive...

Bongman: Creativity? (gives a disbelieving laugh)...You know I would really like to see you do it. Quitting your job, when you have the best of offers... and then start a company - and how would it help the country anyways?
Myself: Woah! So now it had come to challenging my idea on my face – I had no option. I had to stick by it. Oh Sir.. but I am pretty positive that we can make a difference. Right now... most of the software we build are for foreign customers - in about ten years time, India will be rich enough to buy the software they produce - there would be sectors such as… say, health and education - which could benefit immensely by investing in softwares... and these would indeed make a difference even to the lives of the poorest sections of the society.

Bongman: It looked as if he was thinking about something – about whether he should go on with the debate or not. He looked straight at me, and with a dissatisfied nod, said - Well...okay, but I just want you to know that I do not agree with you.

Now, in situations like these there isn’t much you can do really. There’ll be a part of you that’ll want to retrace every step you took that did not go down well with your audience – but too late, once a stand is taken, the best you can do is be convinced and stick by it. I pursed my lips and made a face as if I regretted the fact that he didn't seem convinced, but I really wasn't willing to budge from the theory I had so convincingly cooked up for myself.

Bongman: (turning to the Admini) You wanna take over ?

Admini: (Who was busy flipping through my attested education certificate copies all this while… suddenly found a new toy!) Uh... yes - You said.. how many years work-ex again?
Myself: Sir, a little over one and half years - twenty months at Oracle IDC, Hyderabad. Hey, I’d already mentioned this earlier!

Admini – in meanwhile was focusssing hard on the part of my interview form where I had written my work-ex details. His eye brows furrowed into question marks, his face screwed up in shades of doubt - he was busy doing mental math - and then… finally, the muscles relented.

Admini: Ah…. yes, that is 18 months. Dude! [:o] So, Hyderabad.... and you're from Calcutta - tell me the differences - from what you have observed within these two cities.
Myself: Okay… not a prepared one – but manageable. Sir... firstly Calcutta is a metropolitan city and has been a important city of the map of India for quite a while now whereas Hyderabad has made its presence over the past few years. Again, a lot of it has been because of good governance - and a willingness to invest in infrastructure… I had to shift to keywords – investment, FDI - and a willingness to let companies invest by granting them land and other facilities. This is one thing that is missing in Calcutta - as they are very wary about opening up the city for foreign investment. Well done, Kaushik! That is one reason why probably, barring Wipro - we would not find many software ginats in Calcutta - it is a pro-labour Union set-up which is not exactly the thing which works for a software company setup - where we are bound by timelines...

Admini: Decides to cut me short. So you think its a good thing to work for 18 hours in a day ?
Myself: Uh-oh… maybe I carried that one a bit too far. Sir, that is not what I'm trying to say - different companies have different work cultures - some work on a strict nine-to-six basis and whereas others, like ours - work on a flexible timings, but irrespective of that - project deadlines cannot be compromised on because of labour union strikes - because more often than not we are bound by foreign hand. A disruption in the work force would truly ‘ring the death-knell' of any company.

God!!! – what is with me! – and over-dramatization of the English language, every now and then!

Admini: Okay... so tell us a little bit about your extra-curricular interests and hobbies...
Myself: Wow! This was the best part of any interview! Sir.. would you like to have a look at the file.. (I lifted the file from my lap on to the table..) of certificates...

Admini: Umm... no no - you can tell me - that'll be fine.
Myself: Damn! Must’ve come across as the over-excited-about-extra-curriculars brat! When will I learn! (A little disappointed...) Sir, I was a part of the University Swimming team at BITS. I was also a member of the Dance Club and taught classical ballroom dances to over four batches of students. At Oracle... I am a part of the Toastmaster's Club - and a part of the office band, Trisha. We have given three live performances over the past 2 years. (Well… it’s a different thing that I wasn’t exactly a part of all the three shows… oh well – two sides of the same coin !!!)

Coatman: Now, for some reason - this peaks his interest. From being the silent observer all this while, to stepping right into the thick of things. My interview was about to get a shot of steroids!! Really...What do you play? Can I have a look at that folder of yours?
Myself: Awrite! Now this guy had to be my favourite! Sir... I am the lead vocalist in the band. However I do play the drums and have had formal classical training in the sitar for over six years. (Simultaneously, I handed over the file...)

Coatman: So where did you find the time to do all of this...?
Myself: Gee… I never really did what I should have done, Sir – study! But I decided to save that answer for another interview - :) Sir... I've done these at different phases in my life - and I would say that they have been really important in maintaining a balance between work and life beyond.

Coatman: Hmmmm... so do you get to swim now ? These days at work...
Myself: I was beginning to enjoy this. Sir... not much. Swimming was mostly in the college days.

Coatman: So how do you manage to keep fit? Do you exercise..?
Myself: At that point – trust me, I felt good enough to go jogging with him the next morning! Sir.. I used to till about four or five months back...and then... (made a sub-conscious effort of stiffening my posture in a funny kinda way – anything, to give some credibility to the fact that this bag-of-bones, at one time – did exercise.. lol !)

Coatman: Decides to play fill in the blanks. And then.. you gave it up to prepare for CAT and all this.
Myself: Well, it wasn’t really untrue… I gave a sheepish grin. Yes sir, I had to give it a break to focus on this.

All this while.....Coatman keeps flipping through the leaves of my file...and then suddenly lands on one ornate certificate that catches his eye...

Coatman: And football also? One word to describe his look – incredulous.
Myself: Uhhh…. (I was a little unsure of which one he was referring to and my best guess was that it was the XII class Super-A school division footer)... Sir, I think it’s the XII one you're... (and then I trailed off - oops ! He had landed on the ISB cert – one of participating in a BITS Alumni versus ISB match. What next?!) Oh that one was more of an initiative than a match - it was between the BITS Pilani Alumni Association and the present batch of ISB - I was a part of the organizing committee..

Coatman: ISB...Hmmmm... I knew what was coming next! So are you considering that as well..?
Myself: Thing is – over the past few minutes, I had developed a healthy rapport with him and I could not risk it – I had to be true. No Sir, I haven't applied to ISB. I did attend an information session and I did not think it suited my profile - and moreover, it was not what I was looking for in a b-school at this point in my life.

Coatman: He was hanging on to every word I was saying. And why would you say that ?
Myself: (Okay, firstly ISB guys no offence... ask me this question some other time.... but now - it was survival of the slickest) Sir - the ISB would typically be more suited to people with over 4-5 years of work-ex... also those who have missed the opportunity to do an MBA earlier in their life. With a major part of the batch being made up of people with increasing years of experience - a person in my shoes would probably end up investing the same amount, but losing out on the placements. Moreover, I don’t think one can learn all that there is to learn, in a 1-yr course…

Coatman: Yes, but their logic for that would be squeezing the number of hours into a smaller time frame. You know - some 600 plus hours. no holidays.... one straight stretch of about fourteen months or so.
Myself: I was about to correct him - 673 hours in 12 months, but checked myself. It would have clearly given away my interest in ISB!!! Also... I think 1-year is not enough to network, grow and gain a strong foothold in the field we specialize in.

Coatman: Hmmmmm.... but I must say, this folder of yours is very impressive. Very good, I must say.
Myself: WOAH! What a pleasant surprise.. I was so unprepared for this, it took a second longer to settle in. I don’t know how – somehow, I managed to keep a modest straight face. Thank you, Sir.

Coatman: So you were mentioning that you had attended some other interviews... what were they? What calls did you have ?
Myself: Sir - I had calls from all the six IIMs - (decided to stick to the modest look –it couldn’t have been more plain) - I have Bangalore next week. i am done with the others..

Coatman: Hmmm… so L-A-K-I... you're done with these. Okay - Kaushik (and having said that, he suddenly pried his fingers open to give a side-shot like one of those skimpy starving Channel V anchors. I was flabbergasted. WHAT?) - tell me TWO... (and he waved the ‘V’ of his fingers very emphatically) two things about yourself, which will make me go ... 'WoW!!!' - 2 things.
Myself: OMG! Where had I landed myself - now what? This was getting more interesting by the minute. I took about 5 seconds to look around and do the intelli-thinking act. Hey, I had to buy time! Sir… I guess I would consider my ability to 'perform-under-pressure' as one of things - my strengths.

Having said that, I shifted my gaze across the panel, to include them all in the next sentence I was about to utter - I was going to be an important one.

Myself: Sir, you see - to be honest, I have never been a 'first-boy' of sorts - but what I did was set goals for myself, worked my way towards them and got to them... It's not easy when people do not expect you to get there - circumstances change, friends change...the pressures change.. (and all too soon I found myself drifting into the slipstream of the past years... I had to stop... STOP!!!] - but it’s a nice feeling when you can brave all that and reach to where you thought you were capable of. I - I would consider that as the first point. Secondly... (okay now what!... I paused for a second or two..) I would mention my ability of being able to empathize with others around me - putting myself in another's shoes and seeing things from their point of view. Sometimes people we interact go through different patches and see things from a very different perspective - times like these we need to understand the situation and communicate with them in the language that they would want to be communicated in (whatever that meant!!!) In my past, this is one thing which has helped me in dealing with my friends in college, colleagues at work... and others... (I trailed off…)

What a whole lot of gibberish !!!

Coatman: Okay... Kaushik - so how do you think you are performing now - you know we're all performing over here. The others who were here before you - so how do you think you're doing?
Myself: Man, this gentleman was turning out to be one helluvan interviewer! Sir...(I began..on an unsure note) I think I am giving in my best...and trying to-

Coatman: Cuts me short. No… I want you to rate yourself. How do you think you're performing in right now ?
Myself: Hmmm…. I felt my brain – or whatever remained being prodded, poked, tested and pushed into overdrive! Sir...I... think I am doing okay... I'm doing good. I nodded emphatically, as if that would go to show my conviction in what I said. Sheesh – the things I do!

Coatman: Hmmmm.... okay Kaushik - you said that you're good at empathizing. Now consider a situation where you step out of the situation you are in right now... and say, step into….my shoes - what do you think is going on through my mind... (even as he said this, a smug patronizing smile spread across his face..)
Myself: Now, honestly – I don’t know how any of you would have reacted to this question – a beamer, aimed straight for the jugular? Quite frankly, I somehow found this in good humour – and decided to play along. Well Sir.... I think you have had a long day.... - (and I could see slow smiles spreading across the faces of Bongman and Admini... even as they pretended to be busy in other stuff) - and this being only the very first day of the interviews - you would have a fair idea in your mind as to what your decision regarding me is - so I guess you would take the next few minutes to ask a few questions to clear the remaining doubts, doubts about taking me in - and doubts against taking me in.

HERE is where I should have stopped, but I never do..... as you would surely know by now :) I decided to push it a little bit.

Myself: I don't think you would ask me these questions directly - you would probably find out the answer in an indirect manner. What a load of garbage from Soothsayer Kaushik!!!

Coatman: He was looking at me very pointedly – the grin unmasked. Okay Kaushik – what if I tell you that I have already made up by mind about you. What would you think I have decided…?
Myself: Death-trap! But looking back at what I said still makes me smile. I spoke slowly – as I chose each word with utmost care. Sir…. You have probably decided… that yes, I am an honest and a passionate person. You would probably discuss your views… with the rest of the panel and then arrive at a decision.

Coatman: He suddenly had this huge grin on his face. Well - that is a politically correct answer. That's alright - but you know what I would have said if I was in your place ? I would have said that 'You Sir, have already made up your mind to take me in - now it depends on these other two gentlemen'.

Now, really - I didn't know how to react to this...at all. First, I kept wondering whether what I had heard was correct – then, I kept wondering whether I should read anything into it. Well in any case, I managed a polite smile.... for whatever the moment was worth.

Coatman: Shot an authoritative look towards the others. Okay... anything else ?
Bongman shrugged and looked to his right. He, apparently – had had enough of me in the first few entrepreneurial moments itself!

Admini: Kaushik... this 464/500 and 385/400 in your ICSE/ISC.. how is it so? You have more than five and four subjects..
Myself: Old confusion. Sir - in ICSE, we usually take the best five out of the six subjects that we study and for ISC - we take E+PCM... tried telling him about how the board and our school interpreted the marks - but for some strange reason - as if his job was on the line, he insisted that I note down the total marks obtained on the interview sheet.

As I took some time to recalculate the scores - Bongman started on a monologue - Hmmm… you know different colleges might interpret the scores differently - my son had the same thing when he had applied…

I lifted my head to mumble a few explanations, as I thought these words were directed towards me. Oops - apparently I had barged into a private conversation between Coatman and Bongman ... Bongman gave me a wearisome look - and asked me to carry on filling the form...I hastily wrapped up the remaining bit.

As I finished, there were the customary round of thank you's... and as Coatman handed me my folder back – and his last words still ring in my ears. Loud and clear.

Coatman: But seriously Kaushik - handing my folder-full of extra-curricular certificates back to me - good work. Keep it up!

It was a happy Monday evening I stepped out to, as I exited the room. For some reason, the day seemed like a relief. Not the ones where you wait for it to get over and done with, but the times when you know that you did your best – and there were some who appreciated that.

Patience, the say pays. Well, in this case – it had paid me enough to keep my dreams alive.

In retrospect...

The spirit of competition - so, how important is it to win? The English language is treacherous enough to allow phrases like – Well begun, is half the battle won! As well as - A bad beginning makes a good ending! I think what lasts longer than the ephemeral juxtaposition of words meant to confuse, is what we ourselves believe in. Here, in the cut-throat competition of the society we live in, the easiest way to get bigger than our neighbour, is by cutting him short. This spawns a malicious chain of negativeness, which keeps us from realizing that another way to get ahead of the competition is by bettering oneself. Here, in the final selection round of one of the most sought-after b-schools in the country – it was almost unreal to see the dignity and class with which the group went through the minutes. Experiences like these set the tone for things to come. As a person, we are not insecure about being who we really are. Comfort and a feeling of safety would give a boost to anyone’s confidence. Confidence to do more than just answer questions thrown at you from every subject you could possibly think of – it’s the confidence to leave a lasting impression on whoever your audience is. Amen.

Sing for the moment

Live in virtue, no desire...
In the grave and angel's choir.
You look to heaven and wonder why...
No one can see them in the sky

- Engel, Rammstein (translated).

Verdict: Selected for the PGDM and PGDCM batch of 2006-2008.

FMS : Circus Act...

2006-03-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

‘Bas… ab aur nahi !!!’ (Stop… No more, please !)
‘Chat-pati Vivaah’ [:o] (Spicy nuptials)
‘Komal ladki…’ errr… what?.... ummmm… ‘Soft female?!’ [:P]

Tip of the iceberg, actually. There were at least a million other weird-named flicks screaming out at us as Nikhilesh and I walked the shady corridors of the Palika @ Connaught Place, Delhi. At odd intervals, you would even find the skinny, tight-vested, ear-studded, streaked-hair guy slipping dangerously close to you – close enough to whisper sweet nothings into your ears. Only that his sweet nothings would been filled with single-digit numbers and various (mal)-representations of the letter ‘X’. Of course, we would walk on – resolutely – with a shocked look that protested against the momentary danger our innocence was subjected to… oh heck, whoever paid for free lunch anyways ?!

Delhi had been a blur. It was difficult to believe that I had survived the XL massacre to be through the FMS episode in less than 24 hours. My lifelines – Ayon & Shubhra, one helluva couple – technically my relatives, but more like my friends. They stayed up till one in the night when I finally reached their place at Gurgaon, made sure I could commute safely and most importantly, in style in their Corolla – took me out for dinner and dropped me off at the airport even before six the next morning. All this, with a few shots of Bailey’s Irish crème – ah! the perfect holiday! Well, only hitch being that it wasn’t really a holiday.

March 10th, 2006 : My FMS interview @ Delhi

Now, this Delhi was decisively different from the one we used to frequent while in college – the one which made your eyes water the minute you set one foot in it. This then was the NCR – metro, CNG vehicles, et all. But yes, some things do not change. The many rings and by-lanes still managed to confuse the hell outta me – and it was thanks to atleast 20 autorikkawallas and 30 panwallahs that I finally managed to locate the FaMouS Faculty of Management Studies. One thing – these guys refuse to budge. In fact, it doesn’t matter whether you’re in Kanyakumari or Timbuktoo – you have to travel to distance to get to this building. But given the fact that they wrap up the 2-yr course at one of the lowest course fees (40000 INR), you could forgive them for not conducting interviews all over the countries.

What you could probably not forgive them for… is making your group wait for over two hours, while they got done with the previous one. 1..2..3… 7…8…9..what?! 11..12 ?!?! 12 people in our group! I was about to whisper an indignant protest to Kalyan, who was also in my group when much to my ire – I learnt that two other guys who had missed their turn the day before, would also be accommodated in our group. Holy Smoke! That made it 14 people in our group! That was almost as assured a fish-market as you could ever expect. Funny thing – three of us from the IMS batch @ Hyd were in the same group. Oh Boy - it promised to be one helluva party.

As we were waiting out turn, quite a number of their present batch of students voluntarily stepped in to interact with us – now this was nice J And in fact, a new experience of sorts. They fielded questions, narrated their own experiences – at times, even made the dubious attempt of pitching their university over the IIMs – but yes, full credit to them for livening up the otherwise lame hours that dragged on. After hours of hushed talks ranging from the Government’s lazy ‘I-don’t-care-for-your-time’ attitude to the eye-candy and more that Delhi University provides, we were called for our turn. So, this was it – I thought. And so, I’m sure – did 13 others and we bunched outside the wooden door.

The Ringmasters…

The room was the most spacious gd/pi room I had ever been in – almost too spacious to be comfortable. There were fourteen numbers chairs arranged in a neat semi-circle, with the evaluating panel at a considerable distance. In fact, it seemed less like a selection process and more like a pit where the 14 of us were supposed to battle it out amongst ourselves to gain a mile, a foot… an inch, anything – over the other. No holds barred. Kinda reminded me of one of those multi-tag team WWF fights. The ringside observers, of course – the three of them, were only too happy to be entertained.

To the extreme right was a middle-aged, plump lady professor – who looked too stern to be anything else but just that. Think of the last really authoritative woman who took you by surprise and gave the orders and expected you to follow them before you had even settled down – thought?! Well – now you know why I didn’t really mind the fact that she had stepped out while I was being interviewed. She virtually conducted the Group Discussion, single-handedly. Methinks that’s to be appreciated - we’ll call her Conductress, what say?

Next to her, was this fair and balding elderly man – thickset and with a no-nonsense air about him. You know, in my recent exploits – I have learnt to wary of a few men – their kinds. No… not that Palika bazaar fello’ ! The kinds that could deliberately choose to mess around with your time on-air. I decided to regard him with 90% caution and I daresay… 10% suspicion as well. [:)] Suave, yet prizefighter-like - the TopCop look – true! he looked all set to charge all fourteen of us with twenty-eight counts of murder without so-much as a blink. And TopCop, he will be!

The last one to wrap it up was your quintessential slow-speaking, geriatrically-challenged professor, who for all the happiness in the world around him, simply would not smile – neither did he make me smile, I assure you! But he had this frown – a constant forced-evaluation look. Not encouraging, at all. Rather depressing, if you ask me. And to top it all – he kept yawning in your face every few minutes. And trust me – its not a very pretty sight. Sleepy – thou hast been christened!

By now were in our seats, and I was none too happy to find myself right at one fringe of the semi-circle. No.2 out of fourteen! Jeez! I could hardly see everybody in the group, leave alone interface with them in a civilized and humane manner. With out wasting even the minute, Conductress decides to get on with the show.

Conductress: In a rather surrealistic tone. Welcome all of you to the final round of the selection procedure for FMS, Delhi. I swear to you - this was becoming more of an Indian Idol episode by the minute. You will have the group discussion and after this all of you will have to wait outside and will be called in one-by-one for the interview.

Sleepy, in the meanwhile, had started distributing small rectangles on which I suppose we had to note down our points. By the way, the lady was by no means finished. Watch out! Here comes the monologue!

Conductress: Now, there are quite a number of you. And in the process of the GD there might be instances where more than one of you would be talking together – you might be interrupted – you might be cut short – but we should not have anything like a ‘fish-market’ (OMG! She actually said it!) Please make sure everybody gets their turn to speak – the paper you have there is for the summary. At the end of the GD you will have time to write it. The topic will be chosen by the group itself – what?! – one of you please come here and pick a chit.

Simply put, opportunities like these should never ever be missed. You’ve got to make those reflexes work doubly hard to be on your feet in the split second where everybody else’s mind goes – ‘Oh, nobody’s stepped up as yet – should I? Shouldn’t I?’ One, because it’s your first chance to break free from the pack. Two, because the initiative could never possibly go down the wrong way. That’s why!

Enough said. I was in front of a box of paper chits – each looking innocuously similar to the other. Oh heck! I was never too good at treasure-digging in any case! Picked up one – and made sure I deliberated for an extra-second in front of the box – so that all of them, eventually would take a look at me to see if I was done with my inky-pinky-ponky or not.

Conductress: Alright, your topic is – India has proved to the world that its democracy is better than the U.S’s democracy.

Uh-oh! Right there – at that very moment, I was pinned as the guy-who-chose-the-horrible-topic! Sigh… if only that would have meant less people talking, and more people thinking. Not quite…

The Clowns…

Oh come now – with FOURTEEN of us, we could almost pass for a train. Apparently, a very noisy one – as we were all about to know. A minute passed in assimilating whatever points we could gather. Immediately, after that – 2 things happened almost simultaneously. I’m really not sure as to whether Conductress uttered a Start! first or whether the guy on the far end – (No.10 was he?) sped off the block with another one of those stale beginnings. And then, all hell broke loose.

Total mayhem. Quick on the heels of the initiator, was another cliché. It took the form of this suited bloke who merrily used the ‘before me step into this let us…’ line to define democracy and trust me, he did it in the most innovative way possible. He actually called it ‘of the people, by the people and FROM the people’ [:o] !! FROM ?! I was almost in splits – thought of correcting him, but I knew it was pointless. Three voices had already carried on with a parallel conversation. Well, if its gotta be dirty – I told myself – I cannot be the one who sits at the edge of the ring and lets the others fight over the prize. Fight, I must. Even if I don’t end up winning, I would sure as hell give the others a run for their money.

And the show carried on. Highlight one – the time when one of the sentimental fellows literally pleaded us to be civilized and talk one at a time so that the rare miracle called ‘hearing each other’s points’ would come to pass. What happened to him? Well, he was cut short… what did you expect!? Showstopper two – our dear Nikhilesh suddenly decides to play Laloo and lifts his hands with an exasperated ‘Just one question… Just one question’ chant – which lasted for a second even after we had stopped jabbering. What happened to him? He asked his question. After which, we stampeded him, of course. The sole lady earned her brownie points in middle – when this dratted chivalry-gene decided to act-up in all the guys, all at the same time.

A quick look at the panel proved to be most inspiring! They had, apparently lost all interest in the circus in front of them. Not that I would fully blame them – we were more chaotic than a bunch of fourteen red-nosed clowns bouncing about on a giant-sized trampoline. But - Oh my God! – they were actually busy with their Kurkure and coffee… and oh! they were actually talking to each other while this charade was underway. Precious, absolutely precious.

Well, I did manage to push in some facts – India being the largest democracy and US being the wealthiest democracy. Some jargon about ‘top-down’ democracy in the US and the reverse ‘bottom-up’ democracy here, in India. Hmmm… come to think of it, I did mention the fact about India’s middle class of 300 million people being more than the entire population of the US – a comparison drawn by President Bush himself during his visit to the country. Also, the fact that he admitted that the Indian democratic model was something which the US should strive to emulate. Of course, that truly does not change the doubt in my mind – I still think I was the only one who heard me!

Conductress: Okay, your time’s up. Thank you.

Lesson #487 : When they say they’re gonna give you time to write summary, DO NOT assume that you’ll be given five minutes. Not four, not three. Two, neither!

Sleepy had stepped up to collect our mini-sheets. Wwhat ?! Forget summary, I told myself, as I hastily tried scribbling down some of the points I made in a semi-neat format. By the time Sleepy had come over to collect my sheet, I looked at it – you could hardly tell it from a Doc’s prescription!

We trooped out and busied ourselves in making peace with each other. Before long, the second phase of the process got underway. This promised to be different – after all, there was the extempore to contend with. Funniest thing – we were asked to wait outside the door, till the baboos inside would buzz one of those 1950s bells. We, the living. The peons. The bell-boys, would then step inside the room to conquer the forces.

Playing the human cannonball...

Before long, it was my turn to be buzzed in. Stepping inside, I noticed that only two of them were there. Sleepy and TopCop. Hmmm.. oh well, from the trend it would last from six to nine minutes. How difficult could it be? I walked up to the panel. TopCop seemed to be preoccupied with something which you could not put your finger on. All the same, you got the impression that he was extremely objective in anything he said or did. He looked at you - his watchful eyes judging you - swiveling on his chair and digging in to a bowl of coated peanuts, at the same time. It was however, Sleepy who decided to kickstart the proceedings.

Today, I guess it shall be simply ‘I’.

Sleepy: Kaushik... come in - come in please.

I: Thank you sirs...

Sleepy: Yawn… So you're coming from Hyderabad...

I: Oh come now – it’s not that boring! Yes Sir, I'm working with Oracle, Hyderabad.

Sleepy: Ah… yes yes - Oracle Hyderabad - so how long did you say you have been working? (starts pouring over my form)

I: I decided to help him out. Sir, it’s been just over one and a half years - about 20 months to be precise.

Sleepy: And youuuuuuuu... he was actually dragging it like a chewing gum ....'re an 'Applications Engineer'... okay talk on this - 'Applications Engineer' for the next minute.

I: Awrite… I seem to have gotten off easy. My job role as my extempore topic – should not be too difficult. Started a pretty honest monologue about the hierarchy within the organization and the role in which any new recruit in the technology division was recruited - 'Apps Engineer'. Next, I shifted to the immediate higher levels of 'Senior Apps Engineer' and 'Development manager' and the average time it takes for an Apps. Engg. to hit these levels.

Actually honestly, it was getting real drab and boring… so I shifted gears to talk about how I did justice to my job as an 'Apps Engg.' - how apart from the prescribed job responsibilities and roles, I took up other tasks such as conducting technical training sessions within the team and building 'standards awareness'. Having sensed that I had spoken for more than a minute, I decided to trail off.

Sleepy: OKay – yawn!.. - so what team are you in - and what is the product that you develop ?

I: Questions like these – my pupils dilate – my involuntary muscles take over. I charted the much-traveled journey. Oracle CRM - Customer Loyalty team - building a frequent flyer program that was initially conceived as competition to Siebel Loyalty - post acquisition, our product lives on as the one for the airline industry, because of its sheer functional depth (Muhahaha…!!!) and Siebel is to be used for retail. (I slip into my immodest-best avatar) I single-handedly developed the core customer value assessment module - we assessed a member’s chances of moving up or down a hierarchical list of privilege levels - bronze, silver, gold and platinum for example based on over 50 personal attributes.

TopCop: Suddenly, he seems interested. So you have a couple of clients who give you these…

I: Ours is modeled on the requirements of our primary client, Qantas airways...

Now this is when I started bungling up - suddenly, just when I thought everything seemed fine - a doubt suddenly cropped up in this devil's workshop - and of all the doubts - it had to be whether it was actually 'Qantas Airlines' or 'Airways...' Thankfully, neither Sleepy nor TopCop seemed to notice.

TopCop: Again, that quizzical look. So what is the main challenge in building a module like this... how would you ensure effectiveness of the product?

I: Hmmm… okay this was well within the beaten track. Spoke about the increased competition in today's world - people use unethical means to lure customers as well - but these do not work in the long run. So our module helps identify those customers who actually contribute to the airline companies profitability - rewards them - by actually keeping track of what kind of rewards would be most appreciated by them - not a 'one-size-fits-all' approach (didn't use this term though.. damn – should have)... customize things to the level where the customer knows his value in the company.

Funny thing – I myself, didn’t know that Oracle Loyalty had a capability of customizing rewards, till I mentioned it in my speech. Where did that come from? Well, now that I did it, I had to play along with it.

TopCop: Was he really this interested, or was he just testing me. So what is it in Qantas's requirements - that sets your product a notch above the rest...

I: Oh come on, didn’t I look convincing enough? I decided to furrow my already-arched eyebrows. It has an in-built forecasting module - called Upcoming Tier Assessment Module – I love this - instead assessing a member for downgrade on the actual date we simulate downgrade assessments much in advance - as early as two months - so that if we see that a customer, who has in the past been a loyal customer stands a chance of being downgraded - we re-assess them using their 2-yr average frequent flyer points of their 3-yr frequent flyer accrual balance - this way we can intimate these members much in advance about the scenario such that they can take corrective actions and prevent themselves from getting downgraded...Voila!

TopCop: Didn’t make a dent. But other companies also do this - even Lufthansa does this - today everybody has this…

I: Dude, what does it take to convince these guys?! Not just truth, I guess. But the complexity comes in the number of parameters that is being used to assess the member’s chances - we have more than 50 different member attributes ranging from accrual details to personal - and we use business rules to leverage this data and assess a member. Humph – that’ll show Lufthansa…

TopCop was shaking his head now – his pursed lips indicated that he had not really bought my story. Uh-oh, I had already used up about four minutes – what do I do?

Sleepy: Your s.o.p - you mentioned your entrepreneurial… so how would I know this for sure - give me some proof to show that you are actually serious about this.

Now – the S.O.P – the statement of purpose – a 200-word cruncher which was supposed to give them a snapshot of you, our history, your strengths, your weaknesses, your ambitions, your short-term goals, your long-term goals… your this – your that. It’s crazy! People don’t finish these in 300 pages! And I, the Godforsaken, had merrily filled in one paragraph, about two months back – and completely forgotten to go through it in the time I had before the interview. Sheesh, I did not even remember what I had filled in!

I: In any case, now it was showtime – and I had to play my part. A 2-year b-school degree would be extremely helpful in leveraging my present experience - so that I could work as a consultant in the following years. Work for a few years and understand the industry I am in - we have heard about India being through a software boom - but there's only so much you can know about India's software industry by being in India - I would like to travel the world - find out how and where the software we make in the many corporate offices here in India are being used - the industries and then identify some of the niche areas which could be explored - for example, health and education in this country. Today we make the software sell it abroad - in about 10 years India would be rich enough to invest money in these sectors... By my early thirties...I cautiously wagered - I would plan on launching a venture which caters to these fields.

I think it’s something about these big bhaashans I end up rendering, that wakes up the dead. This time – apparently – the word consultant had caught their fancy. Of course, it would – I hadn’t mentioned it anywhere in my s.o.p [:o] !

Sleepy now starts on one helluva soliloquy - it was a question, actually - but I realized that only after a while - for the first minute I thought he had actually forgotten that we were sitting right in front of him - the next minute I tried barging in during the pauses in his speech... to answer of course - only to be interrupted again - by what was easily the longest and most circumlocutious question I have ever been asked. The yawns – well, by then – I think I had grown indifferent to them!

Sleepy: But consultants - their lives are very different in that - they keep shifting jobs and never actually stay in one place - how do you think that would help you... isn't it so - .... blabber blabber blabber blabber… basically, he wanted some more dope to do a double-check on my long-term plans.

I: I decided to put on my starry-eyed honest best avatar, and give it one last shot - I would agree with you to an extent - but a job change is ultimately a matter of personal choice stemming out of lack of satisfaction and an attempt to tend to realize short term goals. Not every consultant would have a vision of launching his own venture like me - some would thrive by switching jobs - my goal would be more of a long-term perspective - for example - a typical project in McKinsey – dreams alive, lol!!! - lasts for a span of about six months - after that I would shift to another undertaking - now this way, I would stay with the company but get a feel of different markets, different fields and ultimately make an informed decision by the time in my early thirties about what sector I would like to cash in on. Even now in my present job - I have seen people switch jobs for money, for visibility - and even I had that option, but I chose not to take it. I think that did it – he was convinced of the halo around my head [:)] So… ultimately... its a matter of choice and one's long-term objectives.

Sleepy: So what are your extra-curricular interests…

I: Now this was difficult – normally, I was used to the panel flipping through my certificates and getting an idea about the many things I tinker about with. Here, they had not asked to see my file and having to pick a few from that proved to be difficult. I could not lose time. Sir - swimming is something I am very passionate about - was in the university team and represented them in the district swimming championships. Apart from that - I was the instructor of the Dance Workshop - a forum for teaching ballroom dances to students who wanted to learn but had inhibitions about it - taught more than 4 batches of students. The dances included the jive, waltz... And I was about to shift scenes to music, when BANG! TopCop decides to book me.

TopCop: Not the foxtrot? I thought that was the simplest dance...

I: What?! Oh come on – you can’t pick a random dance, like this. Anyways, I was supposed to be knowledgable – and I decided to make the most of it. Sir... that's aaaaa..(my turn to chew the gum…)..rguable - foxtrot and charleston are on the easier side. But we used to focus more on the pair dances - which ranged from the waltz, which was classy and graceful to the jive, which was vibrant and very colourful. Awesome! What a grand and knowledgable statement!

It was only then that I realized that my seven minutes of fame were up – TopCop shook his head – threw a glance at Sleepy, who believe it or not – did not yawn this time. Alright, Kaushik – Thank you.

And then... it was done. So what else do you expect me to call it?

In retrospect

Much like one of those circus shows where you eagerly wait for it to begin. And once it starts, it’s as if there are too many things going on at the same time! In the melee you would find trapeze artists, clown, fire-eaters, motorcyclists – all, struggling to make an impact on the audience in the few minutes that they get. It’s a pity – that each of these phenomenally talented artists – each with hundreds of hours of rigorous practice behind them – cannot be granted their own show. Well, life’s like that. In the past one-and-half months, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt – and learnt it the hard way – it is that, no matter how many interviews or group discussions you have been a part of – a new one, always pushes you back to ‘Ground Zero’. When it’s a new audience, you simply HAVE to perform. Again. You HAVE to prove yourself, again. You have to gear yourself up and fight for all that there is to gain. THAT, is performance. Performing - under pressure, under expectations, under fatigue. It’s one of those unchangeable truths, which comes as a shock when we learn it the first time – and then…. we get used to it. Yet another brick in the wall of life. Well, so what if life does seem like a wall – if you can’t pole-vault it… climb it!

Sing for the Moment

Push on and shove... don't mean much,
Joker on Jack, match on fire.
Cold on ice, like a deadman's touch,
Whisper on a scream.... Doesn't mean a thing

- Blue on Black, Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band.

Verdict : Waitlisted at no. 007 in order of merit.

XLRI : Bloodbath in XXL...

2006-03-14T00:57:00.000-08:00

“Will you…. Please ?” And I looked towards her, almost imploringly... waiting for the slightest sound to escape her lips. She looked at me… a little bemused, looked up… and seemed to pause for a while. And then I heard those words.. “Yes… yes, of course”. And ladies and gentlemen, 30 seconds flat – that is all it took to exchange my lower berth for an upper. [:)] And thank God for that! The Charminar Xpress to Chennai turned out to be over eight hours late and trust me, I doubt anybody could have made better justice to the upper berth than me. For most of the journey, there I was perched on top – either logging z’s or flipping through many happenings of the world – and preparing myself for my XLRI interview. Well, little did I know what lay in store for me.

Now my stay in Chennai was for just about 24 hours. But thanks to an old college friend of mine, Vishnu – I managed to make the most of it. Now, as I’m nightflying to Delhi, some 11000 ft above sea-level – myriad imageries cloud my mind. The helmetless curve-speeding on his Pulsar, the endless ‘evolo?... romba-jaasthi’ bargaining with multilingual auto-dudes, the seemingly endless Mount Road… and…damn... that ONE thing for which I had planned that trip in the first place. That ONE thing which was supposed to have gone well – and much to my horror, that ONE thing that elbowed IIM-Indore to second place in the race for the worst interview ever attended.

Guys, what I’m probably gonna narrate now – is a step-by-step clinical disintegration of the average MBA-aspirants morale, psyche, confidence and lastly and definitely most sadly, his self-respect. The following stunts are dangerous and could prove to be potentially hazardous to your own MBA-aspirations. Please do not try this – anywhere !

March 09th, 2006 : My XLRI interview @ Chennai

Zero – the number of questions asked about my extra-curricular/hobbies.

Zero – the number of questions asked about India and its stock markets.

One – the number of panelists I picked up a fight with, during the interview.

Three – the number of questions they asked me on Indian mythology.

Five – the number of questions they asked me about Afghanistan’s history !!!

Eight – the number of times I had to blurt out a ‘sorry… I’m really not sure’

Twenty – the number of minutes this whole ordeal lasted.

Four hundred and seventy six – surely the number of times these guys would have chuckled to themselves…

To say that I was suspicious about the selection process of this much-famed institute even before I fell prey to it, would be an understatement. Firstly, I could not understand the rationale behind inviting a candidate for an interview without even asking him to fill-up an interview form. I mean – there ought to be some standard format which clearly lays down the parameters on which a candidate is judged. You could almost forgive them for not keeping a GD (oh hell! Maybe I’m being a bit partial here… ‘cuz this is where I usually do well, but still…), but when you know that twenty minutes is all you have – you come prepared with a lot of facts and data that has been thought out over long periods of time and most importantly, is connected or related to you in some way or the other.

One striking and rather scary thing about my twenty-minutes-of-shame(definitely, not fame) was that the questions asked had nothing whatsoever to do with me – followed no pattern in whichever angle possible – it was almost as random and vague as those befuddling red-green-yellow patterns you see in front of you when you bang your head in your sleep. Actually, the fact that the three stooges had mercilessly blackjacked me, might also have something to do with it. That is, if you ask me very very honestly !

The H5N1 Chicken Cullers…

‘Arre O Samba… kitne aadmi thhe ?’ (Yo bugger – how many of ‘em there…?)

‘Teen, Sarkar.’ (Three o’ dem, Sire…)

‘Aadmi teen… aur murga ek… bahut na-insafi hain…’ ( Three of ‘em… and scapegoat one ? Unfair… too unfair !!)

Well, funny as this multilingual adaptation of Sholay might sound – Unfair is, as unfair does. So here we go – to the extreme right of me, was an old, thin ‘gentle-man’….. you know the kind of gentleman who almost overdoes the ‘gentle’-bit – the palpable sneer, the patronizing grin – and that nagging… droning voice. No offence to Harry Potter fans, but I have to call him Patronus.

Shifting my gaze to the one in the center – I saw him staring right back at me. Ooh! With thick moustaches and a shrewd, almost mocking stare, he suited the ‘trouble-maker’ role to a T. I decided to call him Shrewdie.

The one to the extreme left seemed more like the peace-loving kinds – so much so that you could hardly make out his features from behind his specx – he beamed a pleasant smile and for a change, this did not seem to mask any evil or potential danger…pretty benevolent in fact. Voila ! There… I have my third character – Benevo !

I had reached well in time – and was busy pacing the corridors outside the interview room, when I saw the door open. The guy who had walked in about twenty minutes back exited the room and asked me to step in next. A quick chat confirmed that he had had a pretty decent interview and thought that it was not one of those ‘hostile’ panels.

Some people bring out the best in others. As I was about to find, I – call me apparently bring out the worst. It was royal – the interview, the screw-ups… everything – and I think I’ll assume the royal plural as I narrate the events as they unfolded on that fateful day.

Avian Flu attack…

We: Knock! Knock! Sir.. may I come in ?
Panel: Yes, please….

An eerie silence settled down as I heard the click of the door shutting behind me. I walked up to the panel and noticed that each one of them had print-outs of the e-form they had asked us to fill on their website. Yes – for the uninitiated – applying to XLRI is a laborious and expensive process – but more about that later. Right now, I had a smiling Patronus to fend off.

Patronus: Come in, Kaushik. Please take a seat.

After uttering the customary thank-you and making myself comfortable in the seat, Shrewdie asked for my certificates folder and started perusing through it. In the meanwhile, Patronus – decides to work his charm.

Patronus: So Kaushik... you're from Andhra Pradesh.
We: Sir, I'm working there with Oracle... presently...

Patronus: Oh, yes...yes.... 20 months right?
I nodded an approval as he kept fishing for incriminating details – pouring over the print-outs.

Patronus: …and your hometown is…(pauses for a while) Calcutta ? Oh so you're our next door neighbour. Again… that smile !
We: Yessir...you could say that. We were having a pretty interesting smiling competition over here…

Patronus: And in Oracle.... you're in...
We: On your mark… jet set go !!! And I started rattling off the by-now-ingrained details. Oracle CRM - the Loyalty development group. Was brought into the team at its initial stages - so went through all the different stages of a software development lifecycle - product planned as competition to Siebel Loyalty - but now that Oracle's acquired Siebel, we are going to cater to the airline industry whereas Siebel Loyalty will cater to the Retail market.

Patronus: Hmmm…. So Kaaa-OO-shik...Man, he just killed my name… why don't you tell me something more about yourself.

Incidentally – so far, I had not been asked that all-too-common question of ‘Why MBA?’ But from what I had heard about the XL interviews – this particular question was inescapable. Not that it should make one sweat – but I hadn’t really memorized a speech for this – what I had were points, and I decided to weave my story on-the-fly.

We: Started with the story - being born and brought up in Calcutta - 12 years of schooling at Don Bosco Calcutta – In fact I particularly stressed on this, who knows they might just have a soft-corner for Catholic schools - 16 years with family, very close ties - brief talk about father, mum and sis.... moved to goal-orientation - and how I use it in my life - how it helped me get a seat at BITS Pilani. Pushed in that little fact about how CompSci was my first choice, but I got EEE and decided to do software electives - took up the job offer from Oracle and realized how it would take atleast two years to do justice to the job. Project is slated for an April end release. XLRI was also a product of goal-orientation – also threw in the fact about how I had never taken the XAT before.

Was about to move to my strengths, when time ran short. Patronus, apparently was beginning to feel a little left out.

Patronus: Hmmm…What was your rank in college ?
We: Whoops-a-daisy! Do you think I would tell them that I was amongst the last ten of the sixty of us doing EEE? Hell yeah! Sir - BITS Pilani did not have a ranking system….as in they never had official rankings… I put on my earnest-best look.

Patronus: But still they would have had something... Uh-oh, don’t push me… don’t push me…
We: Sir – I waged on - we had segmentations - First class... distinction and so on. We had grades - and I finished with a 7.49/10.

Patronus: So Kaushik… tell me - what do you think is wrong with the environment ? Give me four causes you can think of...
We: Wwwhat !?!? Say that again ?!? you’ve gotto be kidding me – what kind of a question is this. Immediately – in fact almost involuntarily – but faced turned a pensive, thinking grey. Hmmm…well, Pollution... - and the show had begun - not enough is being done in that sector – Kaushik Mukherjee, the God of clichés - then there's waste disposal and treatment… then other indirect issues could be education of the people - they have to be taught - a sense has to inculcated about what is right and what is wrong... Comedy Central – and it was playing to a full house. I trailed off as I started recounting the point I had made so far.

Patronus: So what do you think software companies could do about this - the environment?
We: Christ…somebody explain how they are related!!! Sir - software companies would not be directly related to environmental hazards as their work is largely different from the industries that directly pollute the environment. And to look at it logically, it would not make sense for a software company to invest its profits in developing a sewage water treatment plant or the like. But what could be done is that - the companies could invest part of their capital in building public toilets or undertake spreading the message of a preserving the environment or take initiatives to educate people about what is do-able and what is not.

Yes… coming up ladies and gentlemen – Oracle air-conditioned loos. Infosys – where-to-piss-and-where-not-to-piss training programs.

Patronus: So what about virus ? Isn't that an environmental hazard for software companies ?
We: O-ho!!! Now I see what’s going on – they expect me to play darts blindfolded… Sir - software viruses are malicious programs and yes, they do affect the environment in which the software developers work - for example, they corrupt files and can result in loss of data…

Patronus: Only corrupt files ?
We: Suddenly, I decided to put-on my worldly-wise cap. Not just that - at times, viruses can create a backdoor in the system such that the originator of the virus can gain access of your computer...

Patronus: Name a few viruses…
We: Frankly I’d had too much of spyware probs on my VAIO to forget these. Trojan-horse virus, DieHard2 virus..... besides, there are a lot of adware and spyware viruses prevalent these days.

Patronus looked at me – a blank look. Oh come on, I knew it was correct – show some sign of acceptance. Something… Anything… Nothing?

Nothing.

Patronus: So what is Oracle doing to prevent this ?
We: Let it roll… baby, roll. Sir, we have a very robust system to prevent such viruses from affecting our system - we have a firewall which verifies the authenticity of a server before allowing downloads - even Yahoo! messenger chat for example - we're allowed to use it but not allowed to pass files through it - because there is a possibility of data corruption. Also, in case of new viruses - we are sent updates, and are asked to install them vaccines against them.

Benevo: Suddenly jumping in with a bewildered look. You use vaccines for your virus-problems ?!
We: Uh-oh! Sir... I meant anti-virus, of course. Vaccines.!?!... ummmm.... that was a slip of the tongue.

Benevo: Decides to step into the bullring. So this antivirus market, is it a booming market?
We: Uncommon question – and frankly, I didn’t know whether to ‘future-read’ into it… if you understand what I mean. I purposefully took 2 seconds to think. Sir, antivirus companies and their profits actually depend on the number of malicious software programs in the market - as of today, we have two prime players - Norton and McAfee who provide most of the antivirus program and the problem with companies like them is that - they provide continued support - so in case of new virus attacks, the customers would visit the same McAfee or Norton websites to download the upgrades and install it on their system. So there are not as many players as there could have been - I would not consider it to be a saturated market.

Benevo: Okay… these two companies... McAfee and Norton - what are their profits?
We: Unreal Tournament. I was slowly but surely beginning to lose interest in this. Sir… I'm sorry, but I don't have an idea about their profits.

Benevo: Hmmm… okay, 'Every Indian youth should be sent for military training for a period of two years'. Please make a case for this.
We: What?! End this charade, please! And in any case… whatever did it mean? What was I expected to do. As always, the cardinal rule – when in doubt, if you cannot convince them, confuse them. Sir... to analyze this statement - I would break it up into individual components and make a tree... at the top would be India - then beneath there would be different branches to which the youth of the nation could be of use to. Beneath India would be, for example - military... then services.... then education... (Seriously, when will I stop harping on education!! ) …then we need to be the pros and cons of investing the youth force in any one....

Benevo: No...no...no… 'Every Indian youth should be sent for military training for a period of two years'. I want you to make a case in support of this statement. You have 2 minutes.
We: Oh! Put on a surprised look.. in favour of... okay.

I thought for a brief second, gathering my wits. My mind was racing faster than my pulse…and then, suddenly…there I was. On the dais, addressing a gathering of the nation's starry eyed youth. Viva la Oracle Toastmasters! I decided to throw caution to the winds and started –

We: In today's India - we see children being egged on to do better then their companions... the teenagers following the herd mentality - everybody aspiring for a chunk of the great Indian software dream - the economic progress... nobody for a second stops to think about what life would have been had our founding forefathers not fought the long a hard struggle for independence (oh no – what if they quizzed me about independence? Scary! Turn turn turn..). In fact - today it takes a movie like Rang de Basanti or Bhagat Singh to arouse the sentiments without which India would not have been a free nation (oh no... there, I mentioned it again) Today, we have been benumbed into taking what he have for granted - opportunities galore in the free soil we walk on, but never once do we stop and think about all the blood and tears that went into laying the foundations of all this. Small example - in this budget a grant of Rs 10 crore to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the first Indian War of Independence - the revolt of 1857 - has already attracted sharp criticism from all quarters - now, agreed - there could be more than one ways of commemorating an event - but outright refusal to acknowledge the past is not a good sign. By training every Indian youth in the Indian army - one would be more sensitive to issues such as national security and the country as a whole - of course, given that all of the youth will not be able to take part in a battle even if there is one - but the physical rigours will surely impart learning and discipline that would be of great help in other fields as well. Today - a lot of people don't even wake up for the republic day parade (myself being one! .... fake-O me!!! Lol…) Today - from the earliest stages at school - we learn how to score marks - how to perform well - but what is probably missing is - not thinking that protecting the nation is the work of 'jawans', as if we are not one of them…(now this was funny – it should have been - they are not one of us!) Change an education should be brought form a more grass-root (again – another one of the words I keep throwing around for effect) level. A country's military strength - its defence budget is driven by its political compulsions - but for a nation where the youth seem to have forgotten about the many trials its earlier generations faced - it would do well to make sure they attended 2 years of compulsory military training - after all, 2 years is not long enough to make a person give up his original planned course of life.

I stopped - and noticed, three pairs of eyes looking at me – very very intently. Apparently, I had said something which had brought them to rapt attention. Uh-oh, what next? Well – there was only one character left to join the party. Well, he did more than join it – he darned well rocked the hell out of it.

Shrewdie: Kaushik…..pauses for a brief moment… what can I say? You made such a passionate speech…After this I myself am speechless, I really don't know what question to ask you....what do I ask you?

I would have been flattered, if not for his face - it reeked of mockery. A smile had deftly hidden itself behind the smug exterior. I guess this was that exact point in my interview when for the first time, someone decided to go all out and stress-test me. Somehow, I had always thought I would stand up well to a stress interview. The only problem is – when we make up our mind to do something no matter what – we run a high risk of overdoing it.

Silence. It had been a while since he had popped that last statement. An uneasy silence was nudging its way into our little party – I had to speak up.

We: Sir… you could ask me what I would do...

Shrewdie: Quietly grins to himself. Oh, you wouldn't take it up - I know that.

Okay – so this guy wanted trouble. But before I scheme a tactical plan of resurrection, Benovo cuts in from nowhere.

Benevo: Okay Kaushik... tell me about research and development in India.
We: Vague, vaguer, vaguest… wtf? Sir...which sector would you want me to discuss the research and development of... hah! As if I know the a-z of development in everything….

Benevo: As in... overall, you know.. generally - in India.
We: Oh.. is it ?! I thought you were referring to Honolulu… so sorry. Humph! Well – a man’s gotto do what a man’s gotto do. Blabber mode – on! Research and development in India - as of the present day - varies from sector to sector. To take the recent example of nuclear technology, we see that a lot of research and development has gone into getting India where it is today - and because the technology being used is mostly indigenous, we see prolonged negotiations to decide which of the reactors would come under the safeguards. In other sectors, such as education - Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in his Independence Day speech mentioned that as lot of investment has gone into R-n-D in the education sector, but we're still not where we ought to be. Even in the software sector, we have a few research labs - in fact, I was a part of the DaimlerChrysler Research lab in Bangalore (ah! deft maneuvers…) for a period of six months, and we were researching on what was then cutting-edge technology - 'Knowledge Management' - but it was developed and researched in India and then sold to a foreign company. None of the Indian companies actually got to benefit from the R-n-D that happened in India - this is not a very favourable situation. In my opinion, to specific research and development labs should be set up by allowing FDI inflow into the country - that way we will have transfer of technology as well as funds to set up such centres.

I had to stop. This was insane – I was speaking at least a hundred words on topics which I had absolutely no conviction of. How long could this last ?

Benevo: Kaushik... tell me about two sectors where you would invest in - take India even further in its path of progress.
We: Ah… God bless that facts PPT I had made for quick data reference. Sir... if we look at the present split-up of the nation's GDP - we find that the Services sector contributes about 48% whereas the manufacturing sector and agriculture are both in the twenties, when it comes to percentage figure... (WRONG! I had actually said manufacturing instead of industrial sector) Agriculture is one of India's oldest occupations - and to think that it is what a large sector of the Indian population is engaged in - we should invest in that. As of the present day, there are too many layers in between the source and the farmers who are right at the end of the spectrum - we need to cut down on the middle-layers where there is loss of funding and initiative - a case in point that I can think of right now, would be ITC's e-choupal, where they are dealing directly with the farmers... About manufacturing - India, for a brief period of time tried following the China model and assuming the role of a manufacturing giant, but that fell through and then the country emerged as a giant in the services/software sector. (And now I was mixing Gurucharan Das’s India Unbound with this) These two areas would be ideal to invest in - and it would definitely propel India along its path of economic and social progress… hogwash!

Shrewdie: Okay Kaushik.... Afghanistan... tell me what do you know about Afghanistan. Tell me about it’s history - the last 1000 years... what has been happening.
We: I thought I was coming down with a violent attack of meningobrochitopsychosis. 1000 years !??!? This was insane – I had done Iran, Iraq – why Afghanistan – how and where did he see it in me anyway?! Sir… I'm sorry I don't think I have much of an idea about the history...

Shrewdie: Was focusing on my face – every bead of sweat that started to appear on the surface of my forehead. O-okaye... who is the Prime Minister of Afghanistan?
We: Oh come on – this was not what I had traveled a thousand kilometers for ! Sir... I'm sorry I would be guessing if I were to answer this….

Shrewdie: Oh sure… guess…. make a guess…

The guy had me by the hook – and having hauled me above water, was clearly having a wicked time playing around with me. I had to back off.

We: Sir, I’m really sorry – I’m afraid, I don’t know.

Shrewdie: Hmmm.... Okay... what has been happening of late - tell me about the recent developments in Afghanistan.
We: Eureka! Suddenly… I remembered seeing the song 'Afghanistan - Bose OST' on my WinAmp playlist! Could I stage a fightback ?! Sir - Subhash Chandra Bose, during his crusade for the Indian independence... had visited Afghanistan.

Shrewdie: His face discoloured to a gloomy dark. What is this? When I ask you about the past 1000 years you say nothing... and now when I ask you about recent developments you talk about Bose?
We: Ummm.... Sir, I just remembered that bit.. In present times - I know that it has been the seat of unrest and terrorist activities - the Al Qaeda is also attributed to that area.... Kill me, quick! Yes… I forgot the US troops - I forgot the Taliban – in fact, the Sensex of my performance just dipped past all support-levels

Shrewdie: And…?
We: Insanity – he was clearly enjoying this. Ummm… and… what ? what could it be that they were looking for ? Uh – oil ?!

All 3 in a disbelieving chorus: OIL !?!??!??!?!??!?!

We: Uh-oh.. wrong turn mister – backtrack, backtrack. Umm. No Sir, not oil – I guess, I’m sorry – I haven’t really been following it.

Shrewdie: And then he said it – looking straight into my eyes – not flinching even one bit. So... its all really guesswork, isn't it?
We: Now... now, this completely blew my fuse - which by then was already short and burning... burning. I think this was the moment that the much talked about male-ego shifted from being an advantage to the other side. I saw blood. Sir...my tone was as terse as it could get… if it was only guesswork – I don’t think I would be sitting here today.

Shrewdie: Well....he parried… smart guesswork.
We: Okay, that was it! Sir…even that, can only get you so far.

And then he looked at me – there was something sinister and something very very smug about that look. It was a look which clearly said -

And this… is exactly how far you are gonna puppy go mister, because I am gonna puppy derail your puppy train of mother-puppy guesses, right RIGHT now.

Disclaimer: For the benefit and well-being of reader below the age of eighteen a word in the above sentence has been replaced by the word ‘puppy’.

Shrewdie: So… is there anything else you know about Afghanistan? Anything at all..?
We: I was too far gone to return. Sir, I guess Afghanistan is not one of the countries I have done a lot of research on.

Shrewdie: He nodded ominously. Yes… Afghanistan seems to be your weak point.
We: And then I did the cockiest thing I have ever done in any interview – and I swear to you I am not too proud of it, but at that moment – the situation was too hostile to stop – and think for even a second. In a sing-song note, I concluded - Aaaaand… you seem to have pinned it down!!! [:o] OMG !

Shrewdie: Pauses for a brief moment. Okay.... let me ask you about something else then…

For a second, my heart soared. Maybe… just maybe – being the eternal optimist that I am – I would get another chance.

Shrewdie: The Mahabharata... what do you know about it.

Wrong.

We: Okay – so Afghanistan and Mythology bpth, are things which I'm really really not too hot on!! Sir - I know it as I did in my early childhood, but I doubt whether I'll be able to remember much of the details now... I know that it was fought between the – I thought carefully eliminated names like Dhritarashtra, Dronacharya,etc and said -Pandavas and Kauravas. Yes, it was a safe and correct answer.

Shrewdie: So where was it fought?
We: Why.. why can’t people take the answers you give them… Lord, why ? Ummmm..... I had even stopped putting on that intellectual thinking look - also, I have a habit of mumbling when i think – but this time…maybe I didn't choose the right words to mumble - this time... …Ummm… Its not Ayodhya…

Shrewdie: AYODHYA ?!?!??!?!? Ayodhya will die if you say this!
We: What?!?! No sir, I said – its not Ayodhya. Hmmmm.... suddenly it hit me like a bolt out of the blue. Kurukshetra!!!.... yessir Kurukshetra !

Shrewdie: Right... and where is Kurushetra?

Now firstly – he sees I have difficulty remembering Kurukshetra, and still asks me about it! &@&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;**#$&@*$&*@# and secondly, guys from REC- Kurukshetra - please do not take offence, but by then - my brains were like all over the wall. I was vexed, peeved and beyond the thick red line that separates the doable from the absolutely not-doable.

I was hearing voices in my mind..

Kaushik… psst! Say something... say something… 5 seconds up.
Come on think of SOMEthing…. Another 10 seconds pass.
Alright…. say ANYthing… - NOTHING can make it worse than what it is now!

We: Ummmm.. It's not connected to your previous question, Afghanistan... right?

Wrong. You should have just kept your trap shut, Kaushik.

[:o] OMG! What had I done?!?!

That was it. All three of them looked at each other and seemed as if they were ready to burst out laughing. Shrewdie especially seemed as if he was about to split at the seams... any moment.

Shrewdie: The final sprinkling of salt on the wounds. So, again... what did you say your rank was?
We: Sir... in a wearied tone - I said that Pilani does not have an official ranking system - we have grades - and I finished with a 7.49 out of 10.

Shrewdie: Okay Kaushik - thank you. Please sign your attendance register.... take your files - and please send the next person in.

It was all I could do to collect what was left of my pride and leave the room - in fact, I was almost sure that I would hear an uproar of laughter the minute I closed the door. Strange... this was not how it was supposed to have gone.

In retrospect

The XLRI results are usually declared in two different lists. One – the confirmed list of students who are selected for the course. The second one – the waiting list of students whose admission hinges on the decisions of the people in the previous list. This time however, I am positive that there’s gonna be a third list. It’s called a blacklist – with my name being the sole conspicuous feature in it. Bottomline – games like these need prior assessment of ones cards. To put matters simply, you cannot play your spades… in a game where some other suit is the trump. After all, they did not really ask me about my CAT %-ile did they – all they had in front of them was my XL %-ile which was at best mediocre amongst the call-getters. Patience is a virtue – a virtue I ran out of. Situations like these make you look back and ponder over the opportunity wasted – Oh no! I just spilt half my mug of beer! What I’d probably do is throw the rest of the beer away and signal to the bartender for a new mug. Cheers, hopefully – things will look sunnier in the days to come.

Next up we'll have the FMS-deal - by say.... the weekend. Thankfully, it was much much better than the ordeal I just finished with.

Sing for the moment

When you are born you're afraid of the darkness

And then you're afraid of the light

But I'm not afraid when I dance with my shadow

This time I'm gonna get it right...

- Taste of India, Aerosmith.

Verdict: Waitlisted for the Business Management programme at No. 057 in order of merit.

IIM-A : Judgement Day...

2006-03-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

Shaken, stirred and not just that. Pummeled to the ground and pounded till I had actually forgotten what I was doing in Bangalore in the first place. THAT – is exactly was I felt like after my hazardous Indore interview. Reality bites – and in this case reminded me of the impending Ahmedabad interview in less than 20 hours. I knew I had very little time to cover up the chinks in my by-then-massacred armour. Oh heck, might as well get a new one, I thought – as I bought myself a generous helping of Crackle-Nutties to kickstart the process of getting over the blues. Why, chocolates, of course ! Some say they work better than even… say, sex ! Hey – don’t look at me – some weirdos of course ! :)

First things first. I raided Aalap’s IIM-B hostel room and hijacked his comp long enough to get all the info about swimming pool lengths and the 2006 Grammy’s that I needed. Next, I knew I needed to beef up my old and intentionally-ignored friend – EEE courses. Back @ Koramangala, I did a lunch-dinner double-delivery of pizzas. Expensive and not too good for the middle, but frankly I couldn’t bring myself to go out and spend a couple of hours at dinner. Somehow – there suddenly seemed to be an urgency in everything I looked at… and everything that looked back at me. The slow and precise manner of filling the form, the reshuffling of the order of certificates, the pouring over Budget2006 headlines to make sure I didn’t get blindsided when it mattered most – after all, it was IIM-A. Damn it, and it sure as hell did not get any bigger than this. Come to think of it, it seemed pretty unnerving that the day had finally arrived – those 30 minutes that would carve the next 30 years of my life.

Not that I do not court them, but I hate eleventh hour doubts. In this case, it was the sudden realization of the fact that I had not checked on the recent market share of Oracle vis-à-vis SAP. SaviourSiju, to the rescue – followed by frantic calls to F1Varun…to JaaliMehul….to Manishbaba – scene shifts to GymboySudeep who’s still battling lines of code in office…. Bottomline, I got the stats I needed. What’s more amazing is this incredible network of guys who seem to be there with me – to pitch in, in anyway possible – LazyPande, Thax… and others who I’d probably mention some other time. Always there - anytime, anywhere.

March 01st, 2006 : My IIM-Ahmedabad interview @ Bangalore

Thankfully I managed to wake up pretty early – say by 6:15 or so. Surprising… but was it really? I asked myself as I glanced through the various PPTs on my VAIO. I had decided on the gray-black combo the very first time I landed up for an interview. What I had left till this morning, was ironing it. Time seemed to be in a hurry and it was almost 8:10 by the time I hit the roads. I survived a minor scare when it took me at least ten minutes to convince an auto-driver that Bannerghatta would be a better destination than what the ‘Bhayyajee-Airport road’-crooning girl next to me was suggesting. 8:45 – I’m @ the scene of the crime. T-minus-15 minutes…. and counting.

Ah – familiar faces! So things hadn’t begun in the Indore fashion, I noted. We were just about exchange hellos when this gentleman walks up and stands in front of us with a sheet of paper in his hand. Really…? Already…? I stole a glance at my Swatch and was surprised. It was still quarter-to-nine. Ooh, the process had not even started and these guys were stepping it up. Countless names were called out – and to my horror – what I thought was the Lucknow group and what on the far side, I thought was Indore group… all suddenly, congregated into an ominous group of 35+ applicants. And suddenly, I was convinced that all that I feared was coming true. Pagalguy hosted horror stories of ‘A’-case studies with 10 members in a group, with four observers judging the melee from four corners of the room.

Thankfully there seemed to be a panel in every wing and sub-wing of the corridor and our group was asked to head for the upper floor. Further divided into two – and I happily noted that one from our group of eight had decided to skip the process. Now this is the advantage of IMS/TIME faculty taking the CAT – sure they crack the test, and thankfully do not turn up for the GD/PIs :) God bless you, whoever.

Four out of the seven that remained in our panel were guys I had already been with in the Lucknow group discussion. Now, this is when I started thinking. I distinctly remembered that we’d had a short pause of 2 seconds when we had been asked to start the GD @ Lucknow. Pause = reluctance to speak first = following the established lead of the thread = opportunity for me to start. Really? Well, I had tried it at IIM-Indore and done a pretty good job of structuring the flow. Could I really do it – start the much-coveted Ahmedabad case-study discussion, and stake a claim to the kitty of points reserved for the initiator – well, provided I did it well. It was now or never – I could hear the sounds – there was an opportunity knocking – the group seemed accommodating. I decided to go for the kill…

The Godplayers.

It is funny how a single letter – ‘A’, can make such a difference in the manner in which the day proceeds. You expect it – the swagger, the hype, the pride - and almost make it a resolve to discredit every bit of it. Truth is – strangely enough, they actually live up to all that – and in style. There were three of them.

One – the expressionless, thin, middle-aged guy with thinning hair. He had this owlish pair of spectacles with tear-drop shaped glasses which almost made him look very very pensive indeed. Engaged in a perennial stream of thoughts – I’ll call him the Thinker.

Two – Holy Smoke! You could almost make out a faint smile behind every word he uttered. Never looked at you straight – always at a tilt. A questioning, askance look. And to top it all – every fifteen minutes during the interviews, this guy would exit the room to light a fag. I had to call him Smokie.

Three – Incredibly well-cultured and sophisticated. Not bold enough to intimidate and not subtle enough to miss – just the right mix that makes it easy to drop one’s guard and slip into the pseudo-comfort of the moment. Just to fall prey, an easy one. He’ll be Sophistix for this one.

After an initial round of checking names, we were let inside the room in order. I was fourth out of the seven in group. My my… surprises galore. The tables had been realigned to make a ‘U’, with the observers setting their chairs at the open end of the formation. Each slot on the table had a number pinned upright – sheesh, this seemed like one of those NDTV Big Fight scenes! Now, two of us ended up with our seats right in the curve of the ‘U’. On the positive side, this gave me a 180-degree view of all the members in the panel and I could easily use that to my advantage and maintain my eye-contact with almost everybody. On the negative side, the ‘three musketeers’ also happened to fall within the 180. And in case you’re still wondering, it’s a big no-no. No matter what happens, you do not look at moderator at any time within the case-study.

Thinker sets the ball rolling.

Having collected our interview forms, he gave us three sheets – one with the case, one for the rough work and the last one where we were supposed to jot down our summary at the end of the discussion. The time was split into 5-20-5 minutes. 20 minutes and 7 guys – I geared myself up for a well-paced fight ahead.

Thinker: Alright, your time starts now.

Mortal Kombat.

There’s Madhavi – a junior software engineer in a firm who calls up her boss Mahesh at 10 in the night and wants to discuss something urgent with him. After initial reluctance, he agrees only to be audience to a complaint of sexual harassment, molestation – as proof, Madhavi even shows an year-old SMS from one of her male colleagues, which reads ‘I love you’. Also, she is the only female member in the team.
Ah… but that’s not all my friends. This is when the plot thickens. Next day, Mahesh investigates the issue to find a completely different picture waiting him. Apparently, the make colleagues had never flirted with her, but been ‘casually friendly’ and she had even enjoyed staying late and working on the project. Somebody had messed up Madhavi’s appraisal and she had not got the promotion she had been expecting. Expectedly, she was seeking revenge her own day.
And yes…. There’s more. Mahesh goes back and talks to Madhavi, who threatens to complain to higher authorities unless someone is expelled. Project deadline’s next week. What does Mahesh do ?

Yes, I still began. :) I had finished my McKinsey grid in the first three-and-half minutes and was keeping a close watch on the others. Most were busy scribbling their points. I made it a point to write my name on all the three sheets – and make an impressive mess of the rough-sheet – oh yes, one look at it and you had all the hints of a structured mind. Man, I should never be involved in crime. I love leaving evidence !!!

Start!

And I was off. Identified the key entities and stakeholders – moved onto the ‘key drivers’ that might influence the analysis of the case and then defined the problem in two different levels. I was having a brilliant run, when my first faux pas reared its ugly head. I was in the process of describing the situation as a 2-faced coin… and I ended up saying that we should look at the ‘pros and cons of the situation’. Duh! Like hell – there’s no pro is an alleged sexual-assault case, dude !

I decided to put it past me and immediately buried it in a pool of factual data form the case. The next twenty minutes were rich with content, and almost all of us had good content and tried proposing various hypotheses to suit things in the short-term and the long. I pitched forth quite a few uncommon yet critical angles, such as ‘the benefit of doubt – chance of complaint being pre-meditated – the time lag of 1 year’. What probably left me satisfied at the end of it was that, time and again I had quite few people agreeing with me when I made my points and structured the flow of the discussion. Its quite an ego-booster when you lay down the framework and the rest of the group follows that.

Of course, I did have another mini-blooper in the middle. Sometime in the fifteenth minute, I was so engrossed in the proceedings I actually said ‘acha! Okay..’ when I agreed to the validity of another group-member’s point. Yes, sad but true. And spontaneous, as that might have sounded – the vernacular was surely no way to go.

Thinker: Okay, that’ll be it. Please start with your summary. You have five minutes.

I barely managed one, though. Mentioned the short term (role/responsibility separation of Madhavi and the others - can of worms opened) and long-term : (employee orientation talks - more healthy male-female ratio). And before I knew it, we were outside. Awaiting our turn in the lion’s den.

Dodgeballing the Godplayers.

Thankfully, these guys followed the earlier order and fourth was not a long while away. So this was it! I thought to myself. 10 minutes… 20…. then 45….. time dragged on. Smokie came out a couple of times. I flipped through the TOI analysis of the 2006 budget. First guy done… Maths questions… Second done…. NSS queries… Third… and before long, it was definitely positively my turn. No escape.

I waited outside the door. Suddenly the door opened and Sophistix came out.

Sophistix: Kaushik ?

I nodded a Yessir in agreement.

Sophistix: Please go in – I’ll be with you in a minute.

And with my heart in my throat, I managed a confident-looking walk into the room.

Now, there’s something I always do at exactly this specific point in any interview. Once inside, I usually draw the attention of the panel again with a polite ‘Sir, may I come in ?’ Yes, some of the old-things never really go out of fashion. Follow their nod to approach the table – wait for the slightest pause ever on reaching the table – till they notice that you haven’t really grabbed that chair and made your posterior very comfortable. ‘Please take a seat, Kaushik’. Hmmmm…. So far so food.

I was half-way in the process of seating myself, when Smokie lets a smile slip. He’s in the middle seat – clearly at the helm of things. Oh, and for this one, I’m well, ‘me’ ! KISS, they say – Keep it simple straight.

Smokie: So Kaushik… how is Oracle ? Do you have any certificates that you would like us to have a look at?
Me: Hell yeah – I’d sell myself with any certificate that I could lay my hands on! It’s a very nice place to work, Sir. Ah – a confident beginning to the interview.

Smokie: Really? but I've heard its a very taxing, very strenuous job ?
Me: I was half-expecting a ‘then why don’t you stay there’ answer !!!. Sir, it actually depends on which team you are in. For me, I was in a team which had ample scope for development, which made sure I learnt a lot while on the job.

Now this is when I really started throwing baits left, right and centre. It started off as involuntary, but in retrospect – pretty much guided the conversation that ensued. The answer started off on one note and ended on ‘learning’ and I was banking on them to ask me about that.

Smokie: Really, okay - what have you learnt in your job ?
Me: Bingo! Sir - our product Oracle Loyalty was initially conceptualized as competition for Siebel Loyalty - I was initiated into this team at its formative stages - so I saw the entire phase of interacting with the clients to gather their requirements, was a part of the team that made the functional and technical documents of it. Last eight months were when we developed the product and parts of it are already in the testing phase.

At this point, Sophistix walks in, hears the last bit of the conversation and sits down to the right. This is when I think I played one of my cards really really right. Rare, I know. As soon as he sat down, I finished off with the sentence. The other two were looking at my interview form and I stole a few seconds to turn to Sophistix – ‘Sir, I was just telling them about my job experience’

He nodded an approval. Remember, me telling you earlier in another post about the little things that might just set the tone for the things to come. One of those, for sure. And best of all, it was completely pre-meditated.

Smokie: So what exactly is your product ?
Me: Sir, it’s a frequent-flyer program for airlines.

Smokie: Who is your client ?
Me: Now this took me by surprise – aren’t we like supposed to be subtle about it? Oh to hell with it. Qantas airlines, Australia. We are modeling our product on their requirements and a lot of other airlines are in the pipeline.

Smokie: Oh, Qantas airlines recently partnered with an Indian airline, do you know which one was it ?
Me: Sir, it was Jet airlines.

Now, honestly I do not read the Economic Times everyday – but one of the day – at least three months back – in one of the centre pages, I thought I remembered seeing this. Didn’t remember the context, though - thought of protecting it with an 'I think so' but something inside me simply said - screw it! You know you read that bit of news !

Even as I was thinking, I noticed Smokie giving me a suspicious glance. Somehow I suddenly felt pretty adamant about the situation and decided against giving up on my answer. I stuck to my answer. And thankfully, for good cause !
http://www.qantas.com.au/fflyer/dyn/newsOffers/news/2005/nov/PartnerAirlineUpdate

Yay ! Meanwhile, Thinker decides to make his debut. Little did I know that it was gonna be a long long one.

Thinker: So how many people in your team - you've said 30 in the form- isn't that too big ? Do you have people reporting to you?
Me: Explained the split between the technical and the functional wings - the splitting of the development team into apps engineers, senior apps engineers, dev manager, senior dev manager director... Explained that I didn’t have people under me - but have, in the past been given the responsibility of initiating new inductees into the team. We were the first to join - hence the newcomers had to be guided through the product.

Thinker: Wouldn’t let me go this easy. All this in one team...
Me: Yes Sir… our director wears another hat - he's the leader of the manufacturing team as well - so barring him and the VP - 20 ppl - 2 managers - 18 split into 8 and 10 !??!? (trust me – my team’s gonna throw me out if they hear such a shoddy depiction of the team number)

Precisely, at this time – Smokie decides to get his 15-seconds-of-making-fun !

Smokie: Oh…and how many hats do you wear, Kaushik ?
Me: Completely nonplussed. Ummmm.. Sir, that was just figurative :)

Smoke: Not about to let go of this easily. Figurative.. yes of course - but dont you think this teaching new entrants - you're like the ******* of the team?

No, its not what you think it is. He surely did not address me with expletives – at least not yet. He uttered a word which completely escaped my grasp. Oh well, I decided to play along.

Me: Sir, that’s something I've done in my spare time apart from the primary work - so it didn't really...trailed off…

Thinker: Oracle CRM - So what do you do in your job ?
Me: You know – you should try waking me up from my sleep and asking me the same question. I think I might sleep-mumble my way into the Guinness Book of World Records by the end of all the interviews. Explained in detail – customer value assessment of a membership in any frequent flyer program.

Thinker: So how different is CRM from ERP? Is it the same?
Me: No, Sir – it is not the same as CRM deals very specifically with software applications that can be used to enhance various aspects from service to power of a customer – it is very customer-centric. ERP is a much bigger suite which has many different applications to help an enterprise run its daily chores, such as finance, hr, etc. Spoke mostly about the difference in scope.

Thinker: Can I use your loyalty product as an ERP product? say SAP what do they do ?
Me: SAP - ERP market share leaders. After the Peoplesoft and Siebel acquisition, Oracle is second in the market. S.A.P uses different technology so Oracle Loyalty would not be directly compatible. Our Loyalty product is not an ERP solution, as ERP contains many more aspects of managing a business - ours however could be integrated as a part of another ERP application.

2 things here. Firstly I tried baiting them with the market-share statistic. I was so ready to throw the stats at them. Damn, they missed this one. Secondly, Thinker said ‘Sap’ and in my answer I started with a very explicit ‘Ess-Ay-Pee’. Drat! If he thinks I was trying to correct him and show off – Nooooooooooooo !!!!

Sophistix, meanwhile decides to join the party.

Sophistix: Qantas - did you find their requirements any different ?
Me: Sir, it is their sheer functional depth, and some very Qantas specific requirements, such as the forecasting model. Apparently, I was putting my Indore-takeaways to some good use here. Hooray!

Sophistix: Grins to himself. So you can predict when the customer will fly and when the customer wont fly?
Me: No Sir, the way we our program works is different. Mentioned… actually showed off in detail about this one feature called the ‘upcoming tier downgrade assessment’ – how it checks customers from being downgraded – tries their 2-yr average and 3-yr average balances and implicitly make them accrue points to preserve their tier. All in all – he seemed pretty satisfied. Fingers crossed.

Now this is exactly when Thinker started a barrage of graph psycho-babble. He actually pushed a pad towards me and went off on a tangent.

Thinker: Okay Kaushik… now I am going to ask you to draw a couple of graphs for me. Firstly, please plot ‘ variance of performance, i.e. return time to customer’ on the (y)-axis with ‘no. of members’ on the (x)-axis.

Took my time to think. Clarified a doubt and sketched a decent graph with a very conspicuous break-point where the downward curve became a straight line. I was baiting him for all I was worth.

Thinker: What is that point there?
Me: Yeah!!! Explained in detail about how with the beauty of batch processing, after a threshold limit our concurrent program would spawn individual child processed and treat each one of them as individual processes. Thereby improving efficiency, in every run.

Thinker: You have ‘partners’...what are they ?
Me: Sir – women and well mostly, straight !!! Lol ! Sir, they are companies with whom an airline company might have a collaboration such that frequent flyer points are redeemable at the partner company outlets. Gave the example of Hilton hotel and Hertz rent-a-car services. He was hanging on to every little word I was saying – very very intently.

What really surprised me that these guys were actually speaking our team lingo – partners/ accruals/ redemptions/ assessments – they seemed to know it all. At that time, things were too critical to be mindblown – but I knew I was waking a tightrope and there was no scope for error.

Thinker: Okay, now plot the ‘variance of performance’ on the (y)-axis and the ‘no. of partners’ on the x-axis.
Me: Drew a slightly different graph and explained the different steps involved in dealing with partners. Waiting for partners to send in their accruals – so lesser partners would mean less partners to wait for. Some more batch processing fundae.

It is not as if I was having a ball of time, but Thinker simply would not let me go.

Thinker: Kaushik… now draw on the same graph ‘performance of the system’ on the (y)-axis with the ‘variety of partners’ on the x-axis.
Me: Now this is when going through other’s code comes in handy. I had flipped through Ritto’s partner accrual code and explained in detail about the partner records being stored in the same table.

Thinker: Apparently, he was allergic to tables. No back end details, please explain in layman's terms.
Me: Trudged along about how every stage where the partner is interfaced with depends on the parameter ‘partner type’ - outbound communication and accrual records processing, depend on setup and variety would not matter as long as the parameters are defined properly. Oh heck… I told myself – I surely knew more about this than him !

Smokie: Glances up from my certificates. Your district swimming certificate – is there a timing discrepancy? 32 seconds for 50m and 1m 30 seconds for 100m ? Was it not recorded properly ?
Me: The answer that naturally came to me was that I was better a short, fast bursts of speed than prolonged stamina-sucking feats. But then I think I knew a few of ‘em who would disagree. ;) I switched tracks by explaining somersaults – how we lose 5 seconds in turning at the ends - 25m pool – would mean 1 somersault in a 50m race and 3 times in a 100 m race. From the looks on his face, it was evident that he hadn’t seen this angle of it – and he accepted the theory. Although, I willed them to ask me the international pool size – another bait – hyyuck, they didn’t.

Thinker: So what are you favourite subjects ? Did you have any in EEE ?
Me: Sir, Overall my favourite subjects where few of the software courses I did in my final year – Object Oriented Programming and Data Programming. I was determined not to go down the Indore route here.

Thinker: So from EEE to software. Did you had a backing even before you joined college?
Me: Told them about my having Comps as a subject in my XII. Pilani admissions - first preference being Comp.Sci, 2nd – EEE. How I had used the electives to my advantage.

Sophistix: BITS, Pilani - which part of Rajasthan is it ?
Me: Sir, 210 kms from Delhi on the border of Rajasthan - almost equidistant from Jaipur as well – they make a triangle.

Sophistix: Where in Rajasthan is Pilani ? which part ? There are many parts of Rajasthan, you know. Aargh – that smile.
Me: Sir, its in the Jhunjhunu district - about 30 kms from the desert... I'm not sure what exact area you are referring to…Ummmm.. Rann of Kutch… (cardinal mistake)

Sophistix: Rann of Kutch is in Rajasthan?
Me: And I could literally see my Geogo-teacher mum disowning me at that instant.No sir… I’m sorry, Its in Gujarat. (Hastily)

Sophistix: What is Jhunjhunu famous for ?
Me: Now what? Ummmm...Sir, I’m sorry it doesn’t seem to strike a chord – That area was mostly famous for the institute.

Sophistix: Havelis..
Me: Shell-shocked. For the second, where I thought he was talking about some Devdas-ishtyle Kotha-haveli !!! But wait.. I thought a bit – textiles ? Sir, I’m really not sure what is being referred to here. Damn… apparently Birla havelis were what he was referring to and even after telling me, I had no clue. Jeez – where in Pilani were they ?!

Smokie: Kaushik…your grades... go down… down…. and then 6th semester is when you made your first three D's and then of course....you later make other D’s. 6th semester – Electromagnetic forces… Communication systems… Telecommunications… what happened ?
Thinker: Pitches in with some support. But he had jaundice...I think he mentioned.
Smokie: He had jaundice in his 5th sem - but 6th grade...
Me: I knew this was where I had to make an impressive show. Sir in the months after I recovered from jaundice, the schedule was very tight - and frankly, I had overloaded my course simply to make sure I didn't have to skip a semester. You would notice W’s in the fifth semester in the courses which I had to forced to withdraw from. That made the oncoming semesters a little difficult.

Thinker: Diverts the topic with a different question. God bless him, seriously. Okay – what was your final semester project.

Again, this was another one of those turning points in the interview. Technically, I should have mentioned my lacklustre lab-oriented projects I did on-campus, but the story was about to take a wild swing.

Me: Sir, I did a six-month internship at DaimlerChrysler,Bangalore and was a part of the team that built a Knowledge Management Tool for Airbus, France on the J2EE framework.

Thinker: Oh.. your PS-2 ? Meaning practice-school 2…
Me: Woah – he seemed to know the ins and outs of my story. Yessir - Knowledge Management Tool – concept of reusing lessons learnt - no reinventing the wheel… saving time…

Thinker: Cutting me short. What did you do?
Me: Sir, I developed the front end pages using JSPs, CSS, Javascript - got a working knowledge of J2EE the framework on which the product was engineered. First hands-on experience of seeing the various concepts in use in a live project. Left before the completion of the project - have been in touch with the team - and the project is up and operational.

Smokie: You’ve mentioned about the entrepreneurial streak in you - what is there in BITS Pilani....something related – do you know anything about it.
Me: Bang on, baby! Sir, I think you are referring to C.E.L – the Centre for Entrepreneurial Leadership - started in my 3rd yr – during Apogee, they invite business ideas- top 10 go to present their ideas at the fest - my friends won the 2nd prize over there, this year. Hooray Sassy !

Sophistix: Have you heard of Nikhil Banerjee ?
Me: Little did I know that Mum would end up being pretty disappointed about this one answer I ventured. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. No Sir....the name does not ring a bell.

Sophistix: You mentioned playing the sitar as your hobby ?
Me: I decided to switch to the ‘Oh…yes… now I know’ routine I had practiced over the past 23 years..lol. Sir – ah!... Yes – now it does, it does strike a chord.

Sophistix: Really? So Sitar or santoor? What does he play?

In a flash I knew that I was on the verge of teetering off the edge. I had obviously underestimated him, and now he was looking at me – watching every shade on the palette of my face. I decided to come clean. And that, in hindsight – was definitely one of the best decisions I took during the interview.

Me: Sir… actually to be honest, when you mentioned the name in the context of me playing the sitar – it struck me as familiar. However, I would be making a guess if you asked me the instrument. I haven’t heard him live.

Sophistix: So who do you listen to ? and don't tell me Ravi Shankar or Anoushka.
Me: Sir…apart from them I’ve heard Ustad Vilayat Khan. Ravi Shankar and Anoushka - I've seen them live - but in general I do not restrict myself to the sitar - I've attended shows of various other artists.

This was my second mention of the word 'live'. One question on live and I could mention other artists and more importantly Vishwa Mohan Bhatt – he plays one of the most uncommon instruments ever – the Mohan Veena – that could surely be used as a line of leading them on. Especially since post-Indore, I knew my facts well.

Sophistix: Live shows…. like ?
Me: Oh yes.. it was actually happening. Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt, Amjad Ali Khan… BANG! I was interrupted…

Thinker: Vishwamohan Bhatt - plays the guitar right ?
Me: Mission accomplished. Sir, it’s actually the Mohan Veena – he is the sole proponent – modified guitar, an added string - seven others below for resonance - shot to fame 1994 – only Indian to win the Grammy awards.

Sophistix: So where does he stay ?
Me: Shucks… this was too much. He was actually trying me to check if I had theoretically mugged up stuff. Sir, I’m sorry I don’t have a clear idea.

Smokie: So you sitar...drum... dance also? Gives a very disbelieving look.
Me: Sir, I did them in different phases of my college and office. In college, I learnt and taught dance. Dance Workshop is a semester-long course where I taught four batches of students.

Smokie: What kind of dance ?
Me: I was having a ball. Sir, in college it is almost customary to start with an eastern dance and then, over time progress to western. I picked up ballroom dances in my second year – and taught ballroom dances like jive, waltz to students.

Sophistix: So what kind of songs do you sing ?
Me: Man... they were right up my alley. Sir, Western and LIM (Light Indian Music) both - told them about the February Oracle party where the band performed Jal, Junoon, Metallica, Roadhouse blues. Mentioned a couple of other bands and said - - I think I sing songs which I can identify myself with, better.

Sophistix: There was this sly smile spreading on his face as he said the words…and what songs to do identify with?
Me: Uh-oh… Sir, Aadat – a song from the movie Kalyug by the band Jal is one of the songs that has struck a chord of late.

Smokie: Suddenly jumping in. Okay… what are the first four lines of the Jal song ?
Me: Flummoxed. And then I actually did it. Didn’t sing – but started reciting the lines.. ‘ Najaane kabse ummeede kyun baaki hain, mujhe phir bhi teri yaad kyun aati hain – najaane kab se’ …Sir, there’s a pause – then the guitar ‘kicks’ in [:o]…… ‘ Dur jitna bhi tu mujhse paas tere main… Ab to aadat si hain mujhko aise jeene ke liye’

Believe it or not! There I was in my IIM-Ahmedabad interview- the most precious of all the interviews I have appeared for till date and THIS… is exactly what I was doing. In the middle I forgot a few words – and actually humm-sang a song quietly to remember the words… Lol !

Sophistix: So who is the lyricist of this song ?
Me: Sir… this song was formed in the band’s initial stages. A group of college students came up with the tune. I think it was the lead singer who came up with the lyrics – they didn't go by the formal professional way of getting a lyricist to pen the song for them.

Smokie: Okay Kaushik, thank you. Please take a toffee from the bowl before you leave.

Curtains. And that… was exactly how it went. Twenty long-drawn minutes. Remember the time you visited your doctor for your shots? A painful injection – and then the toffee to make good a bad. Not-so-fond memories, if you ask me. This seemed a little different. Almost everybody came out glowing in his/her own 'feel-good' aura - humph! so much for drawing inferences.

In retrospect

It is very important for a man to conduct himself as it befits his company. The Ahmedabad experience promised to be different from the very outset – and it did not by any means disappoint. There are very few people who have managed to floor me enough to leave an impression in a short span of twenty minutes. But irrespective of whether I make it through this one or not, the truth that remains is that this was a panel with a difference. You could see it in the way they willingly took my baits and allowed me to believe that I had succeeded in baiting them. You could see it in the times they arrogantly chose to side-step my leads to pitch in a few stunners from their artillery. And most importantly, you could see it when you look at them and offer an answer to their question – and in return, see them looking right through you – judging every muscle in your body.

Four done. Four to go. Next up comes the week-long trip of Chennai-Delhi-Bangalore i.e. XLRI-FMS-IIMC, between the 8th and the 14th. For all the action, keep checking this page.

Sing for the moment

You're a light to yourself...

You're a Shadow of the Whip.

So much covered in misery...

Yeah but we all know, well that's not it.

- Shadow of the Whip, Harry Manx.

Verdict: Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-I : Split Wide Open...

2006-03-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

Green…? Really – jeez, you know seriously, aren’t they supposed to stick to lighter shades with black trousers. And before I could push any of my arguments further, Bikram whips out a green tie to match. Now trust me, I’m really not a green person. But given that it was past midnight, the night before my IIM-Indore interview, I decided to invest my time in going through the last minute budget predictions and economic survey report.

The day had started out on the craziest not possible. I land up at Bangalore and was in the process of making my way to what had by then become my second home in a strictly meter-ke-hisaab-se auto. I had reached Koramanagala when this innocuous ‘charming-grey’ (as the Hyundai guys insist..lol) Santro overtakes me and skids to a halt by the left. KA-01-A-0466 – heck, what the hell is Bikram’s car doing this early – get off the auto and shift my stuff to the rear seat to notice… woah ! The lady in the front seat and a sleep-drugged Rose sprawled all over the backseat. WTF ? Apparently, the three stooges and two other ‘friends’ (humph!) of mine had been to a Pondicherry road-trip and were returning only now. Without me ?!?!?

Yes… unending swearing fights and emotional blackmails ensued and even as I turned in for the night, if there was one thing I promised myself – then it was that come April 2006, the journey would be done – time to whip out my 223cc ZMA-beast and hit the highways…

February 28th, 2006 : My IIM-Indore interview @ Bangalore

Kaushik, wake me up at 7:30. If I don’t wake up – try again at 7:45 – and if that doesn’t work either – try 8:00, will you? I’ll try dropping you off in the morning. Now the guy's actually driven 780 kms in 36 hours, while the others took turns at catching a little shut-eye in the car. I decided against waking up Bikram.

After the first few snooze rounds, I managed to stagger to my feet @ 6:10. Feeling mighty pleased with myself for having managed to wake up to the alarm, I decided to reward myself with another 20 mins of sleep. Come 6:30 – a hurricane of facts revision, clothes ironing and newspaper glimpsing followed. By 8:15, I was in an auto and hoping to reach in time. Well, thankfully the traffic was light – I was there with fifteen minutes to spare.

Indore was a jump – the weightlessness you feel when you’ve just hit a speedbreaker @ 80. And then, the impact - where the rubber meets the road – and you know that you’ve gotto get back into the groove and fight for all that its worth. As expected, there were 20 of us and what took me by surprise was that almost every face was new to me. We were split into 7-7-6… and as luck would have it, I landed up in the group with 6.

A quick look at my peers. 4 out of 6 were freshers… busy chatting away nervously. The other guy seemed a little lost and little benevolent. Suddenly… the devil in me stirred up. Could I… could I make a killing of the case-study? The others did not look like the kinds who would spit out their rehearsed opening sentences and gobble up the controversial kitty of points traditionally reserved for the initiator.

Now as you might have realized from my previous experiences, I normally do not begin group discussions. After all, somebody would definitely and unprofessionally elbow his/her way with some factual example or the other. But case-study… Hmmm – that’s structure. That’s logical. That’s clarity – besides it would be a litmus test to see if I could entertain thoughts of beginning the case-study for IIM-A. I decided to take the plunge.

The puppet-masters…

William Shakespeare, in his play ‘The Merchant of Venice’ once used the phrase – ‘a villain with a smiling cheek’ to describe the wily Shylock. You’d come across them in all walks of life – the prof who’s make mincemeat of your answer sheet, the girlfriend who’d pluck out all the petals of the bouquet you might have given her with her own rhyme ‘he loves me not – that **&&@$*(!^@)!)^ LOVES ME NOT !!!’ and probably her new boyfriend who could shake your hand and coolly say ‘Hey!!! Nice to meet you. I’ve heard such a lot about you ’. And they do it all with a smile on their face. Middle-aged, balding and friendly – with a smile that makes you wary. I’ll call him Smiley.

The other gentleman was the quintessential Bean-spin-off. Leaner – the goofiness replaced by an irritating knack of asking the wrong questions at the wrong time. Meet Beanie.

Beanie called us in order and I found myself fifth. Once we were seated, he explained the basic rules to us and gave us the Case Study sheets. 5 mins to go through the case individually – 12 minutes to discuss – and the last 5 minutes to note a summary down on the back of our interview form. All this while, Smiley never budged from his far corner of the room. Something just did not seem right… or if I may say – safe about this guy.

Beanie: You may start going through your case.

Oh well…Here we go again.

The puppets…

A tale of two guys. Friends and joint MDs of a BPO Company X. Say A and B. Now A is the media face and the operational head of the company, whereas B handles the finances. Over the past few months, their employees have been facing racist taunts from US & UK customers. The issue of safety of women during night-shifts has also been hyped by the media. To add to that the Govt. was on the verge of issuing a law beefing up the security of working women at night. All this needed money to be invested – A gives B a presentation and detailed report on it, but Mister-miser-B had clearly said that he could not give a financial commitment to any plan whatsoever – he has allocated his funds in upgrading the overall strategy of the firm to beat the competitive domestic market.

What does A do ?

Dunno what that poor fellow would do, but I’ll tell you what I did. And I’m might proud of the fact that I did it. I started the case study. Awrite...Yeah! Full credit to ‘The McKinsey Mind’ for the invaluable case-study analysis-tools. Was able to lay down a neat structure and literally compartmentalized the 12 minutes into the discrete ‘problem-hypothesis-assumptions-solution’ cycle. Overall, it did go off well. Had a minor slip-up in the middle when I accidentally mentioned the domestic wing as another avenue for discussion, when the case-study talked about US and UK customers – managed to turn it around in the nick of time, by faking as if I was talking about the domestic competition and not the customers…phew !

Amidst suggestions of rolling out the financial investment in two phases and pointing out to ‘B’ the role of human investment in his plan of beating competition – we suddenly heard Beanie squeeze in.

Please start with your summary. You have five minutes.

Like hell we had five minutes. I had barely scrawled eight full lines and was in the middle of a sentence, when - BANG! Please put down your pens. We will collect the forms now.

“The long term implications of the proposed - ” yes, that was my conclusion ! And as usual, there are a few points that strike you only after the moderator blows the whistle. Anyways, I decided to keep them in mind, in case they quizzed me on the case-study during my interview.

From the frying pan into the fire - and back again

Statutory warning : The following piece of literature contains potentially hazardous and mind-numbing material. Please do not try this at any of your interviews. Ever.

Now, this is where I get a little red-faced. Sure, sometimes the situation turns into an evil monster waiting to gobble you up, but at others – things go pretty fine, unless you’re caught with half-a-marie biscuit in your mouth when your name is called for the interview :o !!! Beat that. And that too, after I had read in the pagalguy forums about Indore-interviews not being in order. Oh hell, you just don’t expect to be called in first when you’re "legally" 5th out of 6.

And so I was gaily chatting with Alaap, telling about how well I though the case-study went. In fact, I was even considering grabbing a quick bite. There was this voice in my head that was telling me to take a seat and get into the groove – seriously, I’m the kinds who needs to be left on his own at times. Like the day of CAT 2005. November 20th – I squeeze myself into this ladies college seat – and the guy in front chats up about Ganguly’s latest innings. Yes, my centre was in Calcutta. 10:40 ! and this guy breaks to confide – actually, I’m talking to you so that I don’t get nervous before the test !!! Muhahaha – you should have seen his face when I told him – Dyu know what I do before a test? I keep quiet. Lol !

Beanie: Kaushik Mukherjee…. ?
K: Oh no.. I’m first..Nooooooooo !!!!!!!!!! Yessir !

Hastily swallowed the Marie and walked into the room. It was nothing short of disgusting. Hyyuck ! I could feel the ‘marie’ form a lump in my throat. And oh… btw - me shall myself ‘K’ for this journey.

Smiley: Come in…. come in. So Kaushik, you did your schooling in Delhi.
K: Hell... where’d he get that from? No Sir – I’ve done my schooling at Don Bosco, Calcutta – ICSE/ISC exams are conducted by the CISCE board, New Delhi.

Smiley: So what does your father do?
K: Now I had hardly settled down and this question caught me completely off-guard. The worst thing – I had actually read about one particular panel starting off by asking about one’s father – and yet, I didn’t prepare. Sheer negligence, and to be honest it turned out to a major confidence-killer. Sir, Projects Manager in Techno India Pvt. Ltd. (wtf? where did that come from – he was Deputy general manager – (projects) of Techno India Pvt. Ltd)

And thus, it began on a wholly unreal note. I was supposed to walk-in and cash-in on the good case study performance, and here I was making a pancake of it. Try making it the first time – you’ll know what a REAL mess is.

Smiley: What specifically does he do?
K: Installation and maintenance of generator plants. No no… what was this ? Was I nervous – I bungling facts.. and by the way, screwing it up. Sir, supervises setting up and maintenance of electrical power plants and the generators in them.

It was clearly as further away from the perfect interview as it could have been. The abrupt beginning was taking its toll on me. The ‘stress’ part of the interview had not even started and I already felt out-of-breath.

Smiley: So how much do you think these generator ratings are? After all you are EEE ?
K: Sir, they're in KVA - Kilo-Volt-Ampere. I’m afraid, I did it a while back. Don't have a very clear idea - I think about…. 500 kVA.. I’m not sure if I said this or mumbled this in my mind, the guy in any case – did not seem to take notice.

Smiley: So what is this KVA ?
K: No – technical… Kaushik, make a run for it – wrest control. Change topic. Sir, unit of power.

Smiley: And Kilowatt ?
K: My brains were getting knocked all around my head. Umm… Sir, that is also unit of power.

Smiley: Smiling the evil-est smile you could ever imagine. They're the same ?
K: And now.. my brains were splattered all over the wall. Sir, large generator capacity is usually denoted in KVAs.... Watt is what we know as I-squared-R, V-squared-by-R... whereas VA - is Volt into Ampere.

Screw you Kaushik Mukherjee !!! Volt-into-Ampere is V-I that’s exactly what you described as KVA. Guys, don’t hold this against me – but I’m really no EEE-ite. And I assure you, my dad was pretty pissed when he had to explain the concepts of active, reactive power and phase-lag over the phone that night. And there in the interview room, which seemed very stuffy and hot all of a sudden – Smiley was not amused AT ALL.

Smiley: You say you did EEE..? listen, you cannot be so casual about it - after all EEE from BITS Pilani.!!! And I swear to you, he was still smiling… !!!!
K: Dumbfounded. Beaten black-and-blue. Tail absolutely between the legs. Did it a while back, Sir – mumbled some vague excuse which one look of his ripped apart.

Smiley: That is why I’m asking you! You should not forget. CRM you will tell me, anyday. College course – if I ask you to study, you will tell me...But you should not forget…So can you code software with electrical - lets say you have to make a software for your father - give me a project plan.
K: Mommy !!! Help !!! There’s a monster in front of me, and he’s not letting me go. Umm.. okay lets try bullshit mode. Sir - for example, we could monitor the operational environment of each of the generators by taking input parameters such as the heat temperature, the operating voltage, the oil-level of the generators - the core software processing model will have to be done in a software language - but based on the results we could channelize the output to the generators - compare the present state with the optimum state - and take corrective actions if necessary.

Smiley: Oh - but what kind of corrective measures - be more specific.

Now, this was exactly when I proved myself wrong. I had thought things could not get any worse than what it already was. But I had to make one helluva profound statement, which in retrospect was the dumbest thing any EEE-ite could have ever uttered. Shame on me! Thinking of it now, has me in splits.

K: Sir, Generators do not exist in isolation. [:o] Say what ? LOL !!! OMG ! ROFL !!! But I carried on, undaunted – even as I saw a contemptuous smile spread across Smiley’s face. We could put parallel generators in a load-balanced circuit, and we could take the input from one of the generators - through the software program if we find out that the generator is overloaded, we could channelize it to the other generator.

Smiley: Okay - so what is the first symptom which tells you that the generator is overloaded.
K: He had already had me for breakfast. I think he fancied a bit of me for lunch as well. Stumped. Ummm... Sir, the power output goes beyond its prescribed rating. Bluffmaster versus Godzilla.

Smiley: No, its frequency drops.
K: Bedazzled. Well, blow me down - he's a ‘eee’ guy !!! Who was I trying to bluff all this while ?

Smiley: So would you use Java in building this application ?
K: Oh Lord. What next? We could build it with Java - but it need not be built in only Java.

Smiley: Give me reasons why you would use Java?
K: Classes and inheritence would help in accessing specifics of different generators...object oriented programming - open source - cheaper. WAT NONSENSE – although I think I had stopped making sense about ten minutes back, this was taking it to new heights… actually, make that depths.

Smiley: But the main thing, it is... you can put it for one station – tomorrow you can put it for another station – a different setup – so it is….
K: Suddenly, it hit me as a bolt out of the blue – and I literally interrupted him to be the one to make the point. Sir, plat-form independent.

Smiley: Oracle CRM - in a nutshell what do you do.
K: Phew! I could breathe again. I narrated my role in developing the customer value assessment module in a ‘next-gen’ frequent-flyer program. Me and my high-sounding words. Told them about the upgrade-downgrade chances of memberships along a hierarchical tier depending on a set of parameters. But thankfully, this is one area where I know my basics – thanks to over eighteen months of work. I could feel familiar waters ahead. And yes, I would regret thinking of ‘waters’ very very soon.

Beany finally decided to stop perusing through my certs and speaks up.

Beany: So what are these parameters that determine the membership fate?
K: Sir, we can look at them in 2 different levels - a) program parameters b) individual parameters. Apparently the all-structuring ghost of the McKinsey Mind had not let go of me even then. Explained in detail – the impact of the parameters and the outcome.

Beany: Oh, so its just an algorithm with works on these parameters..
K: WHAT ?!? how dare he !! Just you wait. I looked at him evenly. Sir, it’s a concurrent processing program – and given the fact that it weighs on over 65 personal attributes, 10 program parameters and innumerable rules - it is one of the most critical parts of our application.

Beany: So do you have class segregation? How do you determine the value of a customer..
K: FrequentFlyerPoints gyaan - different clubs and tiers.... I was having my best run yet – in fact, I even told them that nobody could join in a platinum tier directly and would have to earn his way up (what a lie!!! But what the heck – they wouldn’t know !)

Smiley: You swim. So what are the dimensions of an international swimming pool…
K: DAMN IT! This – I should have checked up. Sir.. the width length not sure - its got 8 tracks... and the length would be 50... Ummm...or was it 100.. our college had 25m !!! typical Kaushik Mukherjee defensive maneuvers. pathetic !

Beany: 50 or 100?
K: Swallowed hard. I should have kept my mind and though of the 100m track in school where I’d finished first in the XII Sports meet – surely they would not have 100m long pools. Well – at that minute – I was busy making intellectually-stimulated thinking faces. Ummm… I’m not sure - I would guess it is 50m.

Smiley: How many strokes are there?
K: Salvaged my pride here – told them about the four official strokes, but also the beginner’s crawl – just to imply that its not bookish knowledge.

Smiley: Okay, when you dive… you come up again – what is that called ?
K: Straight up. Buoyancy

Smiley: Who discovered it ?
K: Archimedes…

At this point I could almost sense Smiley gear up for another question. I could not help but blurt out.

Me: Sir…in his bathtub.

Trust me – I was so happy at knowing something – I even felt tempted to talk about how that bugger went running all over the city with his Willie doing a ding-dong between his legs – shouting ‘Eureka Eureka’

Smiley: You're in Jet loyalty..
K: Yessir – Jet privilege ! Why.. why do I have to interrupt.

Smiley: Yes, and you want to get ‘Sahara privilege’ customers to your side.. what would you do?
K: I swear to God I thought of telling him that Sahara loyalty was surely not called ‘Sahara privilege’. Sir - 2 ways of doing it - ethical way and unethical way .

Smiley: Eyes light up. Ahhh – yes.. yes, tell me more.. this will be my last question.
K: Sir..Ethical - campaigns, advertisements, better customer service. Unethical - poaching… what British airways tried doing to Virgin airlines. Classical gas – the kinds that would put even Vanessa Mae to shame :) !!!

Beany: Have you been following the Grammys?
K: Next time somebody says you can’t kill a dead man, kill him – quick. Then resurrect him and kill him again. Umm... no sir, I haven't really followed it.

Beany: But you say your hobby is music?
K: Frankly, by this time I was beyond attempts. I was pretty irritated with myself for having grandly filled up every little thing I ever did in my extra-curricular without taking the efforts to back them up with knowledge. I could have slapped myself.

Beany: Has any Indian ever won a Grammy?
K: It was as if someone had suddenly lifted my head above the water – giving me one last breath of precious precious air. Ah…this I know.

Yes… that actually slipped from my mouth. They heard it. They heard me say - 'I know this'. I think it was a new low I touched – my ‘nadir’ as I would call it. I was clearly at my unprofessional worst.

K: Sir, Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt won it. He plays the Mohan Veena – a seven stringed adaptation of the guitar – with a separate set of strings beneath for added resonance.

Never do what I just did. If you have your trumps – play them one-at-a-time. All this info would have made sense had I baited them into asking me questions that would lead me to this. Opportunity missed.

Smiley: What for?
K: Umm.. Sir I’m not sure (for the bazillionth time), but I think it was for background score.

Beany: Suddenly switched tracks. So, your Assessment module actually does not predict anything – does not generate any new knowledge.
K: Sir, of course it does – and it produces babies and makes coffee as well. Bloody! But at that moment – remembered this one sub-module, which I felt I could twist to suit this guy’s question. Sir, we have a functionality called the ‘Upcoming Tier Assessment’ - 2-yr average, 3-yr average... safety net to catch such customers who would otherwise be downgraded. We can communicate to the party in advance - future prediction... we make him fly to retain his tier.

Smiley: You said “futuristic”…there is a term for it ... what is it ?
K: Sir.... is it - prediction? I could think of probabilistic determination – but I was determined not to mention anything sounding similar to ‘probability’. They would have buried me.

Smiley: You are in software, you should call it… - say forecasting?
K: Defeated. Okay Sir, ‘forecasting’.

The Vanquishers, in unison : Okay, Kaushik – thank you. You may leave.

The vanquished gets up – and beats a silent retreat.

And the most irritating thing of all – there was this plate of peanuts placed in the middle of the table. Actually, I felt a little more towards me. They kept eating off that plate – and never offered me even once! Peanuts man!!!!

In retrospect

Making things work out to our advantage takes a ready mind, an alert brain and a lot of hard work. Sometimes, when after all this – things do seem to be going our way, we almost accidentally end up ruining the very fruit of labour. What we oversee is that it is as easy to make a mess of an opportunity as difficult as it is to obtain it in the first place. Experiences like this interview explode the myth that people with 99.9+ percentile can go easy on their interview preps. It drags the kitten from behind the ball of wool and places it under a tap of running water.

Reality hits you harder than the ground below. You are spurred on to take action. Your hair stands on its end. And as in my case, you gather yourself to face the biggest day of year 2006. Tomorrow – the day of my IIM-Ahmedabad interview.

I’ll update you about my face-off with the ‘fortune at the top of the pyramid’ by Sunday.

Sing for the moment

Take away my pain...
Leave the cold outside.
Please don’t let it rain…
Don’t stumble on my pride.
…………………………………………
Take away my pain…
Let the cold inside.
Its time to let it rain…
There’s nothing left to hide.

- Take away my pain, Dream Theater.

Verdict : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-L : Double trouble...

2006-02-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

Bonjour Bengaluru !!! Long time no see.

Yes, the smirk on my face would probably say it all. Its not even been a week since my ‘K’-stint and here I am… back again to try all the dirty con jobs they teach you in those endless ‘How to perform well in a GD/Interview’ quickbooks. Balderdash! – for now, it would suffice if you remember this strange-sounding word, we’ll come back to it later.

Well, to be honest with you – ever since I scrawled my itinerary for the next two months on the back of my Sharma’s bus ticket, and much to my horror – realized that by gallivanting across the country I’d be carving a not-so-pretty hole in my savings – travel seems less of a pleasure and more of a compulsion.

Bangalore, though never fails to entertain me. Why? Simply because this motley congregation of few of my closest friends makes sure I have the best of times, always – in fact even at times, when I should not be having ‘the best of times’. :) A typical scene would involve - me lying propped up against this punctured pillow, trying to skim through endless Wikipedia downloads, CEO Bikram hollering away his latest Thinkpad quotes to some poor guy at the receiving end … upstairs, Ricky Martin tirelessly singing his Alle Alle… as a hapless Rose tries to keep pace with Mademoiselle Sohini – who btw, is on her very own ‘hazardous-for-beginners’ Salsa teaching spree.

February 20th, 2006 : My IIM-Lucknow interview @ Bangalore

When you have an interview at 2:00 pm in the day, you have the liberty of allowing yourself to sleep late. Some people do not sleep that late. The fundamental problem with people like ‘Yours truly’ (YT) is that our definition of the word ‘late’ changes with the number of times we put our blaring phone-alarms back to the snooze mode. Finally at ten, I know I’m late. Damned late night mock-tattoo sessions. :D !!!

Barring the SAP guy the others were of course still in dreamland. The next few hours were a blur. I know that I survived the ordeal of ironing the shirt, polishing the worn-out Red Tape, doing a mini-treasure hunt for my wallet, ironing a second shirt because the first one completely ballooned me(refer to previous post), filling in the form and coming to think of it…pasting a pretty funny pic of myself on it. By 12:45, I was on my way.

Contrary to the Kozhikode interview, the atmosphere about the Lucknow batch of students seemed markedly different – as if the facilitators had deliberately cast a cloak of ennui over the proceedings. Something told me, this was the calm before the storm. After all, IIM-Lucknow was known for its so-called stress interviews. There were four different panels with applicants ranging from seven to nine in number. Familiar faces – not only some of those from the Kozhikode interview, but some of my friends in IIM-Bangalore, who made sure that this time around I did not leave the premises without meeting them.

Okay, now this was when it started getting spooky. It was two – and we hadn’t even registered yet. After all, wasn’t someone supposed to come and go through our certificates and application form before the proceedings began? Apparently not. Well, you know what they say – cases like these, better not to have any presumptions – and I was about to learn it the my way – the hard way :) !

All in all, we were having our own little kitty-party, the present students dispensing with their ‘do’s and don’ts’ while some of us were busy exchanging newspaper headlines and latest Sensex figures, when suddenly, almost as if she was hiding behind one of us all this while – the lady stepped out. It was only after the initial shock, did we notice the other one - him, with his laid-back, self-satisfied grin – and laid-back, self-satisfied belly.

Ladies and gentlemen, we were ready to roll !

The law-makers : snapshots.

If you are a Harry Potter-fan, then it might make things a little easier for you. Picture Professor McGonagall. Done? Picture her? With her stern, no-nonsense look – the specs perched precariously on the bridge of her nose – her eyes looking not at you, but actually through you? Good. Now, picture a much much sterner version of her. Not possible? Aloha baby, welcome to my GD. Extremely refined and high-society – the kinds you would not even want to mess with, lest they make mincemeat of you in public – elderly, yet incredibly sharp – with a gait that makes you look out for the billowing cloak that actually was never there. I’m gonna refer to her as ‘HighSociety’ for the rest of the passage.

Ever seen the average pan-chewing pot-bellied baniya businessman? No, not you – if you happen to read this and get offended, but you know – the types who you could just picture donning a dhoti and sitting on a charpoy…. chewing tobacco and asking the next-door Banwari if he has plans of mortgaging his property.

Lesson No. 486 of life – Truth is often stranger than fiction.

We’ll call him ‘BigB’ for now – you could take your pick between ‘BigBelly’ and ‘BigBusinessman’ – not that it would help his ‘curves’ (patience…. you’ll find out soon).

HighSociety: Panel No. VIII – everybody, yes – please fall in a single line in front of me as I call out your names. Single file, please.

Names were called that totaled to nine. And I found myself eighth – with the kind of line in front of me that you see when you do this thing called P.T. (Physical Training) in Sixth grade and you’re tall enough to be pushed behind 4/5th of the class. I was half-tempted to a one-arm distance measurement, but ah! the snake had already started winding its way into the room.

The law-breakers : mugshots.

King Arthur’s knights – that’s what we felt like as we sat around the table. It was impossibly round – heck, now this was new. A quick look around the group – you know….. the ‘sizing-up’ bit – and something told me that this group might not be as peace-loving as the last one. There was, for instance – this guy with 6, yes SIX knowledgeable years of work-experience, the guy in the coat who’s Dad kept whispering ‘beta, achha pesh aana… first class pesh aana’ – the grim fello’, Mr.Mustachios..a few others – and the one lady in our group.

BigB: So… Good Afternoon everybody ?
Trust me – for a moment, I was actually scared we would end-up doing the typical school sing-song GoooooodMoooorneeeeeeeengSaaaaar.

All: (enthusiatically) Good Afternoon, Sir.

BigB: So.. everybody has had lunch, I suppose. We can begin, right ?

While most of us kept quiet and fought hard to keep culinary temptations far far away from our minds.. somebody mumbled a feeble ‘yes’. Voila… HighSociety cuts in with her characteristic assertive voice.

HighSociety: Everybody, please leave your application forms on the table. I will come around and collect it. You will be given a topic – and the first ten minutes require you to write a 150 word essay on it. The Group Discussion on the same topic will commence immediately after that.

And that was all! Before we knew it, the interview application forms were whisked away – sheets were distributed. At this point, one small mention – full credit to the guys who posted their experiences at this life-support system for all MBA-applicants – Pagalguy.com. We weren’t completely blindsided by the thought of penning an essay… after all, we did it in school – how difficult could it be.

Mr.Murphy could you please stop smiling up there ?!?!?!

HighSociety: Please note down your topic –

Peace and harmony exists because of threat of violence.

You may start now.

What the ?! You serious ?! Hell – I haven’t even filled in my details in the essay sheet – I turned to look at what the other guys were doing – then caught myself, surely I wouldn’t want to be the guy who was looking at the others while everybody else was busy scribbling their essays. But then again – I wasn’t even sure of whether she said – ‘threat of’ or ‘threat or’ [:o]

HighSociety: I hope everybody has understood the topic.

Like hell yeah, as if any one of us would have the sllab to say ‘No, Ma’am could you please explain it further’.

Thing is – when Kaushik Mukherjee writes, he does not write nineteen-to-the-dozen, he writes nineteen and then another dozen – when all he should be writing is five (as you must have figured out from the posts). So I started on a joyride through Nonsenseland, past the Fountain-of-Bullshit and down Gibberish Lane. Before I knew it, ten minutes of ‘artistic-from-far, illegible-from-near’ hand-scribbling was over. Mentioned about the changing values of peace in todays world and how a peace which is dependent on threat would be too dynamic an equilibrium to stand the test of time. Quoted examples of the Iran-US conflict, Danish cartoonist, Southern Comfort (I love this example) to sketch an idea of peace being relative to the people who define it, and real harmony could only be attained if we based it on values such as truth and justice and not violence.

BigB: Okay then, start !

What already ?! Well, I had almost expected somebody to jump the gun and start a rabid monologue, but then – 1 second….. 2 – ahem, I was almost gearing up for a completely unprepared entry when the guy with the experience started off. Great ! Now, why did I even think of beginning – when I knew that some amount of ‘ethical piggybacking’ would be necessary in a topic like this. Simply because I knew that with each long-drawn passing second, I knew our chances as a group were on an exponential decrease. Nevertheless, the crisis had been averted – speaker 1…. Speaker 2… and there we go – I love no.3 – WHAM ! ‘Yes.. I would agree with you – and in support the example of…’ Muhahaha !!! and the show was on the road.

All in all the GD was a roller-coaster ride where the guys decided to fight it out with each other with the sole hilarious exception of times when the lady spoke. Ridiculous is not the word for it – one moment we would be crisscrossing verbal Zorro Z’s on each other – and then the lady would start – ‘But the topic, if actually look ed at from the angle which it was originally meant to be looked at…’ :x Lady ! That’s 5 seconds – somebody interrupt ! ‘Earlier we had God and then we had peace and today even now when we have God and the peace is no longer…’ Somebody please… !!! 12 seconds of uninterrupted talk ! 15seconds… Could not take it anymore – had to cut her short – with a very lame ‘But, would that be the case in the present? Today we have situations like…’ Wham ! And I was speeding away with my own example. That is when the gentleman next to me became increasingly interested in religion and that particular aspect of the topic – MAYDAY ! MAYDAY !

Actually, mayhem was more like it – priceless moments. We shutting up collectively everytime the lady spoke, and almost all her sentences began with – ‘If we look at the topic…’ And then when this fresher was speaking about some vague war and grim’ fello tries to put his point forward – and KABLAM! He says ‘excuse me! Please let me complete..’ Boy o boy ! The lady did a little ‘We are all simply shouting’ whining in the middle – as I barely managed to put it lateral points such a Mother Teresa and the impact of peace and terror on the World Economy – rattled off some FDI/FII jazz so that if BigB and HighSociety noted that and quizzed me on it later, I would come good.

BigB: Okay… okay. That was a very nice GD, yes ?

Amazing. First he gets entertained and then he asks us ?

BigB: We will have the interviews starting from ‘One’. Please take a 10-minute break. We will start after that.

Now this was when the extremely hospitable Alaap showed me around his campus - beautiful campus with couple of pretty exchange-program lasses to push the whole place one rung higher in this imaginary respect-ladder I maintain. And this was when I decided to pen what you would have seen, had you stopped by this journal before now.

“ You know what's cool ?
Sitting here inside the IIM-B Computer Centre and jotting down this bit in the break between my GD and the Interview.
GD over. Not a very likable topic !! Did OK.
Waiting for the interview.Wish me luck ”

Fire-n-Ice

Having met Therian(who was kind enough to call me up and abuse the hell outta me sometime last week for not meeting him during my K-interview), Bhaduria and a couple of others, I was back to the grind. As number 7 – this smart chap called Shireesh exited the room, I tucked my ‘economy airline’-special edition of Businessworld inside my folder. A few minutes back, I had visited the restroom to do a final tune-up of the whole hair-in-place, tie-neatly-down-the-centre rigmarole, when who would have walked – but BigB. Now, I know that I could broken the ice with him – but frankly, I did not feel like breaking anything with him over there. The very fact that he was next to me – was pretty unnerving, ummm… call it stage fright :)

Apparently, our panel was a benevolent one – and Shireesh simply told me to knock and go right in.

Hell, yeah. Knock – (smart rap on the door) – May I come in? Confident, as I put my first foot inside the room where I would try my hand at winning destiny over to my side.

BigB: Please wait outside, we’ll call you in a minute.

[:o] Damn – now why, me !

HighSociety: Come in please.

Now as I entered, I turned to close the door behind me. It was at this point that I noticed that no matter how hard I tried, I could not close that dratted door. There was this crazy doorstop which had decided to act-up – that very day, that very moment – and before long, I saw HighSociety walking towards me – Oh! No! Should I bend and straighten it with my hands? My foot seemed jammed – and on top of that the lady’s like almost next to me.

YT: Uh… ma’am that’s alright, I’ll manage. (And with a final flick of the toe, straightened the doorstop and was about to slam the door shut)

HighSociety: Oh no…. I need to go out for a while. Please carry on.

Wonderful, Mr.Mukherjee – great going. Well, not that I did not wait till she had left the room to shut it, but hell – I could have sure as hell done without that.

BigB was goin through my interview application leaflet as I eased into the chair – actually, honestly – anything but ‘eased’.

BigB: So..Kaushik Mukherjee (nods at me very encouragingly)
YT: Yes, sir ?!

BigB: So you're coming from Calcutta ?
YT: No Sir, actually from Hyderabad. That is where I am working presently. The address on the form is the same as that on my CAT admit card – my permanent address.

BigB: Oh so working in Oracle? And.. oh, drawing a handsome salary ?!
YT: Well Sir – the figure you see there is actually the cost-to-company divided by 12. In reality, the figure is much less than that.

BigB: Oh… so ‘in-hand’ how much?
YT: For some reason, I always thought people asked this only if they were considering me as a prospective son-in-law… was about to feel a little giddy about the idea….when I pictured BigB as a father-in-law.. HEEELP !!! Sir, its about XX,XXX.

BigB: Okay so, Schooling – where did you do ?
YT: Now this was strange – normally they would simply ask the stereotypical ‘tell-me about yourself’ question.. and here this guys was actually asking me the stuff in instalments. Sir, Don Bosco Scool – Calcutta is where I did all 12 years of my schooling.

BigB: Good.. good and then… BITS, Pilani ? Good – what is your specialization ?
YT: This is exactly when I took a mental oath of making a fleeting reference of EEE and shifting the topic asap. Sir, Electrical and Electronics.

BigB: Screws up his face. Electrical or electronics ?
YT: Powerless. Sir, it’s a degree called EEE – where both are included – we also have E&I where it is Electronics and Instrumental. EEE is what I did.

BigB: Why joined?
YT: Started off on a speech about how Comp.Sci was my first choice and how inspite of having one of the best scores in the country…blah blah I landed up with the second choice, and I had to make a trade-off – chose the brand-name of BITS, Pilani – pursued my interests in the software field though electives and projects..

BigB: Ahem…I meant – why are these two joined… Electrical and Electronics – any idea?
YT: Flushing a beetroot red – oh, I am sorry Sir. I think I misunderstood your question. Its been the structure of the university prescribed course for quite a while now.

BigB: What was your major and what was your minor…
YT: No! he was about to ask me questions on my weakest link. Sir, we did not have the concept on major and minor, it was an integrated course.

BigB: Hmmmm….. So you know Electrical…
YT: Helpless. Sir, I studied Electrical subjects..

BigB: Hmmm… And you know Electronics also…
YT: Buried. Sir, I studied Electronics subjects…

BigB: So Electrical and Electronics - you know both ?
YT: Buried alive. Slightly nodded my head – I think I mumbled something, but it was barely audible.

BigB: Suddenly breaks into a grin. So you have two feathers in your cap !!!
YT: Frankly, this confused the hell outta me. What next ?

BigB: Screws up face. Then Oracle ? That is then your 3rd feather ?!
YT: Yessir – you are right Sir – one on my right wing, three on my rump – and I’m the chicken who’s behing this HYN1 avian-virus scare… wtf? Sir, its in contination with what I always loved doing…. har har har !!!

BigB: So…Is EEE helping you with your job...
YT: Gave a pretty evasive answer about how EEE course topics are not in use since we work on Loyalty Development – but core problem analyzing skils help us form algorithms and develop code from the framework of the solution.

BigB: Oh.. what so what do you do at work ?
YT : Sir.. Oracle CRM – blah blah – first team to develop a product entirely I India…

BigB: Interrupts – what do you do ?
YT : with a meek nod. Develop the customer value assessment program to assess a member’s chances of moving up or down a hierarchy.

BigB: So you write the algorithm also ?
YT : Yes sir, I do !

BigB: So is there no difference between computer science graduate and you...
YT: Told them about how the selection procedures and criteria were different. Job profiles were different. Separate panel to question them during the campus interviews.

BigB: So is there discrimination in your team… between a comp-Sci graduate and you ? Do you face any difficulties ?
YT: Told them about my interests... and electives - OOP and DP. And how it has put me in a favourable position in my team. Of course, what I did not mention there is that the number of non-CS guys in our team outnumber the CS-guys by quite a sizable margin.

BigB: So you're as good as any other computer science graduate in your team?
YT: Oh, even better Sir – on second thoughts, I kept shut and uttered a simple ‘Yes, Sir!’

BigB: What does your father do?
YT: Gave a brief intro about his being the general manager(projects) at Techno India Ltd.

BigB: So is he also an engineer ?
YT: Now honestly – this guy actually began each and every one of his sentences with ‘so’ ! Yessir – Electrical from BHU.

Time seemed to be moving on at its own pace. He had conveniently (for me) drifted off the dreaded topic of ‘technical acads’ – was this it? Had I nailed it?

BigB: Tenth marks…interrupts my thought process midway… 92.8…good! Twelfth marks – 96.25…. very good!
YT: As I put on my modest-best smile and tried to mutter a silent thank-you to the One above for choosing me as His gifted child-of-the-day..suddenly…very suddenly..I felt the ground beneath my feet slip.

BigB: BITS, Pilani…7.49 !!?!? Not very good – and that look. He was actually looking straight into my eyes – demanding an explanation without even asking me for it – And then in management, even lower ?
YT: No way!!! Sir – if you notice, my grades 3rd year was the ‘nadir’ (me and my big words) after which I have been steadily been on an uptrend – if you notice my final semester grades and the CAT scores. Hah! How would he know about the magical healings powers of the thing we call practice school.

BigB: No.. no… but I have just these figures in front of me – if you see the graph is going down now. Can you draw a graph.
YT: Trust me… I was so involved in the discussion that I did not notice my index fingers doing a few snazzy orchestra bandmaster movements as I tried tracing the curve of my imaginary intellect – okay, make that – imaginary curve of my intellect.

BigB: Would you need a pen? Here… draw it on this pad. And proudly opened an IIM-Lucknow writing pad on the desk.

YK: Kaushik @ work. I carefully drew the axes – performance on the y-axis and time on the x-axis.. was busy plotting the years, when...

BigB: Umm…. What is all this?
YT: Sir – these are the first twelve years… and then…

BigB: I have just three figures… plot them on the graph.

As I hastily redrew a more simpler graph, the HighSociety finally decided to get back to the room. As she neared the table, I made a conscious attempt to break my graph-sketching for a long enough pause to greet her as she sat down. In retrospect, I think this little thing went down rather well with her. Its funny how little things can sometimes set the tone for loads to come. It even funnier, perhaps that the fact that I wished her ‘Good morning’ at about 4 in the late afternoon – ceased to matter.

HighSociety: To BigB, maybe he could include his CAT scores in this graph?
BigB: Not necessary.

Back to the graph. See, I’m no Picasso – and while I can do a mean graph – when it came to this one graph – I was very very careful to make sure than the lows did not actually look like … you know real ‘low’ lows – but the other half of me – was intent on making the high – seem like a real ‘high’ high. End product – as inverted a U as I could have possibly not wanted – almost like the sad Yahoo! Smiley – sheesh – I was half scared that the paper would have reflected my state… and who would interrupt but BigB.

Heck, I wanted to cover all possible angles of questions - 360 degrees, you get me ?!
...Front - why is the low not low enough... Sir, relative - so its more than average.
...Back - Why is the high so high - sir, one of the top 10 scores in Science in the Country.
...Left - Why the downtrend ? Nadir, baby !
...Right - Where's your consistency ? Sir, its like life where you go through ups and down - and right now I'm on an uptrend with a 99.92 percentile to boot.

BigB: Ahem… so Kaushik - what kind of a graph is that ?
[:o] Kill me, quick ! Even after covering all the directions, forgot that our BigB plays a 3D ballgame. KABLAM ! I could almost feel his weight on my head.

YT: Umm... what kind of graph? Well before I started orchestrating Mozart's 666th symphony, I decided to go clean on this one. Sir.. I’ve studied graphs a long while back and while this does seem familiar – I would not want to wager a guess and end up being wrong in the bargain. (Hyyuck – wordsmith me!!!)

BigB: Oh.. guess – Normal ? What is it ?
YT: He’s throwing names at me. Hell – two can play at that game. Sir, I have studies Poisson, Gaussian and other graphs – but that was a long while back.

BigB: Okay.. What is a mumbo-Jumbo-Gaumbian curve ?
YT: blink182 – seriously, that’s all what I did and that is exactly what the name of the graph sounded like – blink. Sir…again, I would have to pass on this one as I am not sure.

BigB: See, then your graph would be where I would want you to be.
YT: Oh Sir – so it goes up again after this ?

BigB: In a very patronizing – No, my child tone : In a mumbo-jumbo-gaumbian curve, there are no downs – it keeps increasing till a level and then it stays there – consistency – it is consistency
YT: Now this is what I hate about myself – at that instant, you would not believe what almost slipped out of my mouth – ‘yes sir ! just like a low/high/band pass filter’ Now firstly, I did not say that…. Mostly, because I was not sure whether it was a band-pass, low-pass or a high-pass filter this colourful mind of mine had conjured up. Can you imagine what would have happened had I actually said that ?

HighSociety finally decides to take some interest in me. Actually, by this time I had quite warmed up to her. Then again, BigB had not left much of me to be decimated – so I wondered what this lady would get at.

HighSociety: Kaushik… how many calls do you have ?
YT: Faking a very very convincing modest look. Ma’am – I have calls from all the IIMs.

HighSociety: So what is you criteria for choosing a b-school ?
YT: Awrite – time to go for the kill. Started on a monologue where I talked about people falling prey to magazine rankings – spoke of first-hand knowledge of people who had joined institutes only to find that it did not really match their profile. Told them, I would go for a b-schools which would suit my profile.

HighSociety: Interrupts…what is this profile? I’m not too sure if I understand..
YT: Told them that in any b-school the output is heavily dependent on what we take to the b-school. It is upto us to marry the facilities of the institute to the value we bring in by virtue of our profile – explained with personal example – Oracle work-ex, BITS Pilani. Now to let out a little secret – I had read up a little bit about IIM-L, and this is when I decided to try my hand at showing them how interested I really was. Spoke about HEPP – Higher Entry Placement Program – how it would benefit somebody with more than 20 months of workex.

BigB: Cuts in. But that’s there in every school.
YT: Told them that they that Special Interest Groups and Value Learning Labs which would benefit people with entrepreneurial interests – much like me. And then…. Suddenly.. almost too suddenly – before I could react.

HighSociety: But why are you pitching for IIM-L? I never asked you why you wanted to join IIM-Lucknow?

OMG! Oh MG! Oh My G !!! OH MY GOD !!!! Yes… yes… of course – she was right ?! What the hell was I trying to do blurting out the right answers to the wrong question. I decided to give it one last shot. If there was any way out of this near-fatal move, it would be conviction – true-blue, pure conviction.

Now my conviction is about as blue as your hair is red. And in any case, if you happen to be a redhead reading this – How’re you doin?

YT: Ma’am – I was just taking IIM-Lucknow as example in the present case, of course given the hypothetical situation that I do have an option of choosing between bschools, I would see which one suits my needs the best.

HighSociety: What are some of the criteria which these magazines use to rate bschools?
YT: Ma’am – there’s average placement salary (NEVER! Ever mention this as the first point – mistake !!!!) I had realized it – but tried to cover it up with a quick succession of other points – industry linkage, faculty(again in a semi-hushed tone), infrastructure, alumni-network, curriculum, etc.

HighSociety: So you’re saying the magazine ratings do not affect you?
YT: No ma’am – they don’t, and I’m very positive about that.

At this point, my gaze suddenly shifted to BigB and what I saw put me in a bit of a fix. See had his head cocked to one side – one eyebrow arched over the other – peering at me with the open eye – as if he had this virtual rifle dangling in front of him and he was taking deadly aim at my temple.

Bravo! Bullseye Belly ! LOL !

HighSociety: Okay Kaushik, should the IIMs go global ?
YT: Now that’s what I’m talking about. Told them that I’m aware of the Union HRd Ministry’s viewpoint of the IIMs establishing more centres within the country. Pointed out that there were already 1000+ b-schools within the country and with the kind of reputation that the IIMs enjoy within the country – founding many more IIMs would lead to ‘brand dilution’ -

BigB: Had to cut in – I think he heard me call him ‘Bullseye belly’. But you're saying there won't be brand dilution if we open campuses abroad ?
YT: Spoke about the IIMs being the finest product of the Indian Education system – and how it has made path-breaking progress in churning out a world-class pool of managers. Added that international presence needs to be extended beyond exchange programs – IIMs are at times globally underrated – unfairly, but this stems from lack of knowledge and chance – given the opportunity to expand globally, the IIMs would definitely have what it take to leave its mark on the international b-school scene.

HighSociety: Arches her eyebrows. Okay…thank you, Kaushik.
BigB: Thank you. All the best.

All the best ? Strangely, my first impulse was to mutter a cheerful ‘Thank you – same to you’ ! Come on – after all, that’s what we have been telling each other through those 12 years of school, to before CAT and even now – right before I entered this room. Thankfully, I managed a polite ‘Thank you. Have a nice day’ before getting off-stage.

In retrospect

Balderdash! Ah, that is where we started from, didn’t we. Two down and if there is one thing which I have learnt from these – its that sometimes we really need to be who we are and let our instincts guide us along the way we have to walk. The present lays down far too many do’s and dont’s along our lives than it actually should. When a herd is bound by the same set of binary truths – we cease to exist as individuals, we become one amongst the crowd. We browse websites and journals for answers to questions that look at us in the face and ask – ‘Why do you want to do an MBA?’ Strengths, weaknesses – achievements… Questions, which we as children could have answered before we spelt M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. All said and done – if you have been confident enough to walk the path that brought you to this point, the biggest advantage you have could be you, yourself – unbound.

Tame birds sing. Wild birds – they fly.

I'll see you next after the 28th-1st double-whammy of Indore and Ahmedabad.

Sing for the Moment

"It's a damp cold night.
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new...
I don't know who you are, but I'm..."

- I'm with you, Avril Lavigne.

Verdict : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.

IIM-K : First Blood...

2006-02-15T00:44:00.000-08:00

There are times in your life when you know you have worked really hard for the occasion you’re about to face. Times like these, you can feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins, your heart drumming a frenzied beat – and your face wearing the determined look that would easily put any of your fellow competitors to severe discomfiture. But at other times….. oh well – there are experiences like the one I am going to narrate.

At this point in time, I think there is something about me that you need to know. When I say that I have actually had the craziest of experiences on Valentine’s Day, I mean it. From decorating red envelopes with mini-red hearts to avoiding security-chowkis by climbing walls to actually spending an entire day in bed – (hang on) – down with cold and viral fever, and sadly exchanging the absolutely wrong kind of virus.

And I thought I would limit the feathers in my already-colourful cap to that. Apparently, not.

I had been in town for about two days already – and although my initial plan was to make judicious use of the time in hand to prepare, I actually ended up shopping for formals and stationery for the better part of my stay. The remaining was of course carefully allocated to serially bugging three of my best friends ever – Bikram, Roshith and Sohini – guys I was staying over with in Bangalore.

February 14th, 2006 : My IIM-Kozhikode interview @ Bangalore.

Now my ideal time for an interview is about 11:30 in the night – you know, the time you’re not too sleepy and not too drunk in case you’re out. Oh heck, in any case you can wrap it up in half-an-hour to be in time for your ‘midnight mistletoes’. IIM-Kozhikode apparently thinks otherwise. When they say 0930 hrs, they actually do not mean 9:30 a.m. – they mean even earlier.

‘Candidates are requested to report to the centre well in advance for the group discussion and interview’ – Drat !

And thus on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday morning, Sleepy Kaushik and Zombie Bikram inched through the Banerghatta road traffic to reach IIM-Bangalore, which was my centre for the interview. Well, little did I know, that it was about to get pretty pretty eventful.

The façade. Now that’s what I’m talking about – although I do admit that I haven’t seen those of the other IIMs, but this one was very very impressive. In fact, so much so that I was literally scared that in answer to a probable interview question – ‘Why do you want to join IIM-Kozhikode ?’, I would have probably replied – ‘I want to join IIM-Bangalore because…’ J

Focus shifted with a jolt when I suddenly noticed this all-important guy with a display book in hand, suited-booted like it was winter in Seattle – yes, an interviewee. To think, that I had barely begun to cope with my restricted movements in my formal attire. Yes, a tie, shirt and trousers is formal enough for me, thank you !

After meandering through a maze of corridors, I landed up at a corridor where a couple of edgy-looking (if you know what I mean) aspirants shifted uneasily on their chairs. There seemed to be just a handful of them, say 8-9 and I decided to make conversation to do the proverbial ‘easing myself into the situation’ bit.

‘Hey, this is the IIM-K interview thing right ?’

‘No. This is for IIM-L’

End of conversation.

:o L ? ‘L’ as in Lucknow – hey, I was pretty sure it was K! K for Kozhikode, man ! Thankfully before my blood-pressure decided to do a Bubka, I was told that the Kozhikode interviews were on a different floor.

Walk…walk..walk.. oh freak !!! 9:10….jog….trot…wait! no trot – me not a horse – jog…scamper…set tie straight…see a few people…. Slow into a huffy-puffy walk. Ah, we have arrived ! But woah – what was this mini congregation over here ? This was no 8-9 semi-nervous students – some 30 of them. And everybody seemed pretty nice and happy about being there. As if the proverbial ‘nerves of steel’ were suddenly on sale and that too at a 50% rebate….oh heck.

I was done with submitting my interview form and academic certificates and decided to make a quick trip to the restroom to check if the formals were in place – and by that, I mean no weird bulges at odd places. Hate it when the shirts decide to balloon out in all weird direction – ummm, I might be battling a bulge – but NOT the MRF Zappers you see on TV.

No sooner did I return than they started splitting the mob into three different panels. I was a part of the first panel – third in number, and on cursory inpection found my panel-mates to be pretty civilized. Ideally, if you go by what the gurus say, you ought to break the ice within your group before you hit the Group Discussion – it gives you a feeling of familiarity when you speak. And if you go by what actually happens, the IIM profs are too smart - they whisk you away before you can spell IIM and before you know it, you’re actually in the hot seat.

Well, I did meet this one guy fourth-year guy who had scored a 100 percentile in DI and PS – and trust me, it did not do any good to my confidence. Our names were called, as the two interviewers indicated the position where we would be sitting.

To give you a clearer idea, if the interviewers were ‘Y’ and we were ‘X’, our positioning was actually somewhat like what is given below.

..........X..........X..........X..........X.....
Y -------------------------------------
Y -------------------------------------
..........X..........X..........X..........X.....

Oh, and I’m bold – well, usually.

Meet the Moderators

Well, there were two of them and unlike the proverbial ‘good cop-bad cop’ couple – they seemed more like a ‘I do not speak – yes, I speak’ pair. The gentleman in the left seat was one of those who look at you and most irritatingly, do not speak. The ‘70s black, thick-rimmed glasses, dishevelled hair and an attitude to spare. Umm… lemme name him ‘Snooty’. The one in the right seat, seemed like your over-the-hill HR executive – little squeaky and a little pesky with litte hair and a lot of questions… we’ll call him ‘Squeaky’ for now.

Squeaky : The topic for the GD is given on the paper in front of you. Please use it to note down any thoughts about the topic. The same will be collected at the end of the discussion.

Snooty : You have 2 minutes to read the topic and 10 minutes to discuss.

Okay, this is it – whats it gonna be ? Indian Economy – hah, I’ve mugged that one. Indian politics ? Hmmm….. might have to do a bit of ‘stealth-piggybacking’… Should I begin ?

Turn the page.

“History has taught us that nothing is often the best thing to do and the cleverest thing to say” - (forgot the name of the guy)

[:o ] Bamboozled. But only for the first 15 seconds or so, while I drew my customary three-column structure and separated my thoughts into examples, opinions and ‘trumps’. As a rule, I have never been very bullish on being the first one to speak in a GD, unless the topic is something I am well-versed in. Sure enough, no sooner had Snooty snorted a ‘Start’ – the one to my right shot off…History.. blah blah.

Okay..5….10…15 secs…bang ! interrupt – this lady sitting opposite to me jumps in with her thoughts on the topic… hey ! 2 speakers up already – awrite baby…. GERONIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘The good and bad of this society happens because of the sanction we give it’ – and yours truly had jumped in all guns blazing. Thing is, this first statement kinda took everyone else in the room by surprise – and to my glee and amusement, I wedged in a substantial amount of airtime – where I quoted the Manjunath Shanmugam incident and the pros and cons of being passive as opposed to being proactive. Very soon, it turned out to be a lively discussion. Lively – yet pleasant, no fish-markety stuff over here,

Examples galore – and everybody seemed to agree on the fact that in today’s world – we need a proactive stance with the right amount of caution to make the battle last. Last long enough to make a change. I pushed in the Indira Nooyi finger and the Southern Comfort whisky issue – and in the minutes that followed, everything from Jinnah to Khusboo was talked about. At this point, I decided to step in and underline the fact that yes, we had examples – but instead on showcasing them, we should move to deriving a conclusing from them.

The point was well-received, and although a few people did try squeezing in more examples, overall there seemed to be a consensus on the topic. In the last few minutes, the devil got the better of me and I tried playing on the word ‘often’ and examples where historical faux pas could have been avoided. A few more seconds, Snooty taps his pen on the desk – ‘That will be it. Thank you. Please wait outside for your interview’

All in all, a good discussion – and the eight of us exited the room feeling pretty nice about having broken the ice in a rather constructive manner.

Shaken not stirred

At this point, I had a reasonable feeling that the group had gone off the way I would have wanted it to. Not only had I managed the maximum airtime amongt the others, some of the points I had put forward very very close to the issue we were beating about. In the minutes before my turn, my certificates copies were checked with the originals and I even tried reading a businessworld issue about airlines in India, not to mention a sudden frantic call to Daddy-O to find out about the Governor of West Bengal. Man, all I needed to do was ace the interview….

You know, even as I say this – I have this eerie feeling that Snooty’s watching me… and actually chuckling from behind those horn-rimmed glasses. Why ? Lemme tell you why…

Snooty : Kaushik Mukherjee. Come in, please..
Moi : Yessir!

Party time !

As soon as I enter, I closed the door behind me. Squeaky was about to tell me to do so and stopped midway when he saw me in the process. Ah, Mr.Manners – there’s my first impression. Go! Go! Go!

Ah, they say the Lord is watching you. Well, in this case Mr.Murphy was.

Snooty suddenly extends his hand to me – amidst a split second confusion of whether he actually wanted to shake my hand or take the display folders in my hand, I handed him both my folder. One with all my certificates – and the other with wait.. lemme see – businessweek, printouts, businessworld, rough sheets. Kaushik… do something !!!! If he opens that – you’re fuckin’ fried meat.

Moi: Umm… Sir, this folder’s got my personal belongings.
Snooty: So why are you giving it to me ?

Moi: Sir, its got my degree certificate, if you’d want to have a look.
Snooty: Not necessary.

Whew! Just-in-time… now I understand what this JIT philosophy is all about. Snooty peruses through my certificates as Squeaky takes over.

Squeaky: So…almost one and a half years in Oracle CRM, tell me about what you’ve done.
Moi: Told them about the importance of our team - initially planned as competition for Siebel Loyalty - airline frequent flyer program - joined the team at its formative stages - saw the entire process of requirements gathering, technical and functional designing and in the last 6 months developing.

Squeaky: So u developed a CRM application for Oracle ?
Moi: (What the…!!!) Sir, I'm owner of a module - Customer value assessment module - blah blah - clubs and tiers - priviledge classes.

Squeaky: Have you used Data-mining techniques in this ?
Moi: [:o] No sir, I have developed a concurrent program to pick a batch of 10,000 member records and assess their chances (suicide no 1) of getting upgraded or downgraded acros a hierarchial listing of priviledge clubs.

Squeaky: So what technologies have you worked on ?
Moi: Mostly PL-SQL and Oracle Forms interface - the Oracle Concurrent manager.(thought I'd say Java - but really didn't want to give them a scope to screw my happiness).

At this point, Snooty breaks in which his own question….

Snooty: So what is the highest level you have achieved in anything ?

Oh, by the way, did I tell you ? I’m planning on directing a movie called ‘As vague as it gets’ – Snooty plays the lead in it, by the way.

Moi: Mmm... sir are talking about extra-curriculars or just academics..

Snooty: No… everything.
Moi: Disctrict level Swimming championships where I represented my university and won a gold and a bronze medal in the 50/100m freestyle events.

Thought it would settle down and create the kind of effect you see in the movies – you know the background music crescendo types. But Squeaky had to break in, of course.

Squeaky: {back to work !!!} So do you lead a team at Oracle ?
Moi: That would be incorrect Sir. [what a stuck up reply !!!] I joined as an Applications Engineer - and although I've had opportunities to lead teams of new recruits through the initial stages at Oracle, my designation reads 'Applications Engineer'

Squeaky: Okay, so in your field 'conditional probability' ought to play a big role - do you know what it is?
Moi: Yes sir (Suicide no. 2), Conditional probability - blah blah - theory of event A happening, where its occurence depends on the probablity of event B happening - where event B precedes A.

Squeaky: {blank look} I do not understand.
Moi: More bullshit - should have just said I'm not sure - damn ! In the middle - I drew an analogy of bals and cubes of different shapes and sizes in a bag split them into black and white colours…. and the guy just looked as if he wanted to add my 'two-bit' to the kitty as well !! Mentioned a P(A).P(B) somewhere – and then….BANG !

Squeaky: So conditional probablity is P(A).P(B) ?
Moi: Noooooooooo !!!! Beat a hasty retreat - repeated some stuff - he appeared pretty dissatisfied.

Squeaky: That is not Conditional probability. Again, how does this probablity apply in your field...
Moi: Apologized for the unsatisfactory explanation. Rambled on about probability of a person achieving a specific priviledge club, tier - etc. based on his attributes against which the evaluation process is done.

Squeaky: So can probablity to attributed to an individual ?
Moi: (What is this ? KBC – final round ??!!) Mumbled something about member attributes and the rules based on them, so better the member attributes higher the chances of satisfying a rule to gain access to a priviledge club. [should have mentioned Frequent Flyer Points, drat !!! forgot…] mentioned miles flown as a parameter – some MPC – miles per customer that I suddenly seemed to have invented out of nowhere…

Squeaky: Oh - so Jet ?
Moi: Why does Priviledge have to be only Jet ? I guess 'jet priviledge' - said - No, but one of the biggest airline players in the world.

Squeaky: What ? Oh – American Airlines ?
Moi: I had to specified Australia - I think that satisfied him !

Squeaky: So coming back - all individuals having say same attribute values, like miles flown would have equal opportunity ?
Moi: The way our model has been designed, it works on certain parameters - and yes, members having the same values in a specified attribute would stand the same chance - HAD to bail out - this was getting on my nerves.

Snooty: (wakes up) So which bike do you own?
Moi: A Hero Honda Karizma, sir. (should have added more zing! to it - a 2004 black Hero Honda ZMA - oh, and by the way - which kicks ass.)

Snooty: Which is the longest road journey you have done ? (I had mentioned one of my hobbies as long-distance biking)
Moi: 562 kms - Bangalore to Chennai - in one day.(Proudest moment of my interview)

Snooty: Which do you think is the best bike in India ?
Moi: Sir, that is a very debatable topic...

Snooty: (Interrupts) Still.. what do you feel..
Moi: Took time off... thought and thought hard - Bajaj Pulsar DTSi 150cc (didn't wanna sound as if I was narrow-minded and only a ZMA fan) Ideally, should have pointed out affordability, which I was about to - when this guy interrupts - damn !

Snooty: Are you a member of any biking club ?
Moi: Damn - blindsided - hadn't prepared - suddenly, XBHP struck a chord - mentioned that.Told him that the trips were usually with friends who had bikes of their own - as for long distance trips - I would anyday prefer a bike over a car.

Snooty: What is it ?
Moi: Started by Sandeep, Delhi - forum for bikeowners and lovers of all sorts. (Again, I should have mentioned - the Hyderabad meets we have.)

Snooty: Why not a touring bike ? How many touring bikes are there in India ?
Moi: Told them about my bike preferences. Thought for a while - mentioned 3-4, Enfield Machismo 535 cc, Enfiels 350 cc, metioned Bajaj Eliminator - 180 cc, said Enticer would not fall into that category as it had a 125cc segment bike which mostly catered to the segment who wanted it for in-city riding.(Suicide No. 3)

Now, believe me – even now if you ask me, I feel that Snooty owned an Enticer..

Snooty: Oh, so the Enticer is a useless bike ?
Moi: No !! Its not ! Won the 'best bike' award 3-4 years back, but the engine is not conducive for long distances.

Snooty: So which is the worst bike in India ? Is it the worst bike in India ?
Moi: (Honest and direct) Sir, I love bikes too much to say that there is a 'worst' bike in the market.

Snooty: Not Enticer? That truly has no character...
Moi: [:o] I swear to you I was pretty confused as to whether he was talking about me or the bike !!! If me, I swear I was at my wit’s end and could have snowballed him the next minute… in any case, I decided to ignore this comment.

At this point, Squeaky points out something in my gradesheet in a pretty animated manner. Snooty takes a look at it… no reaction !! I'm praying - please, no EEE !!! God heard my prayers :) But oh heck, I screwed up in any case...

Snooty: (aha! gotcha) Principles of Management - what did you do in that course ?
Moi: [Oh no… of allthe thing !!!] Ummm - did it a while back – basics of management - 4 P's of marketing by Philip Kotler, entry-level idea about the course - rules such as 'work expands to fill the available time' !!! (Call me bluffmaster)

Snooty: (Looks to the left) – “4 P's and work expands” - so thats all you did in that course ? (the two of them share a snide grin)
Moi: (Damn !) Apologized and said 'my mistake'(which I shouldn't have) did it a long while back and not fresh in my memory..

Snooty: (all of a sudden) Do you dream ?
Moi: For a second thought that I had mis-heard his question. Then - I carried on - 'Yes Sir, I definitely do'

Snooty: So what is your dream ?
Moi: Launched into a tirade about passing out from a b-school - touring the world - gaining a global perspective - find out about India and its software from a foreign perspective.... (interrupts)

Snooty: I asked you about your dream.
Moi: To launch my company by my early thirties, Sir.

Tap of the pen on the desk.

Snooty: Thank you Kaushik, That will be it.
Moi: Thank you, Sirs.

20 minutes to make. 20 minutes to break.

In Retrospect

Well, if there is one thing which I learnt from this – it was that your fate gets decided by 2 people in about 10+20 mins. So, lack of preparation should actually be the last excuse one should possibly resort to after reaching this far. God’s been good, I’d say. No Engineering questions. Well, not that they won’t be asked in the next one. So as for now, time to hit the facts – do some smart, effective mugging.

I’ll see you next after the 20th – my IIM Lucknow interview.

Sing for the Moment

“I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile…”

- She will be loved, Maroon 5.

Verdict : Selected for the PGP batch of 2006-2008.